Nice job methinks. It is not my style of writing but I will be impartial in judgement. The repetition leads me to believe that the persona of this poem has had a rough time with drugs in his/her society. By saying running through the rivers, I can see that drugs have infiltrated almost all layers of society, so much so that it seems to be everywhere.
Suggestions:
Capitalization should be used for all sentence starters as it just seems....let's say less of the poem it could be.
Punctuation is a minor issue also, as there is hardly any emotional effect without using punctuation. Adding an exclamation mark may just make this short poem much better.
All in all, nice message and portrayal of this rampant issue. Keep writing.
-Jevan
Points: 281
Reviews: 23
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