This was really good! I really enjoyed it. The mix of the paragraph and poetry was very intriguing. I think the paragraph could use some sentence variety. The first two sentences are pretty long. The first sentence could be made into two sentences. Since it's so long, readers may not follow what you're saying. It's a lot of information in one opening sentence. The poetry portion I love. It flows really well and is a very elegant start to a story. I really liked the repetition of "a tale." It brings a real emphasis to it. I'm looking forward to reading the full thing!
Points: 162
Reviews: 9
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