The Return of Magic: Part One Chapter Seven: Kalihr

by Europa

Published November 13, 2015

12+ Violence

In Return of Magic

Avalon skidded to a halt as he ran towards Casey. Why hadn't he recognized him before? 

"Kalihr." He growled.

The white haired Drow tuned from Casey and sheathed his sward. 

"Avalon! After all these years. Look how much you've grown!" Kalihr said with mock cordiality. "What's the matter? Didn't you recognize me? I guess I've grown up a little too. "

Avalon scowled at his old friend. "What are you doing, Kalihr? What is all this?"

Kalihr held up one hand, and instantly the army of hostile Mages stopped fighting.

"You mean all this?" He said, gesturing to his army. "This is my movement, Avalon. This is the Order, and we are doing what the Guild never did. We're fighting."

Avalon stood shocked. So he'sd actually gone and done it. 

He'd started a war.

A small girl with white-blonde hair approached the Drow.

"Sir what will we do with them?"

Kalihr waved a hand dismissively. "Nothing. we'll retreat for now."

The other girl looked surprised. "But sir-"

"Don't question me! We are merely here to pass a message." 

He addressed Avalon once again, smiling wide enough to show his dangerously sharp fangs.  "Tell your pathetic Guild that I'm back, and I'm going to bring them to ruin."

And with that, Kalihr and his army faded back into the shadowed streets. 

                                                          ...........


Avalon wasted no more time dwelling on his former friend's ominous words, and again made his way to Casey, who was still kneeling with Landon clasped in her arms. He battled down the shock and betrayal he felt rising within him, and settled himself beside Casey. The rest of the group had gathered around her, but not even Adrin's expert healing could revive the dead.

"Casey, I need you to put Landon down." Avalon said. 

Casey clutched her brother closer to her and Avalon laid a hand in her shoulder.  Casey looked up at him. The pain that showed in her face pierced Avalon, cutting deeper than any knife.

"Casey," he purred " let him go."

She held his gaze for a moment before laying Landon back down on the asphalt. Avalon laid his hands gingerly over Landon's heart, then, summoning as much energy as he could muster, poured it into Landon's body. Gradually, Avalon felt Landon's skin heat up beneath his hands. His arms began to tremble with strain, and he could feel Landon's heart begin to stutter back to beating. 'Almost....there!'  Avalon urged himself. Landon's chest began to rise and fall steadily, and only then did Avalon allow himself to collapse.

......

Landon blinked open his eyes, and the first thing he noticed was the pain. It burned like nothing he had ever felt before. He became aware of some sort of weight on his chest next. Avalon was laying sprawled across him. 

'Uh, okay. What'd I miss?' Landon thought. Ingred drew Avalon off Landon.

Casey flung herself forward, wrapping her arms tightly around him and sobbing into his shirt. Landon ignored the pain in his gut and returned his sister's desperate embrace. "Shhhh... It's okay, Case, you're okay. I'm alright. Everything's okay, it's over now." He murmured into her ear. 

Adrin shot him a sharp look. "You're far from alright, Landon. You got seriously injured in that battle."

Landon looked over Casey's shoulder at him. "It feels like it. What happened to me?"

Adrin lowered his eyes, Landon's brow furrowed. "Adrin? What happened to me?"

"You died." He said quietly. "If it weren't for Avalon..."

Landon first looked dumbly at Adrin, then turned his stricken gaze to Avalon, who was just beginning to come around.

Casey pulled away from him, wiping tears from her eyes.

Landon tried to sit up and instantly regretted it. The pain burned up his chest and black spots danced in his vision. He laid back down, biting back the cry of pain on his tongue. 

"I...what?" He croaked strickenly. "Th-that's impossible!"

"You'd be surprised." Adrin replied gravely.

Avalon sat up, leaning against Ingred for support. "We need to get to the Guild."

"Let me heal Landon first."

Avalon shook his head. "Not out in the open. It's too risky. The Order may have gone, but those RedCloaks may have reported the sounds of combat to the Myth Hunters. That, or they're coming here themselves. We need to go. Now." 

Adrin nodded, and with Iris's help, lifted Landon form the ground.

With the injured Mage supported between the two Paladins, the six kids made their way slowly down the strech of sidewalk back to the alleyway.

                                                                     ..........

Avalon had claimed he was strong enough to walk on his own, but Ingred stayed near him in case he needed her support again. The sun was just beginning to rise as the Mages limped into the alley, staining the sky orange.

As they neared the end of the narrow backstreet, Avalon and Adrin both drew a curious gold coin form their pockets.

It was small and engraved with and Intricate letter M. 

"Iris, Casey, Ingred, Grab onto Adrin or me. Without a key, you cant get into the Guild without being in direct contact with one of us." Avalon commanded. 

Ingred grabbed the hood of his windbreaker, which was torn and bloody form the night's battle.

Casey and Iris held onto either of Adrin's shoulders.

The twins pressed the coins to the wall, which began to ripple and shimmer as if it were made of water. The young Mages plunged into the gateway, and Ingred heard Iris giggle. 

"It tickles!" She laughed.

                                                    ..........

As it turns out, the sight of  a Paladin with a wounded Mage had the same effect as an ambulence siren. As Iris, Adrin, and Casey rushed through the immense chamber chamber full of Mages, people dove out of the way as if Landon's injury was contagious. 

Casey longed to explore, but she couldn't bring herself to leave her brother's side. 

Adrin and Iris strode into a brightly lit room with beds lining the walls.

'This must be the infirmary.' Casey determined. 

"Get Nique in here. I need to speak to her." Adrin ordered a smaller boy in white robes. Casey was surprised by the authority in his voice.

"Yes sir!" the boy said, and rushed off to carry out the task.

'Sir?'

Adrin laid Landon on one of the beds, and Casey took the time for the first time since the battle to really study Adrin. She had been more focused on Landon for the most part, and hadn't noticed much else.

Now that she was actually paying attention to the Paladin, Casey notice that Adrin's clothes had changed. Magic, most likely.

He was now wearing long robes. White like the other boy's, but unlike the boy's robes, the cuffs of Adrin's robed were embroidered with blue thread. In addition to the robes, Adrin had on a pair of black leggings and boots.

Casey thought back to the battle in the lot.

The man giving the commands had been wearing robes with red designs sewn on them. 

"So are you the leader?" She asked Adrin.

"Me? I'm second in command. Nique's the one who leads the Paladins."

As if on cue, the door to the infirmary flew open, and a tall girl with a serious looking face stormed in.

'She sure has cool hair.' Was Casey's first thought. 

Her sleek auburn hair was cut in an uneven bob, the bangs dyed electric blue.

Her golden eyes were keen and piercing like an eagle's.

She wore white robes like Adrin's, but hers were embellished with golden thread instead of blue, and were much more richly decorated than Adrin's

There were two swards strapped to her back.

"Nique." Adrin greeted the Paladin leader.

'That chick's a Paladin?!' Casey stared at Nique once more. she had thought all Paladins were as gentle looking as Iris and Adrin, but this girl looked as far from gentle as Avalon.

"Avalon and I brought in some new Mages, but we ran into some trouble along the way."

Nique's scowl deepened. "What kind of trouble?" She demanded. her voice was as commanding as her appearance.

"The kind that takes a lot of explaining." Adrin replied. "I'l elaborate later, but there was a fight, and Lnadone here got badly injured."

Niques scowl disappeared. "I'll see what I can do." 

Nique cut Landon's shirt away with a knife she pulled form a small sheath Casey hadn't noticed before.

'How many blades does she have on her?'

Niques hands glowed with Paladin light, and she laid it on the gash.

Nothing happened.

Alright. Time to elaborate." Nique ordered Adrin.

Avalon's voice cut unexpectedly into the scene.

"The sward he was stabbed with was inlaid with dragon bones."

Casey jumped and made a sound like a startled kitten. She whirled around to find Avalon leaning against the doorway.

"Does he always do that?" Casey gasped, putting a hand over her racing heart.

Adrin and Nique didn't seem fazed by his sudden appearence.

"Yep. All the time." Nique confirmed Casey's question.

"Almost on a daily basis." Adrin added.

Avalon just shrugged.

"Wait. Wait, waita second. How do you know about the sward?" Nique inquired.

Avalon's expression darkened slightly. 

"Because the person who attacked Landon was Kalihr."

Nique's eyes widened. 

"Not possible! I thought he was dead!"

"So did I, but he's not. And to make matters worse, he's not on our side anymore."

Casey cut in at this point in the conversation, quite fed up with being confused.

"Could someone explain to me who this Kalihr guy is? I mean, he's obviously the guy leading the Order, but who is he?"

                                             ..........

As Adrin and Nique dressed Landon's wounds, Avalon explained the history of Kalihr to Casey.

"Back when Adrin and I were still apprentices, Kalihr was second in command of the Necromancers. He was cunning, strong, and one of our greatest Mages, but he was also brash and extremely stubborn. 

He demanded we go to war against the Myth Hunters, but none of the leaders would agree.

"One day he and a group of Mages who agreed with him went out to fight the Myth Hunters, and none of them ever came back. We assumed they had been killed. Until now."

Nique looked up from bandaging Landon.

"Avalon, are you going to be alright?" she asked.

"Yeah. Fine. I'd better go check on Ingred." 

                                                  ........

As Avalon exited the infirmary, he tried to push down the feelings that threatened to consume him.

On his shoulder, Calemnvir gave a sympathetic meow.

'Lonnie, we both know you're not okay. You and Kalihr were...close.'

'He was like a father to me, Cal. But he's become a threat to the Guild and the Necromancers. It's my job as leader to make sure they're protected. If it comes to the point where I have to face him, I won't hold back.'

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Europa
Comment
Europa commented Comment · Jun 13, 2017

Dear fourteen year old self. You're better than this.

User avatar
Chaser
Review
Chaser wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2015

Apologies and happy Review Day!

Beginning with plot, this story seems to flow pretty well. While Kalihr's message is a little predictable (I mean, he's the enemy, and Avalon recognizes him, so nothing he said was really new information), Landon's injury kept me on my toes for the duration of the chapter. It was a good choice that could lead to some expandable issues for all of the Mages, that I hope you can continue to bring forward in your writing.

As for style, well, I noticed that you spent a lot of time on clothing and appearance. I'd personally try to push the sentences together with commas, since readers are usually attracted more to magic itself than what magicians wear. You could work in a bit more flavor for the setting of the Guild (since seeing it more clearly will ultimately make us care more about it), as well as the Paladin light. You don't need to be too drastic; sometimes a few vivid words can plant a seed of imagination for you.
Also, you tend to jump between characters a lot. You don't need to, so don't rely on it. It kind of breaks up the flow when you jump through so many people's minds so quickly.

Characters: Oh boy, Kalihr. I've always thought of smooth villains as thriving on suspense. Make every movement he makes matter. He's the cold-blooded bastard who stabbed Landon, right? Make the audience fear him. This right here is his main moment, his introduction. This is where his first impression is placed on the audience. Heroes are only as quality as their villain, so let him steal the show. He reminds me of Chaser

Overall, this is a good continuation, with some high-potential characters. Descriptions could be touched up a bit, but most things were excellent. Cheers!


-Chaser

Europa replied · Dec 8, 2015

Surprisingly, Kalihr I plan to develop into more of an anti-hero. The plan is for the Big Bad to sneak attack the heroes basically, and he's a scary guy, so I'll definitely be trying my hardest to sent chills down the reading puplic's spine.

And yeah, Kalihr is a bit like Chaser, isn't he?
(I've kinda been binge-reading you story all afternoon. Not wired, just...um...dedicated?)

User avatar
Snoops
Review
Snoops wrote a review Review · Nov 18, 2015

Lau here for a review!

Except some grammar mistaks which I think were just typos:


" immense chamber chamber full of Mages, "

"Lnadone"

You did a good job! I really like the pace this is going and the cool names!

Suggestions:

-Maybe add some more personality details
-There are a lot of names to remember so add things that remind the readers who they are.
-When you make a chapter, don't change scenes too many times (that's your choice obviously, but I was just a bit confused at the pace we went from one place to another.)
-Cal is still my favourite character!!!

I love it and can't wait too read more!!

Europa replied · Nov 18, 2015

Cal is soooooo fun to write, too! And he only gets better!



'Like' and 'equal' are two entirely different things.
— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time