Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Tick Tock

by EverLight, LokiRagnarok, StarLord


Something, the three of us wrote on EtherPad.

Note: This is not intended to be an alternate lyrics to the song clocks. This was merely written to the tune Clocks.

All Scale Chorus

Tick Tock, Tick Tock Tick Tock

Main Singer

The wheels of time pass me by, and I'm on my knees

Drowning in memories I can't erase

Chorus

Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock

Main Singer

Darkness closes in, and I can't breath air

I'm lost in distant lands, wondering

Am I alive or am I dead

___________________________

All Scale Chorus

Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock

Main Singer

Dreams fly on, and I've lost my heart

Running from  life, hoping

That I will catch a shooting star

Chorus

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

Main Singer

Confusion clouds my mind and I'm lost in thoughts

Praying that my hurt should come to end

Chorus

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock 

All

The great clock of time, ticks on and on

and I'm crying out for mercy amidst the eternal....

(with fade out)

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock.....


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54 Reviews


Points: 405
Reviews: 54

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Sat Feb 15, 2020 6:03 pm
PlainandSimple wrote a review...



I enjoy that this can be interpreted in many different ways. It really includes everyone in any lifestyle. This could be a song to get someone in their emotions, which is great and can be hard to do. It can also be interpreted that time goes on and things can get better, which can get people out of there emotions. Songs like these are hard to make that fit anyone's life, but you guys did great with that. It would be really cool to hear the song. I get that may be hard, but I'm just saying it sounds really cool. I also like the second verse, it really gets the reader/listener into the story.

As the song goes on it goes deeper and deeper into a story. Songs like that are hard to come by, especially in this day and age. Most people just repeat one word through the whole song, and there is nothing to follow.

What's also cool about this is that there are multiple singers (well would be if it was a true song). It would give the song more dynamic. Anyway, I'll be checking out your accounts.

Great job!




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Tue Nov 19, 2019 5:44 am
KatjaDawn wrote a review...



Hey EverLight, LokiRagnarok, & StarLord~

Katja here to review your lyrics. As with all of my reviews please feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions I make if you find them unhelpful. That being said, let's get into the review!

Overall Thoughts

Overall I like that the lyrics pair with a tune- it helped me to imagine the intended rhythm for your song. I listened to it as I read through and tried to grasp the full vision you all had for these lyrics.

The meaning itself seems to be deeply rooted pain from a past the narrator is unable to escape- athough time moves forward they are running from their life, their dreams, their hopes. That could be WAY off but that's how I interpreted it~

I particularly liked the last two major lines, they really wrap up the piece nicely and maintain the repeated idea that time is moving forward and the narrator is left in "the eternal" with the *conflict* they are dealing with.

The great clock of time, ticks on and on

and I'm crying out for mercy amidst the eternal....


Suggestion

I noticed the lyrics didn't have a rhyme scheme and the overall rhythm seemed off, to me. I think a rhyme scheme or closer attention to the rhythm of the lyrics would really help bring the piece together with the music it is paired with. This isn't an error at all- Just my opinion~

That's all I have for suggestions!

Summary

I like these lyrics a lot and the song "clocks" has a nice tune that matches the overall theme of your lyrics nicely! I like the depth within the lyrics themselves as well.

My favorite lines were:

Confusion clouds my mind and I'm lost in thoughts

Praying that my hurt should come to end


I feel like they really stood out to me. The idea of getting lost in your thoughts and praying for the pain they cause to end... Is something a lot of people can relate to, sadly. Anyway, nicely done and I look forward to reading more of your work soon! I hope my review was helpful~

Keep Writing,

~Katja




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Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:02 pm
JabberHut wrote a review...



Hey, you guys!

It's so much fun writing lyrics when music smacks you with that kind of inspiration. I love the song Clocks by Coldplay, and I would have REALLY loved to hear these lyrics put to the music! I like how you keep the idea of a ticking clock in your piece to draw the correlation with the passing of time.

You also maintain this theme of an internal struggle between two very opposing factors that are tearing up the speaker. I like that the lyrics themselves maintain this aloofness about it, this emotion of confusion and helplessness and feeling overwhelmed with what life brings the speaker.

I had a little difficulty lining this up with Clocks musically and the rhythm kind of lost on me, so definitely pay attention that the rhythm makes sense with the music. I notice there's no rhyme scheme, which is fine, even though Clocks does have a rhyme scheme, which is a notable difference and simply requires extra attention that the music and lyrics both flow well enough together.

There was also one verse that had me kind of confused, but it could just be me and would require other opinions to verify. The verse alluding to the idea of a shooting star felt out of place to me. It seemed like it contradicted itself as the stanza started out with losing hope, but ends with the idea of reaching for a shooting star which is the exact opposite, in my mind.

I like what you have, though. I can tell you guys were really inspired by this piece, and that's really fantastic! Keep up the good work, and maybe you guys will become lyricists or even parody lyricists yourselves! :D

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!




EverLight says...


Thanks for your review!




Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
— Henry David Thoreau