Inaesthetic Worth

by Firestarter

Published April 7, 2006

In Old Poetry

Brad, you have a way of writing that just makes things so clear: I guess in the past it was more masked, but now you seem to have achieved a state of clarity. I found this poem really powerful. I wonder about the day where you don't write a poem that addresses the reader. However, that's not the issue. "All too willin" in the third stanza sounded kinda awkward when read. I loved "This rocky chasm we call romance" - brilliant. Overall, as always, astounding.

Oh, and - you use "rocky" and "rocks" in the last stanza - you might wanna consider altering one of the two.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Shriek
Review
Shriek wrote a review Review · Apr 8, 2006

This is excellent, Brad. Though I'm sure much of the deeper meaning went over my head, I did appreciate the images this brought to mind--especially the bit about the "foreign limbo." I am in agreement with Xanthan gum: the third stanza lacked the flow and clarity of the others. I will suggest taking out the words "though we're miles apart" (or at least modifying them) so that the "hyper-sensitive seismograph" image can be appreciated, as it is a clever one. The closing line was excellent, tied the everything together very well. Thanks for sharing.

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xanthan gum
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xanthan gum wrote a review Review · Apr 8, 2006

There is not a quiver in your heart that I
do not feel though we're miles apart,

okay, as a sentance this doesn't make sense to me.

There is not a quiver in your heart (i'm good so far) that I do not feel though we're miles apart (blah, blah, blah - metaphor)

um..what? haha. maybe it's just be, but this seems to be confused.



You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.
— Stephen King