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Rewrite The Stars-Featuring StarLord & Gamora

by EverLight


Gamora

You know I love you Perter Quills

You found me when I was lost

But I've never felt so alone, dying without you.

I don't know if you can hear me in this dark place

But I know our love reaches to the ends of the galaxy

So I just want to say goodbye

Thanos can rewrite the Stars

Though you have been my life

Thanos can decide you and I

Though you have always been my destiny

Thanos can take you away from me

Though you are my heart.

Thanos can say who we are

And he has taken our love tonight

Peter Quills (To Gamora)

You think it's easy saying goodbye

You think Thanos can separate us by a mountain of death

But I refuse to let you go

Thanos may have killed you and destroyed my heart

But I swear it, he will pay, and I will make you see hope

You are my light, and you always will be

No one can say who we are

No one can rewrite the stars

No one can take away our love

Because you know what?

Thanos will never erase you from my heart

Together

All I want is to dance with you

All I need is you're love

Gamora: But that can never happen.

Peter Quills: Yes it can.

Gamora: That is impossible!

Peter Quills

I will never believe that we are impossible!

As long our love is there

We will always be together.


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119 Reviews


Points: 10789
Reviews: 119

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Sun Jan 26, 2020 3:49 am
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Clairia wrote a review...



Hello, there! I'm here to leave you a review!
I don't know too much about Marvel, but this was a really sweet piece. I love angst and love stories, and this tied into both of those categories. Having to say goodbye to a loved one is hard, and it definitely adds to the drama of your work.
I must say this was a little hard to follow. I was a bit confused by the sudden shift to dialogue--I was under the impression that this was a poem. I would suggest removing that snippet at the end, as it threw me off and didn't really help your work.
I wanted to talk about a few technical issues that I noticed throughout this piece.

Thanos can rewrite the Stars

Though you have been my life

Thanos can decide you and I

Though you have always been my destiny

Thanos can take you away from me

Though you are my heart.

This is sweet in conception, but it wasn't executed in its best form. I'd suggest a few minor changes.
For one, maybe consider using "but" instead of "though". It would work better in terms of what you seem to be wanting to convey.
The poetry of this overall is gorgeous, but it's a bit redundant, and for that reason, I can't critique/comment much further :(. I really think you did a good job here!
Thanks for sharing (and keep writing!)

Clairia


This review was brought to you by @Clairia from Team Ruby Reviewers!
Happy January 2020 Review day!
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EverLight says...


Thanks for the review <3



EverLight says...


Thanks for the review <3



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Points: 158
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Thu Dec 19, 2019 2:06 pm
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SimiDeJoie4 says...



Is this poetry or a medicine for my heart?? Amazing, I must say. Keep the good work going. I love your style of writing. You inspire me,Gamora whisperer.




EverLight says...


Thanks <3



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37 Reviews


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Sat Dec 14, 2019 2:53 am
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LadyMysterio wrote a review...



Hello Queen of the World!
It's you monarchy friend Lady Mysterio here.
Goodness I almost started crying.
It makes me want to write one about Hawkeye and Black Widow, not to this song though. Contrary to popular opinion they are not in love and shouldn't be shipped, just friends who have been through a lot together. (hawkeye has a wife and kids for goodness sake!)
Back to your song, it definitely reads to the tune of rewriting the stars better than when i last read it.




EverLight says...


Thank you Lady Of Mystery <3
Between you and me I actually hate the pairing of Hawkeye and Black Widow. *sighs. People will take the best friendships between a man and a woman and then call it a romance. I HATE it.



EverLight says...


Anyway, that's a sign if worked-if you almost started crying, <33



LadyMysterio says...


YES THANK YOU I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE!( first comment)
LOL(second comment)



EverLight says...


That's how a judge the quality of a written work-by how hard it hits the reader.
YOUR WELCOME! (;



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98 Reviews


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Mon Dec 09, 2019 1:27 am
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shieldmaiden says...



I really like this. Amazing poetry and I nearly started singing to it. I can really feel both their pain. I really loved Gamora's POV. She's hard to read, yet you made her so vulnerable. Very relatable. Great job and never stop writing!




EverLight says...


What can I say? I'm a Gamora whisperer.



EverLight says...


And of course, thank you <33



shieldmaiden says...


Hee hee. U sure are a Gamora whisperer ;)




cron
If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck…you should not be so quick to jump to conclusions.
— Cecil Gershwin Palmer