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Life is a journey

by Dragofriend1234


A million questions no answer

a million quests and adventures

a million thoughts

a million dreams

a million chances and

a million things

some of these will fade away

but the rest are here to stay

there may be a million days

a million choices

and a million ways

a million paths for you to walk

a million people to whom you will talk

but among these millions

each one is special

in it's own way

Life is a journey we must take

filled with regrets

and mistakes to make

Taken with friends

like you and me

in a group

or lonely

A million miles are filled with dread

a million more with hope instead

a million still with heavy hearts

a million relationships falling apart

Hatred and fear will turn you away

and you wont hear the words love has to say

but like the sun starting every day

friendship and hope will steer you my way

Life is a journey we must take

filled with regrets

and mistakes to make

Taken with friends

like you and me

in a group

or lonely

Loss and grief find us all one day

but friends will support you the whole way

Life has its highs

and life has its lows

but you can determine how your journey goes

if pick yourself up and try again

you can be among noble men

yes you can

Life is a journey we must take

filled with regrets

and mistakes to make

Taken with friends

like you and me

in a group

or lonely

Oh lonely

lonely


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221 Reviews


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Sun Oct 27, 2013 5:56 pm
Vivian wrote a review...



Hey Dragon.

Love your poem, so-philosophical. "Life Is a Journey", that's a nice way of thinking about it. Especially since the journey is worth more than the destination. Your descriptions were great, you described "Life" perfectly well, with all it's faults and all it's goods. I really see anything wrong with this poem, so keep writing. :)




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Sun Sep 29, 2013 3:07 pm
chancesnchanges wrote a review...



Hi! Dragofriend1234..

As a whole it is interesting. "Life is a journey." It is something that all of us can relate to. Which might have started with a question. That leads us find the ones who can make or break us. A time where we can obtain the ones who will stay by our side through ups and downs. Challenges arise but as long as their is someone to guide us, positively, through it all we'll be able to make it. Thus, it is said that "No Man is an Island."

I, also, like when you repeated some lines emphasizing your main point. But I'm quite confused that it's a bit sad on the latter part =3 . Because what I got from your piece is that among the millions in this world, we are able to know ourselves more. =^)

Keep going..




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131 Reviews


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Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:35 pm
chancesnchanges says...



Explore and Live =^) ..




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Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:32 am
dragonfphoenix wrote a review...



Knight Dragon, here to review on Review Day.

Since this is lyrical,
"a million chances and
a million things"
if you put "and" in the next line, then the rhythm feels better and the two lines match.

"a million relationships falling apart", if you changed "relationships" to "friendships", it would flow a little better.

Other than that, it feels pretty good. Good job, and keep it up.

Hope this helps!




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Sun Sep 29, 2013 1:50 am
Blackwood wrote a review...



Ok let me give you a quick rundown on formatting a song. If you are following a pop music structure or anything along that lines, yo should have the following indications.

Chorus

Verse X

Bridge (if applicable.)

Also into and coda if applicable.


For the contents. I'm finding it hard to read it because of how you laid it out. Often in songs the lines are separated by the comma and the line break is separated when the chord changes, rather than the phrase.

I feel this song is uplifting but at the same time you end on a sad note. Why do you end on the word lonely when you are trying to sing about friends? It feels sort of sad how you are saying, you need to be taken into a group or else you are lonely to your friend. The idea works well but considering your intentions of this song does it work well?

Your English is a little crude in some areas.

if pick you yourself up and try again
Look at the phrasing of other liens too an you will notice they sound a little funny.

Anyway, good job, future reviews would much appreciate this if you go and format it into a more compact version.





Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
— Mark Twain