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125,010 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
Hello,
You have a very interesting form of writing, one that I do not see on here a lot. that being said, i would take the time to give this work a title. if you give it a title, people are more likely to view your work.
This poem makes me think of abuse. So many times people get so brought down that they feel if they leave, they are truly ' flying into the end of the world'. For a lot of people, they do not think that there is something out there. I see that down below this comment, this poem was seen as a way to think about society. While that is interesting, the reader should know what you, the WRITER was thinking. Adding a little bit more depth would surely improve your work. The fact that you did not use you/your/you're makes your work that much better. Keep up the good work, if you ever add any more depth to this poem. let me know and I would be willing to give you some more advice concerning it if you would like.
- Anne
I see this piece through a political stance--it's almost satirical in a way. Patriarchal societies can be extremely oppressive and I can almost imagine women "flying into the end of the world and hoping to a prayer..." that they will be free of their sufferings. It is satirical because, though not humorous, it calls out an issue found still today. Ethos is greatly established in your work; I feel a connection to the message I receive from your tone.