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142,224 Literary Works • 677,044 Reviews
Hey, DoormanDan! VegasLights here for a review!
I like the lyrics and everything, but that vocabulary. Me being a simple person I didn't understand mot of the words you used, but I like that. I like it because it adds a twist to things, it isn't just an ordinary poem. I like your style, and I hope to see more of it.
You know what else would be great? Hearing this on audio because then we would know the rhythm. I do love this though, I mean your vocab is interesting and so are the lyrics. Sadly, all reviews must come to an end and here is the end of this one. I hope you have a great day and I thank you for your time.
~Keep Writing!~
VegasLights
(Previously Steam1244)
Hey, VegasLights! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts on this piece! I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed my usage of more....unusual words. One goal of mine is to make writing that challenges people on an intellectual level (in the form of getting them to expand their vocabulary and consider things on a more symbolic level). Unfortunately. I don't have an original tune for these lyrics, but if you want to hear the song beat that I mostly wrote this to, search up Young Guns; Die on Time. It's a slow song, but I think it's a pretty good one, and the album it's from is highly underrated. Thanks for reading!
Thanks for responding!
Legacy here for a review.
I like the content of your lyrics, but the average person wouldn't understand your vocabulary. If you are trying to get the approval of the public, you might want to use smaller vocabulary so that they can understand what you mean (but you don't have to if you don't want to).
I would love to hear this played with an instrument (I imagine it being played with a piano or a guitar).
I think you have great content but the vocabulary might be hard for some to understand. Some little editing and then you have a final draft. Legacy.
Hey, Thisislegacy. Thanks for reading! True, the average person isn't going to understand half the words I use in my writing, but that's just how my style is. My goal is to both improve my poetry and find the most creative usage of the English language that I can (I'm inspired by writers like Edgar Allan Poe). There are so many awesome words out there, it would be a shame not to try and use them! Once again, thanks for reading. I appreciate it.