look at those aliens, aliens, aliens.
they're a hot mess rock and roll band,
going around probing everyone in this land.
you know where.
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140,763 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
Hey, I'm here to leave short review.
The sentiment of looking at aliens is a funny one, imo, and repeating the word aliens makes it funnier. I don't know if that's your intention here though, but it's worth considering.
I'm pretty sure you're missing an of between mess and rock, because it looks slightly nonsensical otherwise. Is this some sort of criticism to rock-and-roll band, in regards to their appearance? I thought it is, but the third line makes me think of something else.
So we are lead to believe the stalkish nature of aliens, which can be true if they're simply probing us all this time but we don't know because they have some concealment technology or something. But the confusing word is that why probe everyone, instead of everything? How do you probe someone without them knowing you are doing so? Like, that action seems to be intimate to me.
The last line is mysterious 100%. It makes me think there's a bigger meaning in this poem, and that perhaps there are metaphors that I miss. That being said, while I don't 100% understand this poem, it's nice for it not to be a cliche alien poem and allow readers to make their own interpretations instead of spelling it out to them.
And that is all! Keep up the good job!
Hello this is Lives4Christ24 who is here for another review.
I hope I don't offend or make you upset, my intent is to provide writers with constructive criticism.
This poem is short and is only a little longer than a haiku, I would recommend making it longer or having it become a haiku by simplifying it.
I'm not sure I entirely understand this poem. I think that it seems to be a conspiracy theory kind of poem. I usually read realistic poetry and poems about nature so I'm a bit confused about this poem.
Shouldn't there be a seasonal reference too to make it an haiku?
Yes, I didn't know that when I wrote the review.