(by Dragofriend1234)
I lifted my pickaxe once again to strike at the ore filled wall, my muscles already sore from the strain of mining all morning, my black scales glittering in the torchlight. I’d give anything to escape this stuffy atmosphere, but the chains on my legs render struggle useless. I curse the day the orcs took over. Ever since, the elves, dwarves, griffons, and I, the last dragon, have been trapped in this accursed mine. Forced to mine as slaves until the day we leave this earthly plane. All the races had lived in harmony beforehand, but the orc king had wanted total control over the land and had gotten such by destroying villages, cities, towns, and castles. In the end the orcs had killed so many people that the very earth weeped for days. I yearn to escape from here but my hope is draining fast and every day we move further away from the sun.
I was captured while surveying the carnage from above. I had been flying in front of the sun, a shadow against the blazing ball of light. I was carrying a satchel of heirlooms and other items when I decided to land. Suddenly some orcs came up behind me and I tried to fly away, but they threw ropes over me before I got to high up and brought me here. I continued my work hating the memory. The overseer comes by and checks my chains to make sure I wasn’t weakening them. He soon moved on to check on the others. I want to shoot a jet of flame behind him and burn him but that would result in getting sent deeper in.
I try to remember my family but find it too difficult which infuriates me. They were slain by the orcs during the war. I use my anger at the orcs to slam through more of my work. There is only one thing I remember of them and that is the one lullaby sung to me so long ago, it went like this,
I lay in the meadow
under the blue sky
I lay and watch the clouds
slowly passing by
the sun is warm upon my scales
the grass so very soft
inviting me to dreamland
where I travel so very oft’
where there are cotton candy clouds
and joy never ends
so lay your weary head
it’s time to go to dreamland
it’s time to go to bed
I smile as the song finishes in my head. There is a chiming and I am lead off to the mess hall for lunch. During this period I see one of my only friends, Razorwing, in this stupid mine. He’s a griffon who, like me, is alone because of the orcs killing his family and pets. We sit and eat together but are soon separated to return to our designated mineshafts. Razorwing’s is lower than mine because he killed one of the guards on his first day. I work the rest of the afternoon and when night falls we are dismissed for dinner and to go to our cells. Luckily I share a cell with Razorwing so I have that to look forward to always. I tell him about how I tried to remember my family and failed. I go into the chest in which we could keep things if they passed inspection, and retrieve my most prized possession, a locket emblazoned with my family crest. I form a plan and tell Razorwing. “We’ll all team up and take over the mine. The orcs have become fat and lazy while we became strong doing their work for them. It won’t be very hard. I mean you killed a guard on your first day when they were still strong.” I explained.
“Yes I did. There are hundreds of us in here, and we can use the pickaxes as weapons until we pick up something better. Maybe the elves can use magic.With you as our leader we can escape and find real jobs, possibly overthrow the orc king.You’re a genius Storm! You are going to save us all someday soon. I can’t wait to tell the others. We are so out of here.” Razorwing replied with excitement.
I am about to give the signal, the one thing that will free us all and finally allow me to get a real job. I give the signal as hundreds of chains break in unison. I lead the army of miners to the main room and the fight begins. I find the biggest orc in the room and knock him out with the handle of my pickaxe and go into a hacking, slashing frenzy knocking down as many orcs as possible. I see razorwing fighting with the one orc that was prepared for us, Razorwing falls to the floor and barely manages to dodge a sword stroke by rolling to one side, I jump behind the orc and send him sprawling from a blow to the head by my pickaxe. He gets up and descends upon me his sword flashing wickedly, I give him a roundhouse kick to the gut and follow up with a slam from the heavy end of my pickaxe. Soon the dust settles, and reveals unconscious orcs lying every which way. We pile them into a mine cart and send them down the tracks to their doom. I find the confiscated weapons and dole them out to my troops. I take my sword and shield both of which have my family crest on them. I lead my troops to the surface.
“I said you would save me someday, and you just did, if you hadn’t hit that guy when you did I would’ve lost my head literally. You’re the best friend ever.”Razorwing said on the way up.
We gasp at the sight that greets us when we reach sunlight again. The nation we once knew was now twisted and destroyed beyond our most pessimistic nightmares. If they had been aiming to anger me they did a really good job of it. This enraged me so much that I tore one of the gnarled trees straight out of the ground and burned it. The orcs had destroyed our beautiful nation and every thing we believed in. I turned to my troops with a pure image of fury and hatred painted on my features, only to see them back away in fear. “We will become the soldiers of this nation! The guardians of hope! We will overthrow the orc king and return our nation to the way it was! I will throw every single orc off a mountain if it means restoring our kingdom to its former glory! I will do anything it takes to restore the nation we once lived in! Now who’s with me!” I boomed.
“We are! We will follow you and restore our nation to its former glory! We’ll go to the ends of the earth if it is your plan!” shouted a very enthusiastic crowd.
“Alright then lets go!”I replied. I led my army into the first city, converting the orcs to our side was our goal but the soldiers there had other plans. I drew my sword and lid my shield onto my forearm. The soldiers charged looking ridiculous because of their stumbling gait. The fight began. I lunged at one of the orcs and pierced all the way through his armor for a direct hit. I began fighting the next. I saw Razorwing defending with a look that said he would fall. I ran over to him and engaged the orc I pinned him down, but in a last ditch effort he sunk his knife into my side, I wanted to wince but I finished him and got up. My troops had defeated the other soldiers. I suddenly felt very dizzy and fell over, my eyes slowly closed and I thought I’d never again see the light of day.
“ Is she gonna be okay Doc, I can’t bear to lose her?” asked a familiar voice.
“ I do believe so. Her scales protected her from most of the blow.” another voice I presumed to be the doctor answered.
I opened my eyes. I saw Razorwing and an elf in a lab coat with sterile gloves on. A smile blossomed like a flower on Razorwing’s face. An identical smile formed on my face. I looked down and saw that my side was bandaged and the bandage had bloodstains on it. I was wondering how I got here because although Razorwing is strong he can’t pick me up much less get me to a doctor. Then I remembered that we had been leading troops and that he could have asked them to help. “Who is this?” I ask pointing to the elf.
“This is Dr.Harrison, he told me that some friends of his had been hiding him and some others. Also there are people here who want to rebel and so they’ve joined us. We’ll need to stay here until your wounds heal up.” explained Razorwing.
“Okay. Hey Doc, am I okay to leave?” I said.
“Yes you can but you should get your friend to help you.” Dr.Harrison replied
I got up and Razorwing helped me walk to the tavern. We went in. Everyones’ heads turned immediately in our direction. The villagers broke into song.
They escaped the slaver mineshafts pickaxes in hand
their leader raised her mighty sword
they’ve come to save the land
they traveled over lands of old not stopping for forgotten gold
they hid outside our village oh what a mighty band
they vanquished our captors
they’ve come to save the land
their leader won the battle yet got stabbed with a knife
and yet she stands before us
she hasn’t lost her life
one bandage and some bedrest
and once again she does stand
they’ll overthrow the orc king
they’ve come to save the land
The villagers finished their song and we began to applaud. The rest of the night was filled with song and dance. The tavern was a buzz of activity and general merriment. The night ended very late and the innkeeper insisted we take up his offer of free rooms and as we had nowhere to stay we gladly accepted. With more troops under my leadership we marched early reaching the next city by sundown and hid outside of the streetlights. At dawn we came into the streets and raised our makeshift banners high. The soldiers placed in the village came out too and the fighting began once more. I fought like a warrior out of a storybook parrying their best attacks and taking them down with ease. Then they brought out a wayvern and I took matters into my own claws. I took to the skies and began fighting the wayvern. It lashed out with its claws and left three cuts on my face. I in turn ripped one of its horns off. It shot a fireball at me but I hit it back toward its sender using my sword like a club. An amazing hit the fireball went straight into its mouth and down its throat before it had any time to react. I kicked it far away from the village where it exploded in the most spectacular fashion when I landed my troops were done fighting and were looking at the sky as if they expected a second explosion. The villagers came out and brought with them elves, valkyrie, griffons, humans, and other things. We went to the tavern.
“At this rate we’re sure to win. We have thousands of troops all armed and ready for battle, whereas the orc king’s army is only 100 orcs large, and they are becoming lazy. You and I have become strong and fast over time. We could march on the palace tomorrow if we wanted to. What do you say Storm?” said Razorwing.
“We’ll march in the morning. But I’ll tell you one last thing, I’m not doing this for fame, I’m doing this for my family.” I replied. I went to sleep knowing that tomorrow we regained our country and avenged both mine and Razorwings families. I woke up and ate breakfast. I led my troops toward the orc king’s castle. I had the archers snipe the gaurds off the ramparts. A couple thuds later. I backed up and charged breaking through the heavy oak gate. We streamed into the grounds. I knocked on the door just to see if there was going to be an answer. An orc opened the door wide oblivious to my army. I knocked him out and ran into the castle. I yelled for everyone to scatter and knock out the rest of the guards. then I headed to the king’s chambers. I opened the door and ran in to the lavishly furnished room.
“Who are you?” asked the orc king. He was obviously puzzled by my being in his room.
“The instrument of your demise.” I snarled coldly. He picked up a sword and I drew mine, we went into a deadly dance of jabs, slices, overhand cuts, underhand cuts, diagonal slashes, blocks, and parries. I knocked the sword out of his hands, picked him up, and threw him out the window with a booming yell.There was a thud far below.”That’s for killing our families, you jerk.” I said. I flew down to the courtyard where everyone was waiting.
“Storm, for defeating the orc King you are the new queen. You must now rule over our wonderful nation.” Razorwing said proudly.
“Long live the new queen! Long live Queen Storm, The new ruler!” shouted the crowd.
I was led into the castle where, through magic, the elves had modified the palace to suit me and my tastes. I was coronated and now rule over this wonderful land as my job. I guess I finally got my happily ever after. The villagers completed their song and it goes like this:
They escaped the slaver mineshafts pickaxes in hand
their leader raised her mighty sword
they’d come to save the land
they traveled over lands of old not stopping for forgotten gold
they hid outside our village oh what a mighty band
they vanquished our captors
they’d come to save the land
their leader won the battle yet got stabbed with a knife
and yet she did stand before us
she hadn’t lost her life
one bandage and some bedrest
and once again she did stand
they went to overthrow the orc king
they’d come to save the land
they traveled through meadows and forests
skirted the oceans and seas
went over mountains and valleys
to bring the orc king to his knees
they succeeded those glorious heroes
as a mighty band
now they stand triumphant
and their leader rules over the land
I woke up as soon as the strange song ended. Well that was a good dream. Strange though, I never thought up those characters before. I will be sure to not tell anyone. I got up careful not to wake up Kodi. It was a mostly regular Saturday morning. The only thing that was off was that dream. I usually think up the characters and lands they live in before I dream about them. The resonations I had with that dragon, Storm, were so much like the ones I have with the selves I think up. I shrugged it off and went to my computer. I know, I will take a journal on these dreams. I started a google doc and put the title as Dream Notes. I dated the top left corner of the page and typed notes on the dream I had. You know the griffin, Razorwing, is a lot like Brandt. I lightly reprimanded myself for thinking like that, even if Brandt was, and still is, my boyfriend. I walked over to the kitchen after a while and took my medicine. I was thinking how weird that dream was when I heard Kodi waking up. I quickly pulled up Minecraft to conceal my google doc and began to play on the Magicacraft server. Kodi as predicted came over to see what I was doing and looked questioningly at the screen as I climbed the side of someones obviously diamond filled base.
“How are you doing that in survival mode Sami?” She asked.
“I am playing on Magicacraft and I am an assassin.” I said. I had to give her a little credit since I had only started playing the server last Sunday while she was in Hatteras.
I continued to climb the wall. When I reached the top I slipped in. I crept around careful not to get caught by the owners. I saw that they had a large chest full of diamond swords. I filled up my inventory and all but one of my hot bar spaces. I did /sethome and after it said home set. I did /spawn. I put away the swords. I went into PVP and hid in the most efficient spot. Soon after a player passed by. I crept up behind him and instantly killed him. I grabbed his diamond armor and put it on. I continued this process until I had a very high power level so I could claim land for my faction. I made and soon claimed a base so far underwater you couldn’t get to it if you weren’t in the fac. Disconnected and got up. I grabbed some breakfast and sat down to eat. I finished eating and talked with Kodi some more. I told her I was pretty tired and needed a nap. She said that was highly unusual because I had slept for a whole twelve hours last night. She also asked me whether or not I felt cold and I said I was not cold at all. I went to sleep and was Immediately thrown into a dream.
“I can’t help it Razorwing. I need to go adventuring. I’m not cut out to rule a country. I am going to give the kingdom to someone else. I just don’t know who yet.” Storm said.
“But Storm, you can’t give up the reigns to just anybody. How will you know when to give it up and to whom?” Razorwing said obviously stressed.
“I don’t have all the answers yet but I know they will be revealed to me in time.”Storm said. Probably looking to end the conversation.
“Okay. So. you don’t have the answers. Time is a luxury we have this go around.” Razorwing said, bringing the conversation to an end.
I woke up and Kodi looked at me like I was nuts. She had obviously been watching me sleep. “Were you watching me sleep? If you were that’s just creepy.” I said.
“Fine you caught me. I was watching you.”Kodi replied.
“I’m twelve I don’t need a nursemaid. I have my unicorn to keep me company, without you watching me like Finn.”I said. More harshly than I meant to be.
"Okay hotshot no need to get snappy." She laughed briefly." I want you to come play some games."She replied.
"Lolz I'm coming. I get player one. No cheating. Oh wait you don't know how." I managed to say between giggles. We played for an hour before my stomach started to grumble at an obnoxious volume. We got some snack and told jokes. All of a sudden I felt tired. No I shouldn't be tired. Stupid brain stop telling me I'm tired. I told Kodi I needed a nap and she made a joke about me being a baby in a big body. I told her to shut up because she was a bigger baby than me.
"Razorwing the earth is shaking! Hold on to something solid!" Storm yelled, fear causing her voice to crack.
"Holding on Storm! I don't know what this means! It is scaring me too but we need to hold on!" Razorwing replied, obviously terrified by the violent pitching.
"What are those figures coming towards us?! They don't look much like people from here!" Storm asked her voice raised to a booming volume so as to be heard above the screaming of citizens and crashing of items falling down. Suddenly the chaos dissolved into an unsteady silence. The figures became distinguishable as the dust cleared. They were my counterparts from multiple other dimensions. The multiple versions of me walked over to the black dragon.
"Actually we, including you, are the same person or creature." myself from Equestria mentioned in a calm tone. I could see my, or actually her, distinctive half smile appearing on her muzzle.
"Okay. I know you are scared and worried and as a version of you I would be too. Right now your world is experiencing a dimension wall fracture. We cannot fix it because the person who imagined all of us at some point or another hasn't figured out how yet." The representative of me from minecraft sighed. "I now these are big words and all but we will explain when we get you to the meeting hall. "She cast a knowing glance at Razorwing bringing him to attention." I know you will want to come to the meeting hall but you need to stay here and run the country while Storm is away." Minecraft me told Razorwing and Storm in a voice as smooth as silk.
"Now that I somewhat know what is going on I will come with you." Storm said slightly calmer now. The group of my selves went through a portal into a very well lit room. They each sat in a chair from their own dimension and soon everyone was seated. "Now what?" Storm asked obviously new to this sort of thing.
"I have something to say." the words came from what looked like me in a clone costume. "I found a way to look at all of the different dimension walls and I have some very bad news." She sighed a deep sad sigh that echoed around the meeting hall. "The walls from farther out dimensions like mine have completely crumbled. The ones just behind the dimensions that get visited frequently are holding on by a thread. The ones that are frequently visited are beginning to crumble. The one we just went to has fractured. This does not bode well for the universe. Tomorrow all of the walls will come crashing down and all of the worlds will merge. We have to give the mission this afternoon. We have to rush it. We don't have time" She managed to say before breaking down.
"The clone is right. We really don't have time. We have to do it. She'll have to be ready and equipped. All of the evil from the nightmare and fear dimensions will take her by surprise if she isn't prepared. We know what to do. Everyone go and get things for her to use. We will give them to her with the mission. Do not forget things for her friends. We cannot screw this up guys. Meeting adjourned." my self from Raina said. They all went to their proper dimensions including me.
I woke up and told Kodi to gather all of her friends. I gathered Brandt, Hank, and Jack. With our group assembled and Kali hidden away in the perfect spot we waited. It soon became afternoon and I got everyone up and ready. We stood on the hill and prepared for my selves. There was a bright light and they appeared. They were surprised that I had anticipated everything they hadn't mentioned in the meeting. They had armor and weapons for the whole group and my stuff looked exceedingly impressive.
"Well I guess the original always knows what to do. Okay listen up, when you equip the weapons given you will know how to use them. The armor is as light and cool as gym shorts and a tee-shirt so don't think you're too tough. If you have magic powers like original here they will be activated after the mission has been given. Your magic is limited and will cost energy to use. You are still humans and have most of your weaknesses. The only weaknesses removed are: the need for glasses, asthma, you will not need as much water or food as usual, personal hygiene will cease to be relevant meaning you won't get smelly and your hair won't get tangled. Any questions?"Ranian me told us.
"Can we die?" asked one of Kodi's friends. Everyone stopped putting on armor and stared at them for a minute. "What? It's a perfectly innocent question." they asked.
"Yes you can die. Nobody look at me funny. You all would have died eventually anyway and chances are with original as your leader you won't die because of this. I never thought this day could come. I thought it was just a harmless theory. Now I know it was more than a theory and not at all harmless." Ranian me sighed, suddenly sounding tired. "I think you'll make it and save the world." She said with more vigor.
"Wait, you mean to tell me the world is in danger?" Hank asked.
"Yes your world is in grave danger." Ranian me replied, annoyed at the bombardment of questions.
"Cool." Hank stupidly said.
"No definitely not cool Hank. Who says it's cool that the world is in danger?"I snapped.
"Whoa take a chill pill." Hank replied slightly laughing. I was mad but I didn't reply. Ranian me was obviously having the same thoughts. We looked at each other and nearly cracked up at each others expressions.
"Okay now that you have armor and everything I will grant original a book of things you will probably face. The world you live in is about to change drastically and you must be prepared. Listen to original and do not question her orders. I know most of you regard her as just a kid but she is more than that. I must grant her this before the worlds merge."She slipped a black dragon pendant on a black chain around my neck."It encases all of her selves from other dimensions. Souls and all. When the worlds merge I too will be inside of the necklace." She sighed sadly."She is the only one who can save your world, but even she needs help to fulfill her purpose. You must treat her as an equal and fight alongside her. If she fails or dies your world will be lost beneath the specter of fear and hatred. Without her your world will be the nightmare you were glad not to have. I must give her the mission in private as well as her sword." Her sentence was punctuated by a still silence. We walked out of earshot and she turned to me."Your mission is to find the crystal of light and hope and place it in the indentation on your breastplate. Then you can banish fear and hatred to the void. You and only you can complete this mission. You are also the only one who can wield Voidclarent." She handed me a beautiful sword with a black streak down the middle."This sword has been waiting many a millennium for you. Wield it with dignity. You and it were linked by destiny. The sword was made in sight of a prophecy perfectly describing you and the fact that the dimension walls would crumble. You cannot fail! You must not fail! You really must not fail for the love of mike!" She exclaimed. She sighed and calmed down a little. "It is time for me to become one with the necklace. Remember all of the knowledge gathered in our dimensions is yours to access at any time. You are the only thing that can stop the world from falling into the hands of fear and hatred. You have to believe you can do it. You must believe in yourself. You are the savior. I don't care what anyone else says. No deity is going to come down and save us all. You are going to save us." She cried out the last words. "I will always be with you. I will be in the necklace. All you need is in here." She poked the area where my heart is. "Never give up on yourself. I sure won't be giving up. Go get 'em original" She began to disappear as she said the last words. I watched her disappear. When she was fully gone I picked up Voidclarent and put it in it's sheath. I briefly paused before putting on the breastplate thinking that this was it. I put it on and walked over to where my friends were admiring my helmet. I donned the helmet and turned to the group of children and teenagers. I thought up a speech and decided it would make everyone more confident in my leadership.
"I know this is sudden and most of you don't want to be commanded by a twelve year old girl, but this is how it must be. We have to believe in ourselves and each other if we want to save the world. It has occurred to me that this is no time to pray and hope whatever deity there is will save us. I was told that I was the savior now and that there is no other savior or will be any other savior for us. I know that religion says otherwise but this is no time for religion, this is the time for action. We have to find the crystal of light and hope. Only then can I save the whole world and banish the specter of fear and hatred. For now I must ask that you rid yourselves of hatred. Like me you must not hate. I know it seems impossible but I did it in less than an hour a long time ago. Now it is time for you to banish the small amount of hatred that lives within you. We need to start before the dimension walls crumble and allow the specter to come here during the merging of the worlds. Although you may think all of this is some ridiculous joke I am not joking around. Now come on we have to go." I said erasing all doubt that I could lead us to victory and save the world from this threat. I began to walk and they formed a line behind me. Their silver armor gleaming like the moon and my black armor looking like space itself had formed around me. We walked a long time until a black deer came up to me and looked at me like it wanted me to take off my helmet. I took off the helmet because it couldn't hurt and the deer nuzzled my face. Apparently this black buck liked me a lot. The deer shot me a look that said "Get on my back. I will call other deer for your friends." so I looked back like "Do I need a saddle?". The deer looked at me like it had overlooked that and made a motion that obviously said to wait there. I stopped my group and we waited.
It didn't take long for the deer to return with a saddle on and multiple other deer. All of the deer had on saddles. The other deer were white and female. The deer I had met obviously wanted me to ride it. I signaled for the others to mount the white deer then I mounted the black deer. I grabbed the reigns as if I knew what to do and suddenly I knew exactly how to ride any mount while wielding weapons. The others knew how to ride but not how to ride while using their weapons, but I deemed that okay. Wait these are some big deer. The white ones are as big as racehorses and this black one is the size of a very large racehorse. Whatever Heroes on Horses is to mainstream anyway. I led my column of deer riding armor-clad young adults toward Richmond.
We reached Richmond at sunset and decided our small party would request lodging at Dominic's house and we prepared extra armor and an extra deer just in case he wanted to join on our quest. We rode up and I dismounted the deer. I walked up to the door and knocked it gently so that I did not leave a dent. Dominic answered it.
"What is with the armor? Who's in the armor? Are those deer?" Dominic asked inquisitively. I had everyone take off their helmets which only served to further confuse Dominic.
"Listen Dominic. I know this is weird and you're wondering how we are all standing up with all this armor on. Those are deer and the black one randomly came up and befriended me while we were coming to Richmond. Our world is about to change drastically and we are getting the jump on things. I have to find the crystal of hope and light so that I can fight off the specter of fear and hatred. In simple terms that means I need to find a magical crystal to fight off evil junk. We need a place to stay for the night. Will you provide lodging? If you want to join the quest we have extra materials." I told him. He was a little less confused after my explanation. I heard footsteps and could tell by the volume and pitch that it was Mathilde coming down to see what Dominic was doing. When she saw what was going on she was so confused. I went through the explanation for her and she was less confused as well. They accepted our request for lodgings and Dominic joined the group. We fell asleep to the sounds of Richmond traffic outside the window.
When I woke up I put my armor back on and headed downstairs. I found the others doing regular morning activities, like eating breakfast. I told everyone that today everything would change and all magical powers would be activated. Dominic inquired as to all of this and I gave him a simple answer that answered it completely. He told us that Hunter and Tom would be coming over and he wanted to prank them. He told me the plan and I liked it. I had everyone in armor line up in decorative positions along the walls. Dominic invited the Hunter and Tom in. They followed him down the hall and we acted like statues. When they got into Dominic's room where I was standing they asked what was with all the suits of armor and why they were all different sizes. Dominic gave them an answer that worked and didn't give away the prank. I slowly and silently crept up behind them. Hank silently moved into the doorway and the others stood still. They turned around in unison as planned and screamed their heads off. I laughed and they stopped screaming.
"Who's in the armor? Are their people in all the suits of armor? What is going on?" Hunter inquired. He was half talking half laughing so it came out a bit weird. Dominic showed them to a seat in the living room and all of us armored people stood there. Dominic told us to take off the helmets and I relayed the order to my troops. We all took off the helmets and their faces had some strange expressions on them. "So it was planned. Sami, why are you the only one with black armor? Why is there an indentation in your breastplate? Why are you all dressed like this? Why are you here?" Hunter asked. I knew I had to give him the full story so I turned it into a speech.
"I have to tell everyone who is not currently in armor something very important that is hard to understand. Our word is about to change in a very splendid manner. Our world will be mixed with all of the dimensions because the dimension walls are going to crumble this afternoon. I was given a mission yesterday at three o'clock. My mission s to find the crystal of hope and light and place it in the indentation in my breastplate. Once it is there I can banish the specter of fear and hatred from our world. Fantasy will become reality this afternoon. There is no deity that will come down and save us. That is my job. I am this worlds only savior and the only one who can stop your lives from turning into the nightmare you are glad you could never dream up. If I fail or I die you can kiss your semi-luxurious lives goodbye cause if that happens the dark ages are gonna seem like heaven. My band came here last night and received lodgings from Dominic. I would suggest either hiding and hugging a stuffed animal until it's all over or joining the fight. I am the leader whether you like it or not because I am the only one who can save us all."I said in a tone that dared them to challenge me. They looked at each other then looked at me and joined the party. I knew that this was going to be tough but I had everyone put on their armor and mount their deer. We rode toward the center of the city. I was going to need a map from town hall.
We got the map and got out of town hall as fast as possible. The noonday sun was heading west and afternoon was beginning. I had to give a speech pronto. "No matter what you see or hear. Do not lose hope or hate on each other. We can do this. The adults can't do this for us It is our time to fix things and we aren't gonna fail. Always remember that you can do this. I need you all to believe because disbelief only sets us back." I said my quick speech and we sat proudly astride our deer. I looked at the map and it was changing into a map of the U.S instead of a map of Richmond. Great the crystal might not even be in this state.I thought bitterly. The crystal was in a very far away place and I didn't think our chances of catching a plane were all that good. The crystal that held my strongest powers was in Nome, Alaska. Oh great we have to go to Nome to get the crystal that I need to save the world. I thought angrily. I told the troops to pack a sweater and a scarf cause we were going to Nome. There were some grumbles and a slight decline in morale but after a stern gaze from me and a reminder of the alternative everyone was in top gear. I traced the most efficient route with a pencil and took us in the direction of West Virginia.
The deer were incredibly fast and durable so we reached the border by nightfall. Things were already strange so I decided a regular fire was not a good idea. I lit up my magic and had used that. A few coyotes got close but we scared them off with our weapons. I was not as worried about the coyotes as I was the other monstrosities that were probably lurking just beyond the light of my magic. At this thought I remembered the gift from Ranian me. I opened it and I thought of how many hours she had spent on this book. She had known I would need. She not only made it, she endowed it with the love you need to make something special. The first page said: "Wyvern" A giant lizard with two legs and wings. Comes out in the daytime. Shoots fireballs. Weak against it's own attack. Suggestions. Run or hit it's fire ball back at it. The first page also had a very detailed drawing of the creature. I thought about the creature and strangely knew more than the book told me. I flipped through and looked at the titles. A few titles were: Cockatrice, Gryphon, Chimera, Ectoplasmus, Hydra, Orc, Fearhound, and Hateful spirit. I knew everything as soon as I read the title. When I read the title it was read in the voice of Ranian me. The Ectoplasmus was the strangest as well as the thing lurking at the brink of our light. I knew that the second there was no light one of the group would disappear and they would take us to their lair one by one picking off the weakest until there was only one left. Then they would take the last one and the group would have almost no chance of escape. The group sensed my unsteadiness and packed in tightly around me. The gelatinous Ectoplasmus wasn't going to get us yet. I trapped some light from my magic in a lantern and duplicated the lantern using magic until everyone and their mount had one. We placed the lanterns around us in a circle packed in tightly and went to sleep proud to have outsmarted the Ectoplasmus.
I woke up and was glad to find the lanterns still glowing in the darkness before the dawn. I fixed breakfast for the group. Bacon and eggs fried by magic. Dawn's pale light slowly painted the sky as the stars faded and the curtain fell on night's production. I prepared everything to head once again in the direction of Nome. I opened the book and found a note in the back. It was taped in and I could unfold it to where I could read without removing it from the book. It said:
Dear Original,
I had to write this note for you so that you would more fully understand what you are doing and how to do it. You must figure out the riddle at the end of this note to find where to use the crystal of hope and light to banish the specter of fear and hatred. All of us in the locket are counting on you. When you actually banish the specter of fear and hatred the journey will end. I have no idea how you will do it but I have confidence that you will succeed. The crystal is merely a focusing center you are the spirit of hope and light therefore are irreplaceable. If you die before the mission is complete all hope and light dies with you. If you die after the mission is complete your spirit will remain on earth to keep light shining and hope alive. You created the others and I the old Derpy is alive in your heart and you hope to bring her back yet. You are the one and that cannot be changed. You are smart and I believe that you can solve the riddle, get the crystal, banish the specter, and save your whole world from evil. The riddle that you must solve to find where you shall use the crystal of hope and light reads: The start of a journey, taken with friends. Where it begins and where it ends. Many a twist and turn you will take. The fate of your world is what is at stake. When you come to save the land you will end up where you began.
Love,
Ranian.
The start of a journey, taken with friends. Where it begins and where it ends. Many a twist and turn you will take. The fate of your world is what is at stake. When you come to save the land you will end up where you began. I heard the riddle play back in my head. What could that mean. Okay I don't have time to solve the riddle now. I have to get the crystal. I thought needing to prioritize. I got the rest of the troop up and told them they could eat while we traveled. We got on our deer and I went ahead of the group notching an arrow on my bowstring. I saw a lone orc that would probably cause trouble so I halted my group and shot it. We rode up and I retrieved my arrow. Once that was done we blazed along and got halfway to the middle of the state before noon. At noon something went wrong. By that I mean a wyvern appeared. I had a sudden flash of memory the words hit its fire ball back at it and an image of Storm doing just that. I stopped the troop and made them hide in the bushes. I stood on the back of my deer and used Voidclarent to flash sunlight in the wyvern's eye. It became agitated and roared at me. I held my ground or rather my deer as it did so. It came close to swoop down but I jumped above the wyvern and landed on my deer once it had returned to the air. It shot a fireball and I hit it like a major league batter going for a home run. It hit the wyvern straight in the snout. It came back and shot another. This time I gave the fireball a backhand like a tennis player. The wyvern was in the process of roaring so the fireball went down its throat. It exploded like a firework and I jumped off my deer. The group came over to congratulate me but I had us keep on going and told them it was too soon to party.
We were at the border between West Virginia and Ohio when night fell. I was a little sad that we couldn't just skip Ohio entirely. I had memories here and some were sad ones but we had to go through this way if we wanted to get to the crystal. I was glad the indentation on my breastplate did not form a heart because it would be so annoying if the crystal was the crystal heart from My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. I set up camp in such a way that every nook and cranny was lit by a bright lantern. We were glad for the lamps, even the people who normally didn't sleep with lights on. I looked toward the road I had taken into Ohio a year ago in the spring. The convoy I saw coming up originally was not there and there was no fire. Just a cold quiet depressing darkness. I looked off into the distance imagining Aunt Ellen's white Honda Odyssey driving up that lonesome road to Ohio. I waved to my figure sitting in the passenger side middle row, but it was just my imagination and she didn't wave back. The darkness closed in and our camp was the lone speck of light on the black canvas that was the night. We fell asleep and the night became quiet and blank. All of our laughter now gone into the embrace of sleep
I woke up before dawn again and wondered how a group of young adults and kids had made it this far under my leadership. I drew it down to three possibilities: I was really lucky, the group had tightened their belts and promised to do better than any other group, or I was a better leader than even I realized. I knew that this was my fight. This was not one of those times to blend into the background and let others duke it out. I had to lead with confidence and strength the way all the heroes I'd ever read about did. It was my turn to stand up and show the world what I could really do. It was time for my story to be placed in our history and learned just like when Mr.Coffey taught me about U.S history from 1865-the cold war. I could do this and I would beat doubt to the punch and save the world. My life was a legend destined to be written and it's long overdue.
Just as I finished getting ready to lead better than anyone had led before my group woke up. I fixed breakfast and cleaned all the weapons. I wasn't entirely sure how they got dirty since I had been the only one to fight anything. I sharpened all swords, axe blades, knives, spearheads, crossbow bolt tips, arrowheads, and other assorted weaponry. After they had eaten I confidently presented them with their weapons and made sure they had all mounted their deer. I packed up camp and got on my deer. I had them arrange in an awesome column form. Archers facing both back and front shield walls on either side and leader in the front. We marched now instead of walking and went quickly through all human populated areas. We were one quarter through the state and it was noon. We were walking down a forest trail and got to a clearing. There a bunch of orcs jumped out. I drew my sword and signaled for the others to draw their weapons. With all weapons drawn we looked like fearsome warriors from a fairy tale. The orcs advanced encircling us. We formed a classic defensive circle and were ready to fight. One of the orcs came too close for my liking and I bashed his skull with my shield. He crumpled to the ground and the others took that as their queue to start. They took a more classic approach sword fighting with their opponents or hacking at them with axes or engaging in ferocious knife on knife combat. There was one heavily armored orc left and the others did not have the right weapons to engage him. I jumped into the air and brought Voidclarent in a downward arc. It glistened in the sun and its beautiful blade was framed by black flames completely explaining its name to me. It cut through his sword and armor like a hot knife through butter and when it hit him he howled and leaving only his armor. The others gasped and I just nodded at my swords awesome power. Then I said as a joke "What sort of black magic is this?" The group cracked up and we continued on to see if we could get through Ohio in one day.
We were really fast but Ohio was bigger than West Virginia so we ended up setting up camp three quarters of the way through. I did something strange this time. I sprinkled a glowing powder in a circle around the camp. It stuck and would not come off the ground no matter what I did. The group headed off to tell stories. I stared thoughtfully into the distance. It is strange that time itself has no end but us humans view it as a finite thing. If my time was finite I would want it to be filled with laughter smiles and adventure. Maybe our lives are not determined by any deity or greater power, but by our choices and actions. If one deity held our fate we would all have the same life, the same wishes, and the same dreams. I held the fate of an entire world in my hands and I was no deity no greater power, I was simply and truly a twelve year old girl living in a crazy world. So if someone like me can hold everyone's fate is it a predetermined thing? Does destiny choose for us? Are we programmed to do the things we do? I think that we though so small and finite control ourselves. If one person can make a nation change their minds then who is to say I cannot choose my path? I believe that we can do this as a group and a team. I thought. I went to bed after I had emptied my head of all its thoughts.
I woke up and got everything ready I was all ready to go with the breakfast cooked and all that jazz before dawn. I touched the locket very gently and I could feel the belief my selves had in me. I could go for the path of least resistance and just accept the fear and hatred, but that was not the path I chose. I would resist it even after the specter was gone. I would resist even when I was dead. I gathered the group had them eat and we went off at a breakneck pace headed for Ontario, forget Missouri. By golly we were at the edge of Lake Michigan before noon. I thought up a plan and ran it by the people in my group who knew how to build ships that wouldn't sink. I pulled together a raft out of twine and logs I borrowed someones axe and carved a paddle out of an extra log. I made a raft worthy of belonging to Huckleberry Finn and Jim. I got on and began to ferry them across one by one. We were across Lake Michigan by nightfall. we set up camp and I grabbed the raft. We would need it to cross Lake Superior. I sprinkled some more of the glow dust and sat down facing the lake. The setting sun's reflection shown beautifully on the rippling waters. It was hard to imagine that we were almost in Ontario. I thought of my family. Spread out as they were they were probably worried about Kodi and I. I decided I would write a letter and send it using magic. The letter I wrote read:
Dear family,
Hi. I am up near Canada. I am sorry I did not leave a note. If the slight changes in how everything feels and works did not tell you what I am about to say then this may come as a shock. Our world has changed drastically. Fantasy has become Reality. Evil will try to overtake the land in the form of The Specter of Fear and Hatred. I have been given a mission. I must go to Nome, Alaska and retrieve the crystal of hope and light. Then I have to solve a riddle that tells me were I have to go so that I can banish the specter. The fate of our world is in my hands. No deity is coming to save us for I am the savior. I do not care what religion says. There is no one who can do this for me. This is my fight. This is my chance to prove myself to the world, and I don't intend on failing. If Kodi returns without me just try to keep hopeful. I intend to return. I will stop this and that is a Pinkie Promise to the world. Stay safe. I am trying to stay safe myself but it's kind of hard when your the savior of the world.
P.S.:It's hard to leave a note when you have a world to save.
Love,
Sami
I finished the letter and used my magic to send it home. I hoped they would get it and know I was okay. I thought over what had happened. I talked to myself and there was an actual self there in front of me. I have a locket full of souls and junk around my neck. I am wearing legit armor and have a magical sword. I can use magic. I left home randomly. Tamed a bunch of strange deer. Went through half of Virginia, two other states, and crossed Lake Michigan in less than a week. Sent a letter home using magic and am leading a group of twelve to thirteen year olds and young adults. I have the craziest life ever. If this story goes on Facebook it might be the longest post in Facebook history. Either I am crazy or this is a dream cause this is not normal.
"What is normal?" Said a voice that sounded very familiar.
"I don't know. I also can't figure out exactly why I am using telepathy on myself." I thought.
"Do you remember which one of you I am?" The voice asked.
"You are..... Ranian! How did you get into my head and read my thoughts?"I thought in reply.
"Good job original you just won a million dollars. Nope Just Chuck Testa. Lol. I got into your head because you thought me up there remember?" Ranian said.
"Oh right. Okay can you give me any advice while you are here?" I asked getting more used to this.
"Okay. After you cross Lake Superior you will meet a pack of wolves. Pet the big black one. It's the leader and the least aggressive. It is kind of cheesy that he is a black wolf and your going to Nome. Then you should turn the raft into a dogsled and hitch the wolves to it. the deer will wait for you above Lake Superior. Then you take the dogsled to Nome." Ranian said.
"Thanks" I replied.
"You are welcome. I would wish you good luck but it seems you already have it." Ranian said and ended the telepathic link. I went to bed having a great time.
I woke up and this time the group had beat me to the morning chores. I laughed because of this little competition and the fact that Kodi had once again tried to make bacon without success. I found at least one person had squeezed more fun and laughter out of that bacon than I could have that early. It was Hank. Hank had taken two pieces of bacon and stuck them on his face as a mustache. He was doing a little dance and singing the bacon truck song which was even more hilarious than usual on account of the mustache. The whole group cracked up and we had no better use for the bacon so we put on our helmets and a bacon mustache each and packed up camp. We all got on the raft and sang the bacon truck song with our mustaches all the way across Lake Superior. When we got to the edge I did as Ranian had said but we also let the wolves eat the bacon mustaches. We cracked up because the lead wolf just put on the mustache and the other wolves did too all the extra they ate. We rode our bacon mustache sled trough the Canadian wilderness. It was so funny we had to take a lot of potty breaks. We were on the border of Alaska when night fell. I looked off at the tundra and then looked back in the direction of Virginia. We had come so far and we weren't going to turn back now. I stared in the direction of home and I hoped they had gotten my letter. Just as I had finished wishing that they could send one back a letter popped up in a puff of green flame. "Forget you Ian! Wishes do come true!"I yelled at the top of my lungs attracting Kodi's attention. "In your face Ian!" I half yelled half laughed. I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. I opened the letter. It was from them! They must have found someone capable of sending it. The letter from home read:
Dear Sami and Kodi,
We cannot believe you two sent us a letter via magic from the edge of Lake Michigan. Ian freaked out when he heard the fate of the world was in your hands. He kept saying that it was the end of the world and the apocalypse is coming. Andy just laughed at him and said he'd be more worried if the fate of our world was in Ian's hands. This is so surprising and I don't know where you are now but we can send you letters due to the aid of a purple allicorn who calls herself Twilight and her assistant Spike the dragon. You were right about dragons being okay creatures and existing. Both of them addressed you by name and they looked like My little pony characters so we knew they were okay. Especially after Kali ran up and hugged them. They explained it to us as you had apparently explained to them. I don't know how you did it Sami but you did it. Kodi I hope you didn't try to make anymore bacon. If you already did I hope your sister found a use for it. I can't wait for you to get home.
Love,
Gaba
Kodi and I hugged each other, laughed, and did a happy dance. When this was finished We went to bed.
I woke up and got all the chores done before any of the others woke up. I made hot chocolate and poured it into a giant thermos until the it was full. Then I duplicated the thermos until we had two for each person and shrunk them to pocket size although the amount of hot chocolate inside did not change. I made bacon and pancakes. I fed the wolves and waited for the others to get up. They got up then they smelled the finished food. I fed everyone and gave them their thermoses. We geared up and headed out to brave the icy tundra.
We pushed on and on intrepid adventurers on a quest that must be completed. The icy winds blew in our faces as we sled over the icy landscape. It seemed impossible. The odds were against us, but weren't they always? We defied evil the satisfaction of seeing us turn back. Every one of us had something or someone inside our hearts and the thought of them being trapped in a nightmarish world drove them to push on. Even the wolves had memories and families that they didn't want to suffer. So we pushed on through gale force winds, heavy sleet, hail, snow, and ice to get that crystal. I randomly started singing a song that I had written. The song goes:
A million questions no answer
a million quests and adventures
a million thoughts
a million dreams
a million chances and
a million things
some of these will fade away
but the rest are here to stay
there may be a million days
a million choices
and a million ways
a million paths for you to walk
a million people to whom you will talk
but among these millions
each one is special
in it's own way
Life is a journey we must take
filled with regrets
and mistakes to make
Taken with friends
like you and me
in a group
or lonely
A million miles are filled with dread
a million more with hope instead
a million still with heavy hearts
a million relationships falling apart
Hatred and fear will turn you away
and you wont hear the words love has to say
but like the sun starting every day
friendship and hope will steer you my way
Life is a journey we must take
filled with regrets
and mistakes to make
Taken with friends
like you and me
in a group
or lonely
Loss and grief find us all one day
but friends will support you the whole way
Life has its highs
and life has its lows
but you can determine how your journey goes
if pick yourself up and try again
you can be among noble men
yes you can
Life is a journey we must take
filled with regrets
and mistakes to make
Taken with friends
like you and me
in a group
or lonely
Oh lonely
lonely
The rest of the group joined in giving multiple pitches to the song. For the first time I saw the tundra not as a landscape but an opponent that I had to beat. We repeated the song louder this time and each time we repeated the song we got louder. The wolves joined in and the song became a ghostly melody that rang over the tundra. I did not even know half of the people in this group, but in that one incredible moment when the winds died and our melody carried for miles we were all family. The forces of nature backed away and we knew that nothing could stop us if we tried hard enough. We set up camp for the night and I dug a moat in the snow around us. I sprinkled the glow dust in the moat and it made a beautiful sight. Aurora Borealis waved its colors in the sky like a flag and we knew we could do this. I looked once more toward home and oh did I miss it. I missed Kali's shining face when she walked in the door and I even missed Ian and his constant disapproval of everything I did. I missed them so much. Hank sat beside me and also looked toward home. I knew who he was missing. He was missing his mom, his dad, his step-dad, and his girlfriend. "You miss everyone back home too?" I asked engaging him in friendly talk.
"Yeah I do. I miss my girlfriend so much and I just wish I could see her."Hank said.
"Wishes come true. Twilight made my wish come true and I'll do the same for you." I said planning to use magic to show him his girlfriend through her mirror and she would be able to see him.
"You can make it so I can see my girlfriend without abandoning the quest?"Hank asked.
"Of course I can. Watch this. She will be able to see you too."I replied and got to work. I cast the spell and the mirror appeared in front of Hank. He took off his helmet and looked through. Margaret came in and when she saw Hank in her mirror she freaked. Then she calmed down and looked at him.
"Hank how are you in my mirror, why are you wearing armor, and where are you?"Margaret asked.
"Sami can explain the how, the where, and the why so I'll let her take over." Hank replied passing me the mirror.
"Our world has changed a lot. That is the reason we are wearing armor. Since this change I can use magic so I made a magic mirror so that he could see and talk to you without having to abandon the quest. We are in Alaska and we are headed for Nome so that we can get the crystal I need to save the world. I have to banish the specter of fear and hatred using my power and the crystal. Does that give you an answer?" I told her. I passed the mirror to Hank.
"Yes it did. Hank I miss you and I wish you were here but this mirror trick will work for now. Is there a chance you will die?" Margaret asked.
"Actually Sami told me it is a 99.999% chance that I will get back. For her it is a 75% chance. She says she has a higher risk of dying because any assassins will be going for her only. I will most likely make it back safe and sound." Hank replied.
"Great! I will be waiting for you."Margaret said.
"If you want to write me a letter send it through Sami's family. They can make sure I get it." Hank said.
"Okay I will. Bye"Margaret replied.
"Bye."Hank said. For the first time in all the time I have known Hank I actually saw that crazy bombastic boy cry. He had a happy face and their were tears streaming down his cheeks. Even when he cries he looks bombastic. I thought. I couldn't even tell whether he was happy or sad because the tears came down in a steady stream while his face was still smiling. I sat there and watched him. I conjured a picture of it in my mind and stored it in my memory. Eventually he stopped crying and went to his tent. The wolves began to howl and it seemed such a lonesome and sad sound. I stored the sound in my memory along with that picture. Tonight I had seen a bombastic boy cry and heard the wolves lonesome howling. The specter would do worse if I didn't stop it. I thought long and hard. This world has dragged the tears out of Hank and the most lonesome sound I have ever heard into my ears. This world is cruel and dark. It brings the best people to their knees. I must bring the kindness to banish the cruelty. I must bring the light to banish the dark. This is no game. I am gonna kick life's but so hard. I realized that this world won't stop taking and it won't start giving. I am just gonna have to teach it tho share using the fist of justice, the words of kindness, the purity of light, and my awesome determination. Life would just have to shut up and take a back seat cause it's my turn to drive.
I woke up and got ready to kick life's sorry but into next Friday. I fixed breakfast polished everything and fed the wolves. It was awesome the way I kept on doing things even in this frigid cold. I readied the sled and waited for everyone to get up. When they were ready we ate and prepared to travel on through the snow and ice that was Alaska. Kodi gave me a look that told me spirits were fading. I decided to give another one of my speeches to make everyone stand up tall in their armor. I began to feel the warm tingle of a speech forming in my head. "Listen up. We are not just little pieces in one giant jigsaw puzzle. We are fighters. We are gonna take this mopy sorry sack of crap and throw it off a cliff. It's time for action not decreased morale. Get your lazy bums out of the snow and come on. I know you all have someone back home, but if we turn back now there won't be a home to return to. We have to do this and we have to believe. This isn't some fairy tale that'll end happily ever after no matter what we do. This is life and I'm gonna make the most out of mine. So come on! We have a world to save!" I spoke strongly to the group. It was time to save our world. Time to play chicken with fear. We all hopped on the sled and the wolves ran as fast as ever though the cutting winds of the tundra. I made them stop because I had seen something. It looked like a dog but a more sinister presence lurked with it. The thing multiplied and began to close in. Fearhouds. Their weakness is...Wait what? Their weakness is the same as a ghost. Wait I'll just sing giggle at the ghosties and we'll make them go away. Genius! I thought. "All bronies sing with me. We are gonna giggle at these ghosties. I don't know if it'll work but it's worth a try." I said. A few of them stepped forward. Then everyone who knew the song stepped forward.
When I was a little filly
And the sun was going doooooown
The darkness and the shadows
They would always make me froooooown
I'd hide under my pillow
From what I thought I saw
But Granny Pie said that wasn't the way
To deal with fears at all
She said, "Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall
Learn to face your fears
You'll see that they can't hurt you
Just laugh to make them disappear.
Soooooo...
Giggle at the ghostly
Guffaw at the grossly
Crack up at the creepy
Whoop it up with the weepy
Chortle at the kooky
Snortle at the spooky
And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just make you wanna... He he he ha ha ha,
Laaaaaaugh!
We sang and it confused the fearhounds but it did not work. Dang-it!I thought. I guess we will have to do this the old fashioned way. I confirmed in my head. I drew my sword and charged. The hounds leaped at me a typhoon of shadow dogs. I went down and they all went on top of me. Just when my group thought I was dead and the world was screwed there was an explosion. the dust cleared and I was standing there like nothing had happened. They cheered and we got on the sled. I set a course for Nome.
I wondered why the song hadn't worked. Was the magic missing without Pinkie? I did not know so I just kept on looking out into the distance. It was white as far as I could see and such a sight usually drains hope, but I wasn't gonna let it drain me. We kept on with the icy winds trying to push us back from the goal. The wolves sensed my determination and went even faster. I knew I was doing this for not just my family but all of our families. I was doing this for the world I wont just leave a mark on history I'll leave a dent in it. I sensed that we were close to Nome although the wolves had nearly tired themselves out with that burst of speed and I didn't want to stop so I got out unhitched the dogs and hooked my self up to the sled. Suddenly five clones of me appeared and we pulled that sled. It was a sight to be sure. We ran with it until we reached it. One of the most beautiful sights in the world right now. We had got to Nome.
I nearly cried. We had done it. We had gotten to Nome. I hugged Kodi. I hugged the wolves. I hugged Brandt. We were here and it had taken less time to get there than it usually takes adults. There was the crystal in the middle of town. It shown as if the Aurora Borealis was trapped inside of it. I walked up and I seemed to go in slow motion. It was the most amazing thing I had seen in my life. Twelve years of never fitting in and I get to see this and save the world. So worth it.
I touched the crystal and a magical link was formed. I picked it up and put it in the indentation. I had the crystal and this was only the beginning. The people of Nome said they had original hid the crystal inside of a statue of the dog who saved their town, but when they heard we were coming they put it where I could see it. None of this seemed real. It felt like a dream, but this was no dream. This was me in my world. I have the crystal s now the riddle is left to solve. It makes no sense but so far optimism and randomness are what have gotten me through. The riddle was:The start of a journey, taken with friends. Where it begins and where it ends. Many a twist and turn you will take. The fate of your world is what is at stake. When you come to save the land you will end up where you began. Okay if I break the riddle into parts and solve each part I just have to put the pieces in place. Okay so the first part is:The start of a journey, taken with friends. Well I am on a journey and I am taking it with friends. I started in Goochland. Next part:Where it begins and where it ends. Okay I know where it begins and what I am trying to figure out where it ends. Next:Many a twist and turn you will take. That must mean the complexity of the journey itself. Next:The fate of your world is what is at stake. Okay so I know the stakes are my world. Last:When you come to save the land you will end up where you began. When I go to save my world I'll go back to the start. I know! The answer to the riddle is in the beginning. Meaning I am going back to Goochland. I thought. Okay we need to go back to Goochland. I'll start in the morning.
I woke up and got the troops ready. We were headed home. We jumped for joy and sled to the border. Things were awesome. Until the Cockatrice showed up. I closed my eyes and used the crystal to see. Some of the others weren't so lucky. Jack was laughing at it when it turned him to stone, Dominic was confused, and a few of Kodi's friends didn't fare too well. I was so mad. We were headed home in a joyful bout of spirit and then this snake bodied chicken headed jerk has to ruin everything. "Everyone! Behind me!" I snapped. I walked up to the cockatrice and opened my eyes. "Who in the hay do you think you are buster!? You come at me and turn my friends into stone! Well listen up cause I can kick your sorry butt back into the Everfree ya hear!? Now your gonna go over there and turn my friends back to normal before I use Voidclarent to make you into the weirdest chicken salad ever! If you ever mess with my friends again I will find you and make a mop with your innards! You got that buster!?" I yelled giving the cockatrice that stare of mine that meant "You better do it before I lose my patience and kill you." There was a cracking as my partially turned to stone legs broke free. It nodded nervously turned my friends back to normal and ran off. Everyone kept a small distance away until the offending cockatrice was gone. Then they all gave me a round of applause and Hank said he had gotten it on magical video. I duplicated it until we each had a copy. We camped for the night not bothering with the lanterns and junk because I had probably scared anything away that was in a twenty mile radius. They kept watching the whole thing over and over again and a few of them repeatedly jumped back when I started yelling on screen.
The next morning the commotion had died down but they had beat me to morning chores. I laughed and made jokes with the rest of them. Apparently Hank wanted to make a movie of reasons not to mess with me. I laughed really hard at that and so did he. We got on the sled and rode to the edge of Lake Superior. When we got their the waters were turbulent because something was coming out. Really, the Hydra wants to come out now. Well then he's in for a not so little surprise. I thought. The Hydra came out and I had every one hide but me. Hank was obviously getting this on video. "Hey ya sorry excuse for a lizard!" I yelled. The Hydra got mad and went for me. I jumped onto its back. "Giddy up little lizard! You overgrown skink!" I yelled from its back. One of the heads came to grab me but I dodged causing the Hydra to bite itself. "You have the accuracy of a drunken bear!" I taunted. Now all of the heads came back. I slid down under the stomach and the heads followed. I weaved around all the legs the heads followed. With all of the heads behind me I ran out behind the Hydra causing it to flip over hogtied by its own heads. "That's what you get sucka! You can't touch this!" I teased. The others clapped and Hank stopped filming. "No body messes with my crew!" I told it. The Hydra whimpered and I noticed the raft was gone. I untied the Hydra made reigns for it and told the others to hop on. The Hydra swam us across and camped with us. I reflected on all that I had done. I left home on a crazy adventure. Got a locket full of souls. Shot an orc. Rode deer. Rode on a dog sled pulled by wolves. Saw Hank cry. Pulled a dogsled. Got to Nome. Retrieved the crystal. Proved wishes do come true. Faced down a cockatrice. Beat a Hydra. Tamed it. Have gone farther than ever and not missed Home until I was too far away to see the trees of Virginia. I thought this over and came to the conclusion that your life is what you make it. I went to sleep and dreamed about home.
I woke up to find the morning chores once again done. I got the Hydra ready for its last time carrying us. Once everyone was ready I mounted my position on the Hydra. We all got on and crossed Lake Michigan. We waved goodbye to the Hydra mounted our deer and set off for home. We got once again to Ohio's border. I now knew that Alaska was far more mournful than Ohio and did not dread going in as I had the first time. After camp was set up I went over to Hank to check on him. "How are you doing Hank?" I asked trying to detect it before his answer.
"I am so happy to be close to home but sad that the adventure is over."Hank replied.
"Hank listen to me. The journey is not over. It is never over. You will just have to journey in your dreams. Like I do. Because I journey in my dreams I was ready for our world to change. Hank do you notice how the sky is darker than when we left on the journey?" I told him.
"Yes but why?"Hank asked.
"It is because the journey is not finished. The epic battle has not happened yet. There is still more to do. I need your help. You are the most bombastic person I know. You have to make everyone hope. Hope and Light are what I will use to banish the specter. It is not as easy as saying begone and he is gone. I actually have to fight it. Ranian told me that it is not the crystal that holds the power it is me. She said that nothing can give or take power. It is what is in there..."I poked him right over his heart."... that gives us our real power. It is not wealth or looks or weapons it is what is inside of you. We all have something. Mine is that there is some friendship and love in this world that is worth fighting for. If you want to make a difference you make it not from weapons and fighting but from the goodness you hold inside of you. They can kill you but they can never kill your spirit. They cannot crush your spirit unless you let them. Never let them crush your spirit Hank. It is the best part of you. You have friends and a girlfriend I think that is worth fighting for." I replied. The words coming out of my mouth were lessons I had learned from the journeys I had taken before. The journeys I had taken in dreams. "Your life is what you make it. Make it however you wish. Right now we are going to save the world. I will make so that you return home to Margaret. Even if that means teleporting you there." I told him.
"Thank you Sami. For teaching me the truth."Hank said.
"You are welcome Hank."I replied. We went off in our separate directions and went to sleep.
I woke up to the now normal morning of not having to do chores. I mounted my deer and began to lead the group through Ohio. In Cincinnati a police officer stopped us and asked what we were doing riding deer this early in the morning. I decided to be honest and tell him the entire yarn. "Officer we are out this early on deer because we are on a journey that has taken us from Goochland county Virginia to Nome, Alaska. we were sent to retrieve the crystal that is currently in its proper place on my breastplate. We must return to Goochland to banish the specter of fear and hatred. I have traveled 10000 miles with these people and we have 4000 miles before we reach are destination. Now if you will excuse us officer we have to save the world including this city that it is your job to protect. Thank you for your service."I said in the most diplomatic way possible. He was obviously new so he let it slide. We got to the border without any more encounters with the police.
At the border there was something a little unexpected. A 6 foot tall squirrel. It sure wasn't Nutsy the Richmond Flying squirrels Mascot. Something in my memory clicked. Crap squirrels hate me!I thought. I brought our group to a halt a fair distance from the furry monstrosity. I could hear Kodi gasp. She came over and whispered the obvious fact that this squirrel didn't like me either. I dismounted and walked forward. The squirrel drew a sword with an acorn top for a hand-cover. It was challenging me to a fight. "Challenge accepted squirrely!" I yelled. The squirrel lunged I used my shield to block. I began to get in the rhythm of this dance of flashing blades and raised shields. I slipped behind the squirrel and gave it a shield bash to the back sending it flying headfirst into a tree. "I guess you can fly!"I taunted. The squirrel came forward for an overhand cut. I ducked and slid under the squirrel. I shield bashed it disarmed it and held it by the throat in the air. "Bye bye squirrel."I snarled coldly. I turned in the direction of Canada and threw the squirrel so far we couldn't see it anymore. "Say Hi to Buster for me!"I yelled. The others came out and Kodi declared my victory over the squirrels. Hank had of course videotaped that. We set up camp and I sat at the edge wondering how I had managed to travel 10000 miles in less than a month. I was soon exhausted and went to sleep.
In the morning we were in high spirits. Hank said he would use the epic final battle as his last reason not to mess with me. We all laughed and rode into west Virginia. A quarter of the way through we were met by a Chimera. I half did and half didn't want to fight the chimera. Instead of challenging me to a fight the Chimera challenged me to solve a riddle. I accepted. The riddle was: What grows when you feed it but is never full? I thought that one was easy. "A fire." The chimera said no and that I had one more chance before we would have to battle. "Greed." I said. The chimera roared and said that was correct. He disappeared. "I thought shpynx were the ones who told riddles." There were a few "me too"s then everyone burst out laughing. We continued through the state but were stopped four fifths of the way through. We were stopped by a familiar looking bunny. "Angel Bunny is that you?" I said. The bunny nodded and signaled for me to draw my sword. Angel signaled for me to put him on the deer too. I did that and we rode on when night fell angel showed us to a cottage on the border that was exceedingly familiar to me on the. It hadn't been there last time. I took a second look and I asked Angel "Is that Fluttershy's cottage?" He nodded. This is getting weirder by the minute. First Twilight and Spike then a cockatrice then Angel bunny now Fluttershy's cottage. What's next? Discord? I thought. Angel had us dismount and go inside. It was just like I had last seen it in my dream, but where was Fluttershy? We heard the sound of flapping wings and the shy Pegasus greeted us. I gave her a big hug, which startled her at first but she calmed down. "Fluttershy. Why are you on the border between West Virginia and Virginia? I am happy to see you but this is shocking." I said letting her go.
"Oh my house materialized here with Angel and I inside it. I cannot quite remember your name but Sami told us about you and your world. Will you need to sleep here for the night?" Fluttershy asked in her distinctively soft voice.
"We do need to sleep over thank you Fluttershy. My name is the same as Sami's. Sami and the others call me original because I dreamed them into existence. I watch your adventures with Sami sometimes while I sleep. You can call me anything you like."I replied trying not to be too loud.
"You're welcome. I think I'll call you original to. Are these your friends?" Fluttershy said.
"Well my friends are Hank, Jack, Brandt, Dominic, Hunter, and Tom. That is my older sister Kodi and those are her friends."I replied pointing to the people as I said their name.
"Nice to meet all of you. Original could you come with me for a minute? We need to talk."Fluttershy said her normally light and airy tone becoming serious.
"Sure Fluttershy."I replied not changing my tone at all. I followed her up the steps into a meeting room. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Derpy, and Applejack were seated at the table. Fluttershy took a seat and gestured for me to sit between Applejack and Rainbow dash.
"You all know what we are here to discuss correct?" Twilight said in her regular tone of let's do this.
"All except for our latest addition." Fluttershy said in her regular tone once again.
"Good. I can explain it to her."Twilight said. Rarity's face looked grave and a could not tell if it was because she had to sit across from Applejack, the things we were about to discuss were unsettling, or my outfit. I was a little nervous because when you have the mane six and Derpy at the meeting it is usually serious business.
"Listen Sami. We know that you can save the world but we need some help. Some of the humans don't understand that we are peaceful creatures. We need you to convince them. After you save the world people will listen to you. You need to persuade them into thinking that the magical creatures now inhabiting their land are okay. Your family accepted us very quickly including spike. I have looked through your books and I can sense that you like adventure. When I looked at your drawings I saw that even from a young age you did not believe that knights were good and dragons were bad. You believed that everything and everyone has a choice to be good or bad. We need you to convince others of that as well. We are here to discuss whether or not to come with you to save the world." Twilight explained in her scholarly manner.
"I understand your angle Princess. I also know that in my world there are four types of people. People like me who love you guys, people who secretly like you, people who don't know you exist, and people who hate you. I rid myself of hate long ago because I didn't like to hate. I also don't like to see people hate on each other. In this world there are rules but there are also people who break those rules. Most humans fear what they do not understand. They do not understand you ponies and your logic so some of them are scared. Some humans mask their fear with hatred. I think you should help me save the world so that people will see that you are good and friendly."I explained to Twilight who was shocked. "My point is Princess most humans are greedy and only care for themselves and their money. When the English settlers came here in 1607 they called the Native Americans savages because they did not understand them. They burned and raided villages. They killed innocent people. Before 1865 in the south black people were kept as slaves because of the color of their skin. People now are racist and make up jokes about people who aren't the same. As a little kid I was teased in school because I was taller than the others, I wear different clothes, and I act differently than others. Humanity is a tainted species. Our history is full of chaos war and strife. We celebrate a man who didn't find our country first and killed many natives for gold they did not have. I try to be a light in the darkness but people always try to put out my light. You will not be accepted as intelligent until we humans have a war over it. I need to create a few empty universes where we can leave this word behind. I am tired of this constant fighting, shooting, bombing, murder, suicide, hate, greed, torment, and evil. I will save this world but then we are leaving it behind. We will go to an new place and start over. My friends and their families will come. We need to leave this world behind."I said in a tone that challenged someone to argue.
"Well that settles it. We're all saving the world and leaving."Rainbow dash commented.
"Sugar-cube humans don't seem as bad as you described based on yer family. Ah think ya need to give 'em a second chance."Applejack suggested in her unmistakeable draw.
"Applejack I know what you mean but I given them about a million chances and they've let me down every time. I am a human and if they've failed to prove themselves to another one of their species I doubt they'll do anything different for another species. My family is odd and you have not seen my cousin yet. If you had seen him he would have started a fight a minute into your visit. I promise you that. The only one of you he liked when he watched the show was Fluttershy. He failed to notice Derpy at all and he tolerated most of the rest. He absolutely hated you Rainbow. My point is that humankind in this dimension has excluded most of the good people that are in it. We are gonna save the world and then slide on out."I said.
"Darling you cannot be serious. The one major problem I see with humans is their taste based on your family. No offense intended. You must try to get along."Rarity intoned.
"Oh Rarity I am not offended. If you took one look at human fashion you would call it a crime." I replied giving her a look that told her I could teleport a magazine in front of her. She replied with a look of do it. So I did it. She took one look screamed and fainted. "Warned you Rarity." I told her.
"What is so bad about that magazine?"Twilight inquired.
"Darling they are hardly covering what needs to be covered. Now I can see why Sami prides her low fashion sense."Rarity replied in a disgusted tone.
"So what do we do?" Derpy asked.
"We save the world and leave. When we get to our new universe it will warrant a pinkie pie party." I replied seeing Pinkie's head shoot up at the mention of a party. They all looked at me. "Meeting adjourned." I said and stood up. I headed downstairs to find the group asleep. I found a place among them and fell asleep to.
When I woke up my world was upside down. I was also not in the cottage anymore. I looked around. I saw the cottage a few feet off. Whoever had done this was also ridiculous enough to not take any of my weapons. I saw a few familiar faces although they were not doing whatever I was because they were not right side up the way I saw things but then again neither was the cottage. "Twilight was this your idea of a funny joke? Cause it's not that funny to me." I snarled.
"Oh my I am so scared of you. No this was Fluttershy's idea. Of course it was my idea. Listen we hung you upside down so we could talk." Twilight answered. She was practicing sarcasm after all.
"Nice job Twilight you finally grasped the art of sarcasm. I am so surprised. Not. Now if your majesty would please quench my thirst for knowledge. How exactly do you expect to make me talk?" I inquired. Twilight frowned. I smiled and laughed.
"Oh Twilight can I please tell her? Please Please." A familiar hyperactive voice questioned.
"Okay Pinkie you can tell her." Twilight replied. I already knew they would try Pinkie.
"Oh do tell Pinkie. The suspense is killing me." I said layering on the sarcasm thicker than the icing on the MMM.
"So Twilight hung you upside down and we all thought up the most annoying things we could do and we are going to try and make you talk." Pinkie explained completely disregarding the level of sarcasm around her.
"Rainbow goes first because she asked. I only wonder how much you can stand."Twilight said. Rainbow began to swing the classic gold watch to hypnotize me into talking. Twilight let that happen for ten minutes with no effect before going on to Pinkie. I simply paid no attention to what she was saying and began to imagine escape plans. Soon Twilight couldn't stand it any longer and switched to Fluttershy who made the most adorable face. I simply refused to talk, laugh, gasp, yawn, or anything. My face was a set serious expression. Twilight became vexed and told Applejack it was her turn. Applejack swung her rope around which gave me an idea. While the next pony goes I will magically use Applejack's rope to tangle their legs and then resist until the last pony goes. The next pony was Derpy. Derpy talked all about muffins while I did my thing with Applejack's rope. Next was Twilight. She tried to make me crack by reading a book the literary history of Equestria. To bad for her I love history and literature. Next was Rarity. She whined until Rainbow and Applejack told her to put a sock in it. "How did you not even sweat during all of that?" Twilight asked so annoyed.
"What. Did you say something? I wasn't paying attention."I replied annoying Twilight even further. I cut my rope and bolted. When Twilight and the others finally got their hooves untangled. I stood there and used magic to hold all the rope there was."I can use magic Twilight and I have a sword. Now if you'll excuse me I have a world to save and then ditch."I said. Then I gathered the group and made for home the ponies right behind me.
We got halfway to Richmond before something else came up. There was a flipping snorlax in our way and the road was named route twelve. Can this day get any more annoying? I thought. I wished I hadn't after we got over the snorlax. Next annoying challenge in our way: Justin flipping Bieber. Hank went up to him and said this:"Your music sucks and your fans are worse. Get a new job once my friend has saved the world." Then we walked on. There were still more challenges and I got the feeling that if I attacked any of the challenges with weapons something big would come. I went to the next challenge which was fashion. I decided that the challenge was to make a dress I would leave it to Rarity. She passed. The next challenge was partying. Pinkie let it out and partied hard. She broke the whole thing. There was magic duel which I let Twilight do. After the successful duel was a coolest face contest which I left to Derpy. Derp face to the rescue. The marathon was Rainbow dashed to bits. The rope trick contest was Applejack smacked. The modeling was a Fluttershy fly-by. Last but not least was an accent changing contest. It could have sworn I was not the same person every time. After those challenges we were a team and I was the leader.
We got to Richmond and dropped every single person but Hunter, the ponies, Kodi, the deer, and I off. I fulfilled the promise I had made to Hank that one night in Alaska. We dropped Hunter off at his house with his family and headed home. When we got there all the chaos possible broke loose. There were monsters and everything. I knew what I had to do. I just had no idea how. I questioned all existence and came to an answer. Life is real but you can change it. Hope is real and it's in the heart. Light is what comes from friendship and caring. Courage is not given it is made. Happiness is what makes live livable. Love comes from family and friends. Strength comes not from ones muscles but from ones spirit. I am the embodiment of these things and nothing including death will keep me from helping my friends, my family, random people, and the whole world. I will never refuse a request for aid and right now the world's request is a pending comment on the blog that is my life. How will I have the strength to accept it? I am only twelve and I went from Goochland to Nome and back fighting monsters and facing trials the whole way through. Never once on my twelve thousand mile journey from Virginia to Alaska and back did I give up hope. With that on my belt along with a sheath that is holding Voidclarent I am the hero of a twelve year olds dreams. That twelve year old who brought more spice into life than anyone I know of is me, and my dream is gonna have a happy ending.
I lifted Voidclarent and focused on shooting out all of the light I could muster. It was then that the battle begun. The specter materialized into a prince charming in shining armor and my light materialized into a dragon. I flew high to avoid the sword strokes of the prince. He called upon archers but I had flown beneath him now. I flapped my wings in an upward motion causing a wind that knocked both the archers and the prince off their feet. I shot a jet of flame and eliminated his archers. This was a strategy game for me. It was the most serious strategy game I had ever played. There were no second chances. If I lost that was it and we were done for. I focused and my dragon got bigger, stronger, faster, and more dragon-like. I dodged his crossbow bolt and realized that my best defense was to keep where I could attack him but he couldn't get at me I concentrated so hard that the dragon became the dragon that I knew and loved and I gave it a bow and arrows. The difference was that my dragons arrows were the size of javelins whereas the prince had standard crossbow bolts capable of getting between my scales and my armor. I knew my dragon would have friends so I imagined a whole ton of manticores to keep the prince's troops busy. It was like any fight. The smarter one will win, and I was the smarter one. My dragon shot a flaming arrow that just barely missed the prince. It caught the princes hair on fire. While the prince tried to extinguish his flaming hair my dragon grabbed him. "The murderer in shining armor isn't winning this time"I said and it came out of the dragons mouth. The prince stabbed my dragon's claw and my dragon dropped him. Apparently prince charming forgot he couldn't fly. I had won. I had defeated the specter and banished it forever more.
The End
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Ooooh....wow, need to breath. Okay, that was huge. I'm tackling this for the Head of a Wild Boar badge that's how long this is. So my first advice would be to break this up into shorter posts. Like, two to three chapters per post. That would be a much better length.
Yes, I am a Hylian at heart.
Please take this as constructively as possible. I am not trying to shred this piece (if I were I could be much worse and much harsher).
All right, for the first two chapters, your switch from first person in the dream to first person in reality left me really confused until I figured out what you were doing. The transition was also really rough. I was NOT expecting it, and that bump hurt. Also, you have way too much "tell" in those paragraphs. Show me things, don't just tell me. And I needed more dialogue between Storm and Razorwing. You didn't do much with them at all!
In chapter three, that whole alternate dimensions thing was just too sudden. You didn't foreshadow or anything on it, and suddenly there's tons of 'yous' everywhere (by the way, trying to read that is really awkward and difficult. I'm still kind of lost. What are all these other dimensions you're referencing? I get that they're other dimensions, but you have specific names for them that don't have any precedent in the story).
Fourth chapter, why are we suddenly going to Richmond? Where were we to begin with? I feel like there's a ton of inside information that isn't being talked about, like you and people that know you in real life have an idea of what's going on, but an outsider would have no clue. And the one quote I plan on commenting on: "In simple terms that means I need to find a magical crystal to fight off evil junk." Why is this even here? You already said as much in the preceding sentences. I want you to read that and consider this: that is what your entire story is about. That one sentence. I could stop reading now and already know the ending. "Needed: one magical item of ultimate power that isn't evil because it's the only item that can dispel all even (which can only be done through the main character). Found by main character: one magical item of ultimate power that isn't evil and dispels all evil because of its purity. Beaten: all evil by this one magical item (wielded by the main character) of ultimate power that isn't evil because it's the only thing that can dispel all evil." That, in effect, is the entire summary of your story, as given by that one sentence (although elaborated from previously given information). Note: at this point I'm reviewing as I go, so I haven't even read the ending yet. But I wonder how far off the mark that will be?
Fifth chapter, all I can say is that I'm seriously growing tired of your Mary Sue main character (who, by the way, I'm not sure what her name is. Is it Sami? I'm really lost). And I feel like crying at the ignorance of your main character. The answer to that riddle is so obvious a five year old could solve it. How old is your MC again? Twelve? She's got to have more of a brain than that.
Read this article. Please. http://www.springhole.net/writing/whatisamarysue.htm You need to fix your Mary Sue.
Sixth chapter, "If one deity held our fate we would all have the same life, the same wishes, and the same dreams." I did not plan on using any more quotes, but this one just about killed me. My brain is still malfunctioning trying to process that. If one deity controlled our fate then every fate would be the same...Ow. Owowowowow. *grips head* That hurts, that really, really hurts. Please stop. Make it stop! 2001-A Space Odyssey. Okay, sci-fi reference over.
Simple logic test for this one line (before I start crying in philosophic agony). Let's assume, for a moment, that there is only One God in reality. I am a guy. I have a sister. My fate will be entirely different than my sister's because I'm older, I'm doing things differently than she is, and I can't do some things that she can (biologically it's just not possible). So therefore my fate CANNOT BE the same as hers. I will not die the same day she does. I will marry a girl, not a guy. I will have an entirely different job than she will. I hope that explains why I'm in mental agony.
And biggest question for this chapter: why are we ferrying people across Lake Michigan one at a time when we somehow got superspeed travelling on our deer (Ohio takes forever, but by gum we're through Indiana in a heartbeat. Oh, and somehow all these young people know how to build a log raft with twine and such instead of commandeering a metal boat like most normal superheroes do)? You do realize there's an Interstate that goes straight into Canada from Lower Michigan, right? Crossing two lakes is completely unnecessary.
Seventh chapter, one question: how many people are with your main character? You just had a dogsled go the entire length of CANADA in one day. Seriously??? Wow.
Okay, two questions. And another quote: "I duplicated the thermos until we had two for each person and shrunk them to pocket size although the amount of hot chocolate inside did not change." *rubs forehead* Where are your laws of physics? I don't care if you shrank it to the size of a pea. If you don't shrink the amount of hot chocolate to be proportional to the new size of the thermos, you're going to have a big mess from all the excess hot chocolate. I understand what you're trying to do, but this needs to be worded better. Otherwise I'm just going to think of this big blob of excess hot chocolate hanging in the air that falls and splatters everywhere when you shrink the thermos. Kind of like a cartoon, if you know what I mean.
Okay, so maybe a third: "Actually Sami told me it is a 99.999% chance that I will get back. For her it is a 75% chance. She says she has a higher risk of dying because any assassins will be going for her only." Actually Sami never said anything of the sort. And those percentages are seriously in the good guys' favor (which means they're actually 100% in their favor), despite you saying earlier that the odds weren't in their favor.
Eighth chapter, one phrase-deus ex machina. "Just when my group thought I was dead and the world was screwed there was an explosion. the dust cleared and I was standing there like nothing had happened." That is the textbook example of deus ex machina. Why was there an explosion?
Ninth chapter. *sheds a tear* Why did the main character not see that at the beginning when she got the riddle in the first place? WHY??? It took her a whole thirty seconds of devoted thought!
Tenth chapter, you had this concept earlier but it struck me once again when I read this "Ranian told me that it is not the crystal that holds the power it is me." Then WHY does she need the stupid crystal in the first place? (That's what the earlier one was: when Rainan tells her she, not the crystal, holds the power, why does she keep going after the crystal?)
"They do not understand you ponies and your logic so some of them are scared." Logic has to make sense; just because someone doesn't understand something doesn't mean they're scared of it.
And then I was beyond tears with your main character condemning the very species she is. "I am a human" and yet she's condemning all humans (except herself) for all these evil atrocities, as if humans aren't capable of being both good and bad. (She claims that everything can choose both good and bad; however, she fails to mention whether that's a one time decision or a minute-by-minute decision. How many times does a human choose to be good or evil?)
Last thing for this chapter: they're all going to save the world, then leave it alone and go to a Utopia that they're going to create. Wow, someone hasn't watched Tron:Legacy. The whole point of that movie is...you know what? I'm just going to let you watch it. Go watch it, and then you should understand what I'm trying to say.
Eleventh chapter. Okay, I found most of the lack of information tolerable until this chapter. Why in the world did the ponies tie the main character upside down to make her talk? What was that? And then she escapes but suddenly they're all friends again???
And those challenges were seriously retarded. Snorlax gets awoken with a Pokeflute and y'all move on, then you have this shout-out hater moment with Justin Bieber (and yet this story's somehow entirely about not hating and spreading the love? *coughs* Hypocrisy *coughs*). And then this blur of I don't know what to call it but a major Fail.
Last quote (I seriously hope): "Courage is not given it is made." Not unless you are the Hero of Time.
Twelfth (and FINAL) chapter: ..."I focused and my dragon got bigger, stronger, faster, and more dragon-like." That is THE LAST QUOTE I'm touching. Look at my username, then look back at this review. How, exactly, does a dragon become more dragon-like? *bares fangs and growls* You either got it, or you don't. And why does a DRAGON need a bow and arrows? You have claws, a biological flamethrower, wings, and massive claws. Who needs a pathetic little stick thrower? Dragon roar, dragon kill.
Wow, that ending caught me by such surprise I figured it out with one sentence in the fourth chapter. This story needs a ton of improvement, and I hope this review helps to gain that needed level of improvement.
In loyal service to literary quality,
Drago, I have a few things to say to you miss. GREAT JOB!!! This 12 chapter book blew me away! I also enjoyed the ponies that you incorporated. I get a little feeling inside like you actually know them *wink wink* Anyway you did an awesome job such a good one that you are officially published into t he Whats New and Whats Not Gossiper! Congrats, as a gift to congratulate you enjoy your 300 points, oh and don't go spending that all in one dimension! Seriously, you'll get robbed
XD My favorite part had to be when the ponies hung you upside down and when Hank chewed Justin Beiber out. I found NO spelling or grammar mistakes at all and to think you did it all is amazing. Keep writing and I'm confident that some day your gonna make a boss author bro!