542 Days

- I know this is long - However, please spend the time to read it :) - Thank you all xxxx Evens x



The sound was one that created hope, passion and for people to party harder. Obviously, that’s what a DJ did. But I had no idea someone could be so good. Like seriously, the guy was like some sort of DJ God.

I sat on the bar stool staring up at the DJ as he worked his magic. It felt like it was magic; the definition of magic being: the art of producing illusions by the use of hand, deceptive devices, etc. And that is what he did, no questions asked. This guy was taking names. Not that I have the dictionary memorized, it’s just so much easier to read Shakespeare plays and know what the hell the guy is on about. The words he uses are exhausting.

I literally sat in that bar stool for so long my butt made an imprint in the leather. Incredibly embarrassing, especially when the guy, who I swear looked exactly like Zac Efron, sits beside you and sees you get up. The Zac-Efron-lookalike obviously thought it was hilarious. He made sure all of his friends saw. Totally cringe worthy.

Anyway ignoring the Zac-Efron-lookalike-mean-pants, I made my way to the furthest side of the dance floor (the other half had seen the butt imprint incident), and sat close by Jem, best friend/erratic freak thing. We were at one of the best nightclubs in the whole of New York and she’s in bright yellow leggings and a Marilyn Manson T-shirt. Total outfit price: $3. Still, she had almost all the guys around her who liked that sort of thing. You know the type. Girls that are so completely and utterly weird that you can’t help but love them. 

She spotted me and called me over. I pushed my way through the crowd while trying desperately not to make contact with anyone who might have seen The butt Incident and sat down next her. She was in the process of a very heavy drinking card game. Wait, oh no, they were playing strip poker. Jem turned to me with an expression of innocence.

“I think they’re cheating so I’ll lose.” I rolled my eyes at her. If they weren’t then they were idiots.

My phone vibrated in my clutch and I brought it out. It was a reminder.

 

ENGLISH LIT FINAL IN TWO DAYS! REVISE! REVISE! REVISE!

 

I almost died. I had completely forgotten. I got up so quickly that I spilled Jem’s bottle of tequila all over the table and very nearly caused a riot. “That’s it little miss clumsy, you owe me and all the boys here another bottle of tequila… And not the shit kind.” I tried to protest.

First of all, I had spent half my money getting into the club, and then the other half drinking myself into oblivion. Tonight was supposed to be a night for yours truly. I got dumped. Sad right? I know. Who would possibly dump me? Apparently I’m over bearing. It’s not my fault he never answered to any of my 500 texts! Second of all, I was an emotional wreak and I tried to explain my English Lit final. She would have none of it. “Go and get me tequila and then you can do whatever you want.” So there it was.

I went back to the bar, and I thought Gods good grace was shining down on me. Zach-Efron-the-butt-imprint-guy was gone and I was free from humiliation. I asked for one bottle of tequila and five glasses. The bar man was quick as a flash and came back with a smile.

“You have one sexy butt imprint.” He laughed.

 I did die.

Well, a social death.

The music suddenly changed from Dreamwave to Hip Hop and I made my way through the crowd uneasily. The sudden change in the type of music had encouraged… let’s say… a different dance style. The glasses were slipping through my finger tips and someone tried to grab my tequila. I was totally not giving that away for free. As I reached a thinning in the crowd, I relaxed a little trying to latch on to the glasses but it was no use. One glass after the other plummeted to the floor. I put down the tequila on the nearest table and went down to pick up the pieces of glass.

A pair of retro Royal Elastics was covered in glass. Oh great, the day just got better and better. My eyes flickered over some light blue cute cropped trousers and a light gray polo, a little bit of stubble and a pair of beat headphones. The same pair the DJ had been wearing. I looked up into the bright green eyes I used to get lost in.

Oh god.

Dorian Foster.

 

542 days before

 

I sat uncomfortably between Jem and her new boyfriend as they ate each other’s faces on the train. My god, it was like they were having some kind of six course meal. Everyone was looking, even the women that sit at the back and the man that always seems to have an umbrella when it’s not raining. Jem had dragged me to a stupid night club in New York because her boyfriend had some sort of cleaning job in the hotel next door. Glamorous right? Jem always chooses the keepers.

After trying to look away and scurry to the end of my seat so no one would think I knew them, I made eye contact with a pair of large green eyes. The boy with the dictograph R-1 headphones blushed and his eyes fell to the floor. He was cute. Light brown hair fell just slightly over his forehead; he bit his plush lips and flicked something on his portable CD player. He had a portable CD player? For some strange reason it just made him look cuter. He was wearing a bagged pair of jeans; a beanie hat that fell to the back of his head and a hoodie which read: “You! Yeah you! Women! Go make me a sandwich.”  Even though it was highly sexist I couldn’t help but giggle. When I did, his head snapped up as if he could hear me. He saw me looking at him and blushed again but smiled sweetly.

It was my turn to blush this time and I hid my face with my long dirty blond hair. Still I couldn’t help looking at him. For a while we sat like that just staring at each other and giggling. I finally caught a glimpse of Jem who raised her eyebrow at me. I shrugged at her, and she laughed gesturing lazily to the boy with the green eyes with her free hand.

“Why don’t you two just get a room and shut up.” I ignored her. When we reached our stop, I was a pinky close to not getting up and staying in my own little world with the boy and his green eyes. But couldn’t . Jem took me by the arm and hurled me off the train. The boy with the green eyes waved a little and then blood rushed to his cheeks. When I was on the platform I turned to the carriage window, and the boy with the green eyes looked through too. I gave him a silent goodbye as the train started off in its tracks.

 

515 days before

 

God. I was so bored.  No matter where I looked people were at each other like animals. I mean, I’m pretty and I’m not prude but this was highly inappropriate and embarrassing. So I just sat in the corner and watched as Jem, and her other new boyfriend go at it with each other. And then everyone else in the room seemed to do the same thing. Great.

I got a few looks when I reached for my trench coat and got myself the hell out of… what Jem called a party. It looked more like a porno to me. It was so cold, hell it was snowing! I had thought it was a good idea to wear a tight fitting cocktail dress and no tights. Yep, really intelligent Emily, really sophisticated. I could walk to the apartment but I didn’t want to risk getting into a fight with Jem. So I was going to walk around the block, just for some air.

Lost in my thoughts I bumped into someone and nearly knocked myself out cold. My heels slid on the ice and my head hit the floor. Ouch, I remember how sore that was. My whole brain just thumped and thumped, kind of like a hangover.

“Oh my gosh! Are you okay? I’m so sorry.” I groaned in response and let soft strong arms pull me up. I had problems keeping my footing on the ice and fell back onto the boy. He caught me. I turned to look at him and couldn’t believe it. It was the boy with the green eyes. The boy I hadn’t stopped thinking about for 27 days. I went red and his beautiful eyes widened. I fidgeted out of his grip and he steadied me. “You okay?” He asked. His voice was husky and low. My stomach burst into thousands of butterflies. I couldn’t believe it was him. Him, him, him! The boy with the green eyes, the boy who lightened her dreams, just him. I nodded shyly and shivered.

“Are you cold?” He asked. I looked up at him and I noticed little white snowflakes falling on top of his brown hair.

“You’re the boy from the train.” I suddenly blurted out. He looked down at me with a sheepish grin.

“And you’re the girl from the train.” He almost whispered it. I felt goose bumps immerge on my arms. I shivered again, but not from the cold.

“Are you going home?” He asked. I wasn’t going to, but I was now. I nodded sleepily and a huge gust of wind washed over us causing snowflakes to hit our faces like little needles. “You must be freezing. Come on, let me walk you home.” I watched as he took off his jacket and slipped it around my shoulders.

“No, no it’s cold. Keep your jacket on.” He smiled. Oh my god, he had dimples.

“It’s fine. I have a hoodie.” I remembered his comedy hoodie from the train and looked down again, to see if it was the same one. It wasn’t. “I’m Cool – Like the other side of the pillow.” I laughed.

“What is it?”

“How many hoodies do you own?”

“A lot.” I laughed again.

He was so sweet, so precious. He walked next to me, and laughed at all my terrible jokes. He made me feel safe; the butterflies were cascading from my stomach to my throat. I felt numbly nervous.

“Do you live close by?” I asked before putting my key in the door.

“Well, a half an hour train journey. I work down in the record shop on west Fleet Street.”

“Oh, I know that place! I walk past there when I go to Uni.”

“You go to NJCU?” He asked sounding impressed.

“Yup. I’m majoring in English Lit.”

“Oh, what’s your minor?”

“Just history.”

“That’s pretty cool.” I looked up at him before I turned the key. His green eyes searched mine, he didn’t leave. He looked like he didn’t want to leave.

“Hey… I-” I couldn’t finish my sentence. His lips pressed against mine. It was only gentle and it wasn’t even a kiss. It was just a lip brush really but it made my whole stomach flip and for my butterflies to multiply by ten.

“I’m – I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that.” I reached out to him before he turned. Holding his hoodie in my hands, I was begging him not to leave.

“ No. No, it’s okay. It’s just… it’s just I don’t know your name.” He looked surprised but then smiled.

“Hello, my name is Dorian Foster.” He brought out his hand to shake mine.

“Well, Hello Mr. Foster. My name is Emily, Emily May.”

 

483 days before

 

“I love you.” I sat on the counter of Fleet Streets Records and watched as Dorian passed me a bag, a bag of records he had bought for me. These were not CDs. They were actually proper records. Though, I must say I wasn’t impressed at that moment in time. I was too busy looking into Dorian’s green eyes. He looked fierce and scared at the same time. His top wore the words: “I rule.” With a picture of a ruler with a smiley face underneath. His hat was currently on my head, and it suited me. I normally wore his clothes. They were baggy, cozy and most of all, they smelt like him. Cologne, soap and toothpaste.  

“Wh- What?” It was a whisper. He leaned in closer, his face inches from mine. He cupped my face in his hands and looked me right in the eyes. I felt stripped and bare, my secrets open to him.

“I. Love. You.” I cannot tell you how long I waited for him to say that. Wait, I can. 32 days. 32 long days. I couldn’t help myself. I kissed him fiercely, my passion crumbling into my mouth. I fisted my hands around his neck holding him closer to me. He grasped my shirt desperately like he wanted to pull it off, though he controlled himself. I wrapped my legs around his waist and I felt my whole insides burst with pleasure. Every cell, every part of my body tingling from his touch. In that moment, I knew it was meant to be. This was my man. Mine. Mine only. I couldn’t imagine him with any other girl. I couldn’t imagine being with any other guy. I pulled away reluctantly.

“I love you too.” I couldn’t see his reaction, he was already kissing me before the words had come out of my mouth.

“HEY! Get off my counter and get a room! Wait, don’t you even think about it. I’m not paying you for snogging girls no matter how hot!”

 

383 days before

 

“I never thought it could be this good. The soul, the rock. I will never go back to mainstream pop. Not when I know what’s out there now.” Dorian laughed and shrugged his arm around me. I watched as girl after girl shot me looks of envy. He’s mine. Hands off. He bent forward and kissed her forehead.

“You look sexy in that hoodie.” Dorian had bought me one of his famous one liner shirts. In fact, it was the cheesiest thing I had ever worn. It had an arrow pointing to him saying: I’m with Boyfriend. I  loved it though, and this one actually fitted me. I snuggled in closer to him, my head finding the spot in between his collarbone and neck where I fitted perfectly against him. Like he was my missing jigsaw piece.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked.

“Surprise.” He sang.

“I don’t like surprises.” I pouted.

“Don’t pout. You know what that does to me.” I giggled and brought my head up, pouting again.

“What? What does it do to you?” He growled. That was his sexy growl. I laughed at him again.

“Please, I don’t want to anything naughty on a public train.” I laughed again.

“What if I do?”

“Be patient. We’ll get to the hotel soon.”

“Hotel? I didn’t bring a change of clothes or anything.” He smiled, his grin taking up half his beautiful face.

“You won’t be needing clothes.”

***

I stood and looked at the big box that had New York Dress written up the side of it. My eyes also fell upon the beautiful dress that lay inside. My hand flew over my mouth as I stared at it. It was a beautiful dress, sophisticated. A deep blue color, like the ocean. It went all the way to the floor, ruffling like a waterfall. Little sequins outlined the bottom of the dress, twinkling like little stars.

“Do you like it?” A deep voice asked behind me. I turned towards Dorian, his green eyes worried.

“Do I like it?” I asked as I flung my arms around him. “I love it, Oh Dorian it’s beautiful.” He kissed my bare neck and swung me around.

“Well, I thought for where we’re going, you’re going to need something a little more sophisticated than my shirt.”

***

“The ballet! Swan Lake!” I stood outside the giant building, the wonderful historic building that stood before us. My mouth fell open, and I turned to him in his suite and colorful bow tie.

“If you don’t want to I can take you somewhere else.”

“My god Dorian!” I laughed my arms flinging around him. I caught the eyes of passers by who smiled sweetly at us. “I loved the dress, I love this you silly man! Oh, god.” I felt tears fill my eyes. He put me down on the floor, my new heels hit the ground carefully. His careful and sweet hand caressed my face and pulled a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Hey baby don’t cry. You’ll mess up your make-up.”

 

342 days before

 

I wanted to hit him, so bad. My hand actually flinched against my hip.

“Why are you doing this?” I almost screeched. “Just STOP! Just stop being such a prick!” Dorian laughed coldly and tensed his muscles as if too intimidated me.

“Me? A prick? No. You need to stop being so… so… upset! You're getting angry about nothing.”

“Nothing?” I found myself screaming. “Nothing? Your parents invite us out to dinner and tell me to- and I quote; ‘Get the hell away from my son.’ And I’m the bad guy?! All I wanted was for you to stick up for me. And you didn’t! You sat there and did nothing!”

“What was I supposed to say?” He roared.

“Err, No I love her! Or, hey I love her! Or, She’s a great person and I love her!” Dorian frowned.

“They know I love you.”

“Actually Dorian, I don’t think they do. You never invite me around with your friends, you never talk about your family with me- It’s like – It’s like you're ashamed of me. Like you don’t want to be seen with me! It’s embarrassing. It’s hurtful.” I went  into my bag and fumbled desperately to find the small key to his apartment. I couldn’t see properly, tears were blurring my vision.

“What – Emily, what are you doing?”

“Giving you back the key to your apartment. You won’t have to worry about being seen with me. It’s over.” I banged the key on the table and felt tears streaming down my face as I went to the door.

“No, Em - Em, come- Emily!” He grasped onto my coat and was pulling me back into the apartment.

“Dorian, Dorian let go! No!” I tried and tumbled out of his arms but he grasped me too tightly.

“You're not going anywhere! Nowhere, you're mine.” I tried to grasp on the door handle but he lifted me up and banged me down onto the coach. “That key is yours, do you hear me. I love you, and your not going anywhere. I’m sorry. You're right. I should have said something.” Then he kissed me with so much force that I crumpled into him completely, forgetting everything.

 

243 days before

 

“Do you have any idea how proud of you I am?” I asked lifting my head up to Dorians and kissing his forehead. “I know how hard it is. I’m so sorry.” He blinked his perfect green eyes and little tears trickled down his pale cheeks. I kissed them away. He wrapped his arms around me. He planted his head in my shoulder and he cried harder causing my ‘I’m with Boyfriend’ jumper to dampen. I didn’t care, I held him closer and kissed the top of his head. I put my hand through his dark hair and stroked him gently.

“Shh Dory, it’s okay.”

“I told him- I told him not to go. I told him.”

“I know, I know you did.”

“I told him he would die. So many people die.”

“I know, I know baby.”

“He was only eighteen Emily. He hurt no one.”

“Shh, Dory.”

“He was my little brother Emily. He’s gone forever.”

                                                                                       

190 days before

 

I was tipsy. No correction, I was drunk. Very drunk. I sat on the couch in my apartment and watched as Jem beat me to humiliation at Guitar Hero.

“So, I invited Callum Greene round.” She said nonchalantly.

“What?” I demanded. Callum Greene was my old, old boyfriend. Like high school senior prom old. I looked at Jem surprised.

“You invited him round! I didn’t even think he lived near here.”

“No, he lives near your Boyfriend/Husband.”

“Dorian is not my husband.”

“You’ve dated what? A year.”

“So what?” I slurred. She rolled her eyes.

“You're drunk. Want a beer?” I giggled and agreed. It wasn’t that late, maybe ten o’clock but I was celebrating. I had just finished a big History exam and was sure that I would totally ace it. The doorbell rang and Jem answered the door. Callum stood in the doorway grinning with a six pack of beer.

“So… Long time no see.”

***

“I’m going out!” Jem called from the side of the apartment. Callum was sitting next to me awkwardly, avoiding my eyes.

“What? Where?” I asked, “You have a lecture tomorrow morning. You asked me to remind you!” I protested. I so did not want to spend the night with Callum Greene.

“Yeah, but Josie called and he’s H.O.T.”

“Oh yeah, totally hot.” Callum laughed, winking at me. I gave a half hearted smile and turned away. Oh, I wish Dorian was here…Call Him!

“You don’t mind if I call someone do you?” I asked while typing, not really giving Callum a chance to agree.

“Erm, sure.”  He answere, Jem ran out of the apartment and the door slammed.

“Hey Dory!” I sang down the phone.

“Don’t call me that.” Dorian snapped.

“Oh, I’m sorry baby are you okay?”

“No, not really.” I bit my lip, a habit I picked up from Dorian.

“Oh, well, I was wondering if you wanted to come on down to my place?”

“No. I’m not in the mood at the moment.” Dorian put down the phone.

“That son of a female dog!” I growled, collapsing back onto the coach.

“Boyfriend troubles?” Asked Callum kindly.

“You bet. Dorian’s been such a bummer lately.”

“Wait Dorian? Dorian Fosters? That’s who your dating!”

“Yeah, why?”

“Dunno, I just live near him. He keeps to himself.”

“He’s a private person.” I snapped back annoyed.

“Uh sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“No, It’s fine. It’s just… he’s been so different since his brother died.” As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Not that his little brother's death was a secret, but the fact that I was talking to Callum about it.

“Oh, I’m sorry. He must be taking it hard.” Callum said kindly, getting closer to me. I didn’t like it. I felt uncomfortable.

“It’s going to take a while for him to get over it though. He’s been closed off.”

“Like when you dumped me.” I turned to him surprised, and he looked unhappy all of a sudden and took a long swing of his beer.

“That was a long time ago.” I said, trying to get away from him. He inched closer.

“Not really, just what? Two and a half years ago.” His hand touched mine and I flinched away.

“That is a long time ago Callum.” Callum shook his head, his black hair sagging around his head.

“Maybe for you. I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute of everyday I remember the pain of when you broke my heart,” I stared at him, shocked. “When I ran into Jem I thought it was my lucky day. I convinced her to let me see you. She’s a good friend. She said you wouldn’t really want to see me. But I turned on my charms.” He put down his drink and turned to me with hungry savage dark eyes.

“Callum.” I warned.

“I want you to know how I felt when you broke up with me.” Callum had a crazed look in his eyes when he kissed me. He tasted so much different to Dorian. He tasted like cigarettes and smoke. I tried to fight him off, but he grasped my hair and pulled it. Causing me to scream into his mouth.

“Callum, please don’t.” I begged. He ignored me, and went to my button on my jeans. I took this opportunity to bring my leg up and kick him but he grasped hold of it, putting me directly in-between his legs.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” Callum said simply, holding me by the arms and pressing them onto the couch.

“Harder than rape?” I sneered. He laughed and bent down kissing up my neck.

“It’s not rape if you enjoy it.” He whispered into my ears. He dragged the T-Shirt over my head and I yelped.

“No. Callum, for fucks sake stop. Please.” I fought against him but he was much too powerful. His large painter arms were too strong to push away. I was stuck, I couldn’t do anything but scream. But this was New Jersey, if someone screamed it could be a game of kiss chase or a shoot off. No one had any idea.

His touch was cold and rough along my skin, Dorians had always been soft and warm. I squirmed under him and he kissed down to my stomach. He had my hands above my head and I felt helpless. I became silent, what was the point? I stopped struggling too.

“That’s a good girl.” Callum cooed, I spat at him and he laughed as he went down to kiss me.

“Hey, er, Emily.” Callum stopped still. Dorian stood in the doorway with a white rose looking tired and disorientated as he looked around the room. When his eyes fell on Callum he dropped the rose and his eyes widened in surprise. Callum jumped off me and swallowed hard. Dorian didn’t look at him, he looked at me, betrayal in his eyes.

“Dorian, please. It’s not what it looks like.” I begged forgetting about dumbass Callum.

“It's not-” He repeated. He looked dazed as he pivoted on his toes and walked out of the room.

“No! Dorian, wait.” Completely forgetting I was in a bra, I ran out into the landing, trampling on the white rose that Dorian had brought for me. He was halfway down the first flight of stairs and I yelped after him. “Dorian please! Please wait.” He turned sharply.

“Wait? Wait for what?” He shouted, the sound vibrating against the walls.

“An explanation! It wasn’t-” The sound came out like an agonized puppy getting into trouble.

“It wasn’t what it looked like? Really? Well, it wasn’t me. It was you.” I stopped still as he started to descend the rest of the stairs.

“What does that mean?” I said it so quietly I didn’t think he would hear. He did, and didn’t look back.

“What do you think?” He growled.

 

 90 days before

 

“You need to snap out of this.” Jem said antagonized. “Come on girl, you need to stop now.” I looked up at Jem as she sat down on my bed. I had Dirty Dancing on repeat. She turned off the telly.

“Hey!” I retaliated. “I was watching that.”

“Well, you’ve watched it enough don’t you think?”

“You can never watch Dirty Dancing too many times.”

“Yes, well, when you’ve watched it 96 times it becomes a problem.”

“Hey! 86 times actually.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll be sure to get it right next time.” Jem rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m so sorry Ems.” She breathed. “I should never have invited Callum around. He just seemed so… nice.”

“Yeah, he did that on purpose.”  I said bitterly, cuddling my blanket closer to me.

“I went to see Dorian yesterday, with the key you gave me.” Jem whispered slowly. I nearly jumped out of bed.

“What- What did he say?”

“Well, that’s the thing. He wasn’t there. The neighbor said he moved. I found this…” She went into her pocket and brought out Dorian’s phone. “It was in the trash can.” I took the phone off her.

49 missed calls

23 messages

All from her. She couldn’t stop her tears this time.

Dorian was gone.

Gone forever.

 

Present

 

I sat uncomfortably in the diner, and cradled the coffee in my hands. I stared into the black gloomy darkness and thought how happy it would be just to stick my head inside it and drown. Drowning in coffee doesn’t sound that bad.

“What are you thinking about?” Dorian asked curiously, sadness was ringed around his eyes.

“Drowning in coffee.” I answered honestly.

“You would always say the strangest of things when I asked you that question.” Dorian signed, not catching my eyes. I wasn’t sure whether I was angry or happy to see him. He broke up with me and it hadn’t been entirely my fault, though again, how was he supposed to know I hadn’t kicked it with Callum on purpose? I shrugged. No one spoke for a while, we just sat there staring at our coffees.

“You’re an amazing DJ.” I said, filling up the the blank space between us. He looked up and caught my eyes for the first time. Oh, how I love his amazing green eyes. He blushed, just like the night on the train. He then shrugged, trying to cover up his embarrassment.

“I do gigs here and there. Since I moved to New York, I’ve gotten real jobs.” I bit my lip. And looked down at the hoodie he put on when they had walked out of the club which read: I’m cooler than everybody here.

“When you first broke up with me,  I sat on the counter in Fleet Street records just in case you came in. It wasn’t until I saw your phone in the trash of your old apartment that I finally let go of the idea you were coming back for me.” Right, well done Emily. You just made the silence even more unbearable than before.  I felt tears creeping into my eyes. Why did he invite me for a coffee? Was it just to rub it in my face that he was happy while I was only getting by? I put down my coffee and went for my jacket. “Is there a reason you invited me here? Or was it just for a friendly chat because I don’t really feel like one right now.”

“Jesus Christ Emily, sit down. I’m not running after you.” I turned to him, suddenly angry.

“I don’t want you to. Seriously, who do you think you are?”

“Don’t act like the victim Emily, now sit down.”

“I’m not your slave, you will ask me politely or I’m not sitting down at all.” His jaw was set in a tight line.

“Emily will you please sit down.” I nodded and sat, noticing the whole diner had its eyes on us.

“What?” I demanded.

“Don’t be so childish.” He answered anguished.

“I’m not childish, your just a dodo head.” Then suddenly, he laughed. His laugh was like music to my ears, lighting up my senses. My body seemed to recognize it as his. I almost wanted to smile at the memories of his laughter that I had locked up in my head. 

 “I think I have that on a T-shirt somewhere.” He said, turning the coffee around in his large turntable hands.

“You do. It’s hung up in my wardrobe. As well as your I’m a Ninja and I don’t get drunk I get awesome T-shirts.” He was silent.

“You kept them?” He asked slowly, I nearly got lost in his eyes. I forced myself to look at the floor.

“Yes.” No, I didn’t just keep them. I sleep with them on, and then cry in them sometimes.

“Well, I have your blue blouse, your green sweater and your brown converses.” I stared at him for a moment, and he grimaced. “Why’d you cheat on me?” He asked. “I’ve always wondered, was it something I did? Was it the phone call? I was coming to apologize for being an ass you know, it’s why I had the rose.”

“I did not cheat on you.” I exclaimed, aspirated. He sighed and looked hurt. He thought I was lying. “I am not lying to you! I used to date this guy called Callum in high school and he was messed up because I dumped him. He was going to rape me if you hadn’t come in and scared him off. I told him no, I screamed the place down for ages but no one was coming. I thought I was alone.” Tears pricked my eyes as I thought about it. He had been so rough, I had bruises on my wrists from where he held me days after. Dorian stayed silent. “You’d have known if you hadn’t cut me off, changed your address, your number, you must think me really low to do all that just to get away from me.”

“I was going to ask you to marry me. I loved you so much and then I saw him all over you. I thought - I just assumed the worst.”

“You assumed the worst of me.” I said, tears tumbling freely down my face. “And just so you know, I love you. I always will, I always have. I dated once, and I was so paranoid he was going to cheat on me that I wouldn’t stop texting him. We lasted a week before he dumped me in the public grounds. You would have loved to see the show.” I got up from my seat, and ran out into the cold night air. I felt someone grasp my jacket and hurdle me into them. I turned to see a pair of green eyes looking at me with a urgent expression.

His lips touched mine and my heart exploded in my chest. This was what I had been waiting for, the urgency of his mouth, the way his hands explored me as he lifted me up and swung me around. He finally put me down and let go of me. I never kept my eyes off his. He went to pull a necklace out of his jumper. At the end of the necklace a little diamond ring glittered in the moonlight.

“Marry me Emily.” He whispered. “Make me the happiest man in the world.”