Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
The Romance of the Reaper
I've been overcome by an obsession
For a heart of which I cannot claim possession
Written in this sickening sin is the dedication preaching my love
Do not be scared, all that I want is to protect you from this world's tantalizing touch
Why do you run?
I've been overcome by an obsession
For a heart of which I cannot claim possession
And I care not about the repercussions
Of feeding this poisonous passion
I cannot ignore this coarse force torturing me anymore
Leave my bashful body bloodied on the floor, make me into your little whore
Why do I run?
I've been overcome by an obsession
For a heart of which I cannot claim possession
And I care not about the repercussions
Of feeding this poisonous passion
Over you I watch, for without you, I am lost
Your enemies I stalk, on the hunt for their blood
Through fire and frost I'll persevere for this lust
For you are my God and I'm the Christ nailed to the cross
I've been overcome by an obsession
For a heart of which I cannot claim possession
And I care not about the repercussions
Of feeding this poisonous passion
You are my love
To you I will devote my soul
You are my lust
Until the day my eyes forever close
You are my God
With this act of violence, I protect you from the cold
I care not about the repercussions that may unfold
Sorry for the whacky spacing. I cannot seem to get the website to register my all of my spaces when I publish a piece. If anybody knows why this is, please tell me!
Written by Daniel Loughlin on May 21, 2016.
Inspired by an actual experience in my life and written to a beat similar to that of "Made of Stone" by Evanescence.
Hello again! This song is probably the most personal and blunt piece I have ever written. Written at the end of a two-month period of writer's block, this was inspired by a stalker situation I faced at school right near the end of my senior year. Thankfully, nothing bad happened, but the girl did actually threaten to kill me at one point, which is when I got guidance even more involved than they already were. This song is written from the perspective of an obsessed stalker (not necessarily the girl who was stalking me, as I don't think she was as twisted as I made the stalker in my song seem). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this piece! :)
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hi there! This was a very intriguing read. To star, I think some punctuation is necessary in this piece. It ran into itself, so it could use a little clarity there. The last stanza could also be split into two stanzas. The flow would be cleaner that way. If you need help with spacing stanzas I know how to fix that. Your use of alliteration and word choice is very thoughtful. This has a very artistic and poetic vibe to it despite the topic, which offers a good contrast. In fact, it reminds me of gothic writing such as Edgar Allen Poe. The use of repetition was also very nice when starting the stanzas similarly. This piece is cleverly crafted with lots of emotions present. It has a prominent mood to it. The use of italics is also great in creating emphasis. Your piece is very well written and I enjoyed the theme and the mood of it. Keep writing!
-thecolorofthesky
Thanks for the honest review! Could you please tell me how to correct the spacing? It has takin a hold of the steering wheel and is currently driving me to the nearest asylum lol. I'm a bit confused as to what you mean exactly by it needs punctuation. Where? I'm fairly certain I added proper punctuation, but I may be wrong. Anyway, I am flattered that you compare this to Gothic writing such as the work of Edgar Allan Poe (he is most definitely my favorite writer), so thank you very much for that! Thank you, once again, for the honest and constructive review!
@thecolorofthesky
Of course! Believe me, I know. I had trouble creating stanzas and almost lost my mind. In the publishing center when you are editing your poem you should see a button on the tool bar area that looks like </>. Click on that. It should bring you to a black page with your text on it. At the end of the line you want a space on, go to the <p> below it and type <br/> next to it.
For example:
I am a thief of rocks,
<p>
a thief of memories.
<p> <br/>
When I walk with you,
<p>
So the <p> will already be there. I would take already exsisting spaces out and do this. Hope it helped. Let me know if you need anything else!
Hello there! Here to review for ya!
Beautifully written. That's the first thing that came to mind upon reading this.
The emotions emitted from this piece were quite solemn and sad in my opinion. I'm glad nothing serious happened during - what I would imagine was - a very frightening time for you. I couldn't imagine being stalked by someone. o_o But of course, you have to feel some sense of remorse for this stalker in some aspect. You describe the desire as a "poisonous passion" which I think is an amazing and beautiful way to describe a dangerous urge. I can feel that, on a certain level, you really sympathize with this person. Maybe even pity them, perhaps?
This stalker seems sadly provoked and succumbed to their own dark selves that the want and need for... well, you is almost crucial to their existence. This is a heavy emotion that comes through very obviously in your piece and that creates a nice, dark undertone which I frankly enjoy a lot.
As personal as you described it as, I'm glad you were able to express and share it with us in such a poetic and artistic way. I always say music and literature are the best ways to express your emotions and thoughts, and you prove that statement to be all the more true.
Lovely, lovely, lovely!
Happy writing, my fellow author.
You really nailed it on the head with this review. Indeed, even though the girl was stalking me, I don't harbor any hard feelings towards her. As a matter of fact, we used to be friends (it's a long story) at the beginning of the school year, but then she developed this obsession. I tried to persevere for a while, and attempted to get her to stop it (as I could see that it may get seriously bad), and even though she told me numerous times she would stop, she never did. Eventually, I decided that the only way to get her to give it up would be to end the friendship, so I got guidance involved, and they kept her away from me for the rest of the year. I don't harbor any hard feelings towards her because she is still really young (a freshman), and I see it more as her going through a stage (one in which she just needed the right guidance to get through alright). I now know I was being naive, but I learned my lesson, and in the end, that's what happens when you just really want to help people. Thank you so much for the praise for my writing.
@SARAHJO