Smile

Hey! I'm here to review your poem! Sorry this is short ;-;

"they look sad."
This seemed a little plain. I know you can do better. Try adding more descriptions. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms to 'sad'. It's the same for other words as well. Poetry is it's best when it has great imagery, words and flow. The punctuation in this poem is a little off, so try reading this out loud and adding commas and removing spaces in between words and period/commas.

Hope this helped,
Alice ♥

Hello! Fandomsnmusic here to give you a review.


As Eros said, this is a deep piece! It seems to have really come straight from your heart. A number of people end up having trouble keep the flow when they try a free verse poem, but you did just fine! You flow is good, your grammar is good, and so many of the words you used were perfect for the lines. I didn't see very many errors, but there are a few, and I'd like to tell you a couple things that I would do differently.


There's no spelling errors, so you're good there.


You have just a few punctuation errors such as the line, "Between my fake and genuine" the period had a space before it, but that's minor.

Another thing I'd like to point out is that most of the time you punctuate your sentences but sometimes you don't. In the first stanza, each line is punctuated properly up until the last line, "Or maybe I'm just imagining things". You didn't punctuate it, but in my opinion it should definitely have a question mark at the end.

While we're talking about things along the line of, "Most of the time you do, but sometimes you don't" sometimes you capitalize words that are in the middle of a sentence just because they're in a new line. If you're doing that, then every word that starts the sentence should be capitalized or just the ones that are supposed to.

I feel like you could change a few words to make more appealing-looking word phrases. Anniepoo103 makes a point there when she says you could change some of the words to make them more interesting. Instead of using plainer words, you could use better-describing words to prove your points.

The last thing I'd like to point out is that the first two stanzas are 7 lines, and then the other two have 11 lines and 13 lines. I think you should separate the second two stanzas to make a total of six stanzas.


So altogether you did a great job getting your idea through, but I think it could have been just a small bit clearer. I really enjoyed this poem, Fangirl!



Never stop writing, ever!
fandomsnmusic

This poem is amazing. I can relate to it myself. I like the way you wrote it. I feel like maybe you could change a few things though ( not saying you have to but, this is just the way I would do it)
Where you said "I'm not smart or happy or beautiful" I might have made the words to where they are a bit more interesting.
I would have said something like this: They think I'm smart, I can hear the words tingling in my ears. I have deceived them for, I am not smart, happy or beautiful"
I honestly really like your poem, though. I hope this is not out of experience, from what I have seen you are a nice person. If you ever need anything just let me know. You are an amazing writer.
Have an amazing day

- Anne Throckmorton

Heeeeeeeeey!
I feel so honored and distinguished to be reviewing your work!
Coming to the poem I like the theme as it is very close to reality. I think this is the story of every teenage girl! We do what others want us to do, just for getting attention and slowly we make a replica of ourselves which in a matter of time takes over us!
It's such a shame on the part of society for changing us into someone we definitely are not!

I liked your poem, but i think a few touches here and there would make me love it! A bit of grammar touch ups. I also have this suggestion for the last line-
Instead of "which no one will ever understand." I think "which no one will ever bother to understand", shows more pain.

Now, let me give you a long list of my favorite parts of this poem!
1) the Theme.
2)"There is a smile plastered on her face," the use of 'plaster' in this line is just amazing!
3)"And whenever I get that complement I congratulate myself,
for being able to master my “pretty” smile."
Seriously, this line has got such a painful taste of sarcasm. I would call it the soul of this
poem.
4) Despite any rhyme scheme this poem flows beautifully, which gives it its own essence of uniqueness.
5)Lastly, this poem is relatable, it's no personal story or misery of one person, it expresses a common dilemma, which just makes it "PERFECT!"

Lastly, bohot badiya likhi hai tune but ekad bar aur padh le toh tujhe thodi kuchh galatiyan pata chal jayengi. Major galti nahi hai but 2nd stanza mein thoda grammatical errors hai jiske karan flow bigad raha hai.

Aur poem ne to yar, "manme emotions jaga diye!"

So proud of you!!
Lots of love and best of regards!!

Hey!! Hope you are doing fine. This poem is excellent and it really has got emotions. It clearly reflects you feelings when people praise you. Yes, it's true that there are thousands of story hidden behind a fake smile and sometimes we wish that someone could see through it and ask me "Are you really smiling?" But whatever the situation is with you just keep on smiling, believe in yourself and be strong. You are stronger and smarter than you think. Overall this poem has got an excellent touch of emotions.

But there are some mistakes you have made while typing this and maybe you didn't notice.

"She is the one who is KNOW for her sense of humor"
Here the word"KNOWN" should have been here instead of know.
Secondly when you introduce a new line in poem it should start with a capital letter
Like this,
"Each one of it has got a story behind it"

But the line which I liked the most while I was going through this poem is
"There is a smile plastered on her face"
It's heart touching.

You have done a great job. Keep writing and be strong.

Mahvash.

Hello, dear Fangirl!!

I am Eros here to review your really deep poem, "Smile".

When I read your poem, the very stanza suggests me that the girl who is staring at you blankly is the mirror image of yourself. The plastered smile suggests that you are going through a deep pain, but don't want to tell anyone about it. You are trying to hide the sorrow behind your smile, you are trying to drown the sadness in the deep dimples on your cheeks, and you are successful in doing so. You are saying that you cannot burry the sadness inside you anymore. Sometimes you feel that people could see the sadness which you hide behind your smile.

Please forgive me if I make any wrong interpretation.

I liked the poem. It is very deep, and emotional. I loved it. The choice of words was very beautiful.
Keep writing...
Never cease...
because we all love to keep reading your works.