look me in my eyes one more time
with that sly mischievousness,
i dare you.
tell me how you feel.
~
say my name.
let it linger on your tongue
and tell me how it tastes.
i'll have to wonder if it tastes the same as you.
~
you played me
just like how you play your guitar.
your looks were nothing more
than what i thought you could be.
~
i believe you can change,
you are not malicious at heart, i know.
but if not now, when?
so for now i mourn
the person i thought you were
and could become.
~
i so badly want to hate you:
it would be so much easier
than mixing these colors
that will eventually turn to muck.
hate me too,
then i'll know
that you cared in the first place.
~
tell me to my face;
it would have hurt less.
let the knives leave your lips.
i'll catch them while looking at you
dead in your lying eyes.
you'd better pray for mercy
when i decide what to do with them.
~
my tears were not beautiful for you.
they ran like blood.
have you no remorse
for my output of grief?
i swore to the heavens above
and prayed for an apology
i knew i'd never get.
~
my friends were right,
i deserve better.
but what better can there be
when you're not occupying my mind?
i love you to death,
but i can't pretend that you ever loved me.
for so long you have been my everything.
to you, i was never even one of your things.
~
i will be lucky to ever love again.
but how do i love
when it's not for you anymore?
where do i look for my happiness
when i do not get joy from you?
~
i've poured endless thoughts
and riveting emotions
into imagined scenarios with you.
you were tender and loving then.
now who do i use?
~
the emptiness is greater
than the lungs of the deceased
when i figure out
i don't love you like i did yesterday.
~
i pull out my eyelashes and wish it wasn't true.
like a grieving mother
denying her child is gone.
i barely remember a time
when i went somewhere
and didn't imagine bumping into you.
~
you were never someone to care
about anything anyway.
but if you come to me
after i've thrown you out,
i don't know what i would do.
i know i should walk away
but i want you to break my brain.
~
i've hoped what you've shown to not be true,
but i'll never stop loving you
even if it doesn't make any sense anymore.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
"The poem evokes a strong sense of heartbreak and betrayal, as the speaker grapples with their feelings for someone who has hurt them deeply. The language is raw and visceral, conveying a sense of desperation and pain that is hard to ignore. The speaker's vulnerability is palpable, making the reader feel the weight of their emotions.
What I like most about the poem is its honesty. The speaker doesn't hold back or sugarcoat their feelings, but instead lays them bare for the world to see. This rawness is what gives the poem its power, as it allows the reader to connect with the speaker on a deep level.
To enhance the poem, I would suggest tightening up some of the phrasing to make it more concise. For example, instead of "my tears were not beautiful for you, they ran like blood," the line could be shortened to "my tears ran like blood." This would help to maintain the poem's intensity while also streamlining the language. Additionally, a few more moments of introspection or reflection could help to break up the intensity of the emotions and provide some moments of respite for the reader."
This poem is so beautiful, and it does a very good job of beautifully depicting a very ugly part of life.
i've poured endless thoughts
and riveting emotions
into imagined scenarios with you.
you were tender and loving then.
now who do i use?
This stanza in particular really stands out to me, because it mentions imagining. For the most part, I feel like that's something that we all do, and more often than not, our imaginings just cause reality to be that much more disappointing.
Thank you so much for writing this beautiful poem, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
*gurmgles* helelo FireEyes ma'am i am is here for a review woa amayzing i kno. anyways, i apologize for the sheer dodo-ness of this review as i no brain big worbs like you do, so here we go!
As always in your poetry-- and as lady quill mentioned below-- this poem is full of a LOT of raw emotion, and i feel like i'm cheating seeing as i understand the scenario more than most here
:eyes:but, ah, here we are. since this is free verse and i'm far from being a pro i don't have much constructive criticism to offer so i'm just gonna put some stuff that made my brain gurgle and go "OoOOoO"1.
i feel the grief in these verses, like, ";_; you had so much potential" type thing and it really went *BAM* in my chest and the feeling of almost, failure?? ouch.
2.
heh i like paint. i ALSO like how you imagery-ized
??(there's a word for that, i know, dont remember)your emotions as paint and they're just getting all muddled up because you don't really know how to feel about this certain person, and that was a really cool picture to *pain*t in my mind3.
OKAY SO LIKE JUST THIS ENTIRE STANZA IS AWESOME BUT ESPECIALLY THIS PART LIKE DAYUMMM. that's well deserved, and again a beautiful use of figorateev language C:
4.
i really liked this one, since it shows just how brutal this was for you, and how in one of your other poems you say you're a pretty crier, and here you mention that they weren't beautiful, just for *person* and i think that's really powerful.
5.
OOF. BIG OOF. felt that, just all the hopes and dreams you had with them, like maybe one day it could be true, but it was just a sense of false satisfaction. and just realizing the lies and deceit in their words... so now dreaming with them hurts too much, who do you put your thoughts into now?
6. *bouncing* HEHE MCRMCRMCRMCRMCR6.
these two parts of this stanza were really harsh to feel as well. caring for someone that doesn't care about you is really sucky, but you think that loving them enough will get them to love you back. and even after they've hurt you, you still want them there. like uh. drugs. except. not??
tmw Lux tries to figorateev languageSo there ya have it. a nice gushing about a FireEyes poem just for you because i love your poetry so yep. hab goob day. or night. whenever you read this. I've procrastinated on homework long enough. BYEBYE <333
BB TANK YOUUUU your gushes make me gush
i had to reab ober it again bc so sweet <3
aww shucks <3
Hello! It's quill here to write a review! Sorry if I'm a bit rusty, I haven't reviewed in awhile but this piece really caught my eye.
It's amazing the raw emotion you can feel in every line of this poem. Anger, sadness, maybe even remorse. Every word makes you feel. it captures the attention of the reader and holds it with each word.
I especially love the part where the speaker says it would have been better to hear it from the subjects mouth then to have to realize the truth that lies there. Or to be told by someone else. Because it really shows the aspects of truth, and how even the best or worst of things deserve the proper unsaturated truth, pure are raw.
And then the end, it's so powerful. Emotions can't be stopped, even when it hurts us to our core. It's hard to see how hard it was when we look back, it's hard to forget when feelings were there. It takes true strength to move on. That's what this poem shows the most, the strength it takes to realize, move on, even when you can never truly forget. Every line exudes the strangth the speaker has, and you feel such power. Thank you for this poem<3
Hope this review helps in some way
Thanks Quill! The review means a lot. I'm glad I could convey the emotions well to you! <3