Within Silence

Hi there! Just wanted to jump in and leave a review for you because I loved reading through this.

First off, as another reviewer mentioned, the opening lines of the lyrics are the very same ones that open up "The Sound of Silence" which, whether or not was done intentionally, can be a bit cliche or off-putting to some people, while others can find it endearing and reminiscent -- just a little bit of food for thought. I personally would switch it up at least slightly, just so that it doesn't mirror the exact opening lines, but honestly speaking, it didn't bother me -- I'm just assuming that there will be others who take issue with it (since, as I'm sure you'er aware, it's impossible to please everyone..).

Moving forward, there's only one small error in terms of grammar; in the line "I need hide from what's deep inside", I believe you're missing the word "to" in this particular phrase because you include "to" when you conclude the lyrics with the same line. Again, just a small nit-picky thing, not a big deal.

In terms of the message behind the lyrics, I found that it was very heavily laced with a sense of confusion and longing, and this is communicated very well through your use of words like "tearing", "broken", and the idea of running and hiding. I also love the music it's paired with, so great job there

All in all it's a wonderful set of lyrics -- paired with the music, it flows very well, and I thoroughly enjoyed going through it line by line.

Hope this was helpful! Happy 2020

Hi there EverLight! Niteowl here to leave a quick review.

First off, I like the music you set this to. I have a hard time with the music side of things. I usually have a strong idea for the melody and if I mess around on the keyboard enough, I can come up with some chords, but it's really hard for me to do actual music with my lyrics.

Second, I feel like I have to address the elephant in the room. "Hello darkness my old friend" is also the first line of "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel, which has become a meme (confession time: that's the only reason I know this song haha). It's probably just coincidence, but given how famous that line is, I would consider reworking that line. Even something like "I greet darkness like a friend" would sound different enough.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I think you have some great lines. My favorite is "I don't know what's right, all I know is that it's all been a lie". I also like "Who do you think you are, what do you have now? You need to run and run from everything you once were". There's a clear intensity of emotion here, which is great.

What I think could be better is the development of the song idea. I feel like the speaker is feeling a lot of sadness and pain, but I find myself wondering why she's in pain. In story terms, I feel like I'm hearing the climax of the story, but I don't have much of the rest of the plot. I know dreams are shattered and the speaker's life is broken, but I might feel it more if I had a taste of what an unbroken life was like for the speaker. Once the idea is fleshed out a little more, it'd be cool to add more unique details, something that makes the song truly your own. Maybe it's a clever metaphor or interesting imagery.

Overall, I love the intensity of the emotion here. Keep writing!

If you want to listen to it you'll find the audio here