The Confession

Zachery had a violent father.

Everyone knew that, the teachers, the police, even the women who ran the sweet shop down little lane. The funny thing was that no one did anything about it because truth be told, they were all afraid of him. Zach didn't blame them, his father was one hell of a scary guy. It didn't matter though, not really. Zach just learned to live with the occasional punch and the constant screams of his mother.

It was actually happening now, dad had obviously been drinking and he'd come home staggering through the door. It was disgusting, the man couldn't even keep his own footing. It was 8:30 in the bloody morning. Zach had been in the kitchen when he heard the door open. When he saw his father, he didn't even say a word. He sent a silent prayer up to heaven for his mother who whimpered when she saw him, and walked as fast as he could up the stairs pretending to be busy.

That's when the screaming started.

He blocked it out the best way he could, he turned his music on, shut his eyes and hid under the bed. He hated it, he hated the fact he was acting like a 12 year old hiding under his bed after a bad dream. This was no bad dream. This was real. But what did it matter? He was 17 years old yet look at him. That was the most disgusting thing about the situation. He heard a smash of glass and held his ears tighter. Once, he would have gone downstairs to try and stop it, but it wouldn't make anything better. In fact, it just made it worse. So his mother had told him to leave his father too it. Zach listened to his mother, if he didn't, he didn't want to think about what would happen to him.

When everything went suddenly quiet. Zach quickly and silently got up from under his bed and picked up his bag from under the window. He then opened the window and hoisted himself onto the pane. He threw his bag onto the grassy ground below and jumped. He swung himself on the nearest tree branch and he slowly managed to throw himself down the tree and into the safety of the street. He knew he was supposed to run, but he couldn't. Not without a look. Keeping his head down, he sneaked under the window pane in front of the house, and quickly stole a peek through the window. He wished he hadn't. His mother was hoisted over the kitchen sink being sick as his father screamed at her. He didn't write down what he said, and he didn't want to remember. He didn't need to hear anymore.

Zach gathered up his belongings and went to the one place where he felt safe.

Anywhere near Lucas.

Zach had gone through primary school as being the little weird kid that all the other parent's used to talk about and tut at. He made one friend in Primary school, and as you can properly tell, that person was Lucas. Lucas had always been a bit of a scrawny kid, pitch black hair and golden eyes, he was skinny yet muscular and had glasses. He basically was and still is the most nerdiest looking kid you could ever think of. That didn't stop him from being handsome though, Lucas was gorgeous. During high school Zachery had turned into one of those cliché bad boys  that all the girls had swarmed over. Lucas had just stayed the same. Zach dated a couple of girls on the Cheerleading team and that was when the confusion started.

He never like any of them.

As a matter of fact, none of them did anything for him.

He knew the girls were supposed to be beautiful. All the guys had said so, but Zach never saw it.

He tried dating other girls, girls that weren't as beautiful  as the other guys said, but Zach didn't see anything in them either.

No, Zach couldn't stop comparing them to Lucas. What was wrong with him? Why was he so obsessed with Lucas? There was only one answer to that question. One answer that didn't just bring an epiphany of self recognition. It destroyed him. There were only two people that knew Zachery's secret; one was his mother, and the other was Lucas himself.

The secret seems to be very obvious now, so I'll leave you to figure it out.

Zach felt angry all of a sudden, he sometimes felt this way. I suppose it's just teenage boys and their hormones, but Zach suddenly threw his bag on the floor in dismay. He instinctively kicked it away from him and growled angrily. He felt his rage just bubbling up inside him making his throat close and his eyes water. Why did everything that could go wrong in someone's life happen to him? Was it his fault? What had he done wrong? This is how Zach saw it, this is what many teenage gays and abused children think. You have no idea what's going on in someone's head and life. Think about that the next time you call someone a vulgar name for their sexuality.

"Whoa, Zach, what's the matter love? Is everything okay?" Zachery looked up to see Mrs Dirt, ironically six inches in dirt. She had obviously been doing the gardening. Zach didn't realize how close he had been to Lucas's house. He felt a little embarrassed but didn't show it, he quickly picked up his bag from the floor and steadied himself. No more explosions today. 
"Yes everything is fine Mrs. Dirt, is Lucas in?" Mrs Dirt laughed lovingly. She was a wonderful woman, and someone Zach's mother would have liked to spend time with. They were nearly the same the two of them, both the same age, with blondish hair. The only difference is Mrs Dirt had golden eyes and his mother had blue, just like his own. 
"How many times Zach. Call me Judith! No, I'm afraid, Lucas has gone out sweetheart. You can come in for a coffee, he should be back soon." Zach was going to decline but Mrs Dirt insisted. Lucas's home was beautiful, in that corny sort of American way. Floral curtains and funiture and no matter where you stood in the house, the sun seemed to touch every corner. When Zach made it into the kitchen he saw Mr. Dirt come down the stairs. Mr. Dirt had been like a father to him, he had taught him how to play football, how to ride a bike, how to fish and he took Zach to his first baseball game down in Boston. Mr. Dirt was a huge fan of The Red Soxs.
"Nice to see you Zach, not so very nice to see your report card." Zach's head snapped up. 
"What do you mean?" Zach answered shortly, he suddenly felt an arm on his shoulder as Mrs. Dirt passed him a coffee and pushed him downwards to sit. Report cards became electronic a few months ago, which meant they would be posted onto the school's website with a special password so only the parent's could see. It was to stop kids from not giving their parent's their report cards. This however meant that Zach couldn't reach them, he didn't have a computer and his mother wasn't allowed to leave the house to get to a computer, so it kinda worked out good in the end. His father couldn't get angry about something he didn't see. Anyway Zach normally got As or Bs, what was the problem? 
"I thought the school told you?" Mr. Dirt answered. 
"Yeah well, I'm often left out of things." Zach answered shortly. 
"Come off it sulky." Mrs Dirk said washing her hands in the sink.
'The school saw your parent's haven't looked at your report card for over six months, and lets be honest, I doubted your father even cared."
"Mr. Dirt!" Mrs. Dirk said outraged. 
"Come on Judith, let's just be clear with ourselves. We all know his father is a bum that beats his wife and properly, god save him, has touched our Zach. Just because the bloody police won't do anything about it. The lazy bastards. I should go over there and give him a piece of my mind."
"Oh sure," Zach said conversationally, "He would totally take a piece of your mind... When he smashes your head on the table and rips out a piece of your brain."

"Wait a minute," a husky voice from behind him spoke up. Zachery felt his heart hammer harder into his chest hearing that voice. Oh, for god's sake stop being such a  girl. "Whose is going to rip out my dad's brain?" Zach turned and watched Lucas walk into the room. Lucas had dirt on his face and was wearing a white undershirt coated in sweat and grease. 
"Whose car did you fix today?" Mr. Dirt demanded. "You were supposed to do mine."
"Yeah, but Mr. Dillroide pays me and gives me extra credit so..." Lucas pushed his glasses up further up his face and sat down next to Zach. Whom moved a seat away. 
"What?" Lucas asked, then lifted up his arm to smell his armpit. "I don't smell that bad."
"You're revolting." 
"Oh come on, you didn't even notice I got new glasses! Look ray-bands, doesn't that suddenly make me cool?" He asked with general interest. 
"No." 
"Oh for heaven's sake Lucas, take a shower!" His mother demanded picking him up by the arms. Lucas stuck his tongue out playfully to his mother;
"Suit yourself mum." He deliberately banged every step on  the staircase with a giggle.

***

Zach cradled his second coffee in his hands and looked at the lock. 9:30 in the morning, crap, they had missed the start of school.
"There's no point going into school today." Mr. Dirt said shaking his head. "You might as well stay here. Anyway, before we were rudely interrupted by Lucas, I got your report card." Zach raised an eyebrow and Mr. Dirt opened his mouth to carry on but a loud banging of plates demanded their attention. They turned to look at Mrs. Dirt who had dropped all the dishes from the sink onto the floor. Her golden eyes were wide and staring at Zach. 
"Judith are you okay?" Asked Mr. Dirt with a surprised voice as he bent down to salvage the plates that could be saved from the fate of the junkyard. 
"I am certainly not okay. Zachery Black what is that on your neck?" Oh, great caught red handed. "Is that... Is that a tattoo?" Suddenly Mr. Dirt straightened up, the dishes forgotten and angrily pulled down Zach's jumper. Sure enough they both gasped as they stared at the snake that went from Zach's hip all the way to his earlobe. "Oh my god Zachery Black I am going to kill you!"

***

Zach waited for Lucas to finally come down the stairs, and thankfully, when he did Zach huffed a breath of release. Mrs. Dirt hadn't stopped shouting at him. 
"I cannot believe you went and got a tattoo! That will stay on your skin for the rest of your life! What about when your 50, hum? Do you think you will like that thing then?"
"Oh look Lucas is here, see you later Mrs. Dirt, Mr. Dirt." He quickly walked passed her and yanked Lucas along with him. 
"See ya mum!" Lucas yelled. It was returned by:
"I cannot believe you Zach! When you come back I'm going to kill you. I'm actually going to kill you!" 
"They found out about your tattoo I'm guessing?" Lucas commented with a laugh.

***

The boys ended up going on a hike to the top of Mt. Jimeron. At the top they sat on the nearest bench. 
"Damn, I wish I bought my camera, look at the view in comparison with the sun." Said Zach, he heard Lucas give a shaky laugh. Lucas had been oddly quiet for the last half 'n' hour and Zach thought he knew what it was. Lucas was normally quiet when he had something on his mind. "What's the matter with you?" He asked, "Is everything alright, you seem a little quiet."
"No, no, I'm fine." I'm fine in Lucas's book was: 'I need to talk.'
"Come on dude, don't make me force it out of you."
"Dude...what kind of gay guy says dude?" Zach mouth opened in shock as he turned to Lucas whose face suddenly went white. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that... I-" 
"Yes, you did, you meant it and that's fine."
"No, it's not Zach. Listen, you told me you were gay, what, 2 months ago? And that was it. You told me you were gay and you said nothing else. What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't understand."
"You don't have to understand anything.
"So what? You woke up one day and decided to be gay?
"Yes." 
"Really?" Answered Lucas genuinely.
"No! I didn't decide to be gay, I was born gay! What's wrong with you? You think I chose this? You think I want to be like this?"
"Well how was I suppose to know? You're the only gay person I've met! And you never talk to me."  
"Fuck that shit man. Mr. Jeremy that lives on July lane is a complete bender."                                                                                       
"He's married."
"Oh yeah, that totally means you're not gay." Zach got up angrily and started to descend the mountain.
"THAT'S IT? YOU'RE GOING TO RUN AWAY ZACH. LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! YOU'RE JUST GONNA BURY YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND AND PRETEND IT'S NOT HAPPENING!" Zach turned around and raced back up the hill. Lucas stood his ground as Zach shook him by the shoulders.
"What did you just say to me?" He growled.
"What are you going to do Zach. Hit me? Like your dad does." Zach nearly exploded. He punched Lucas squarely in the face and watched as he fell to the floor. There was complete silence for a moment, a moment that seemed to go on forever in Zach's mind. Lucas eventually gathered himself up and used his hand to smudge the blood on his lip. 

"Well, you certainly showed me Zach." He finally said. He got up slowly and his golden eyes seemed to pierce Zach's soul. A soul that was currently hurting. Then something flew into Zach's mind from nowhere, it filled up his head and would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. Lucas had never looked so beautiful, never. He never looked so strong, so determined, so lovely before. It almost took Zach's breath away. Zach, if it was even possible, loved him more from that moment on. "Why are you looking at me like that? Stop looking sorry." Lucas said shattering the silence and the utopia of Zach's thoughts. 
"If I told you something, could we not fight anymore?" Zach said it softly. It didn't come out the way he wanted, his voice was chipped with nervousness and anxiety. 
"Zach, this is what I've been trying to bloody say! Talk to me! " The silence then rang throughout the forest below. Zach felt the whole world deteriorate around him. It's just you and Lucas, It's just you and Lucas.

"I think... No, I know. I'm in love with you Lucas Dirt."


- If you would like me to post the other 2 parts, just leave a comment below... thank you! xxxx