A Tail Of A Story

by CorruptedArrow

Published November 23, 2017

In Stories

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I have lived away from water all my life…well not all my life. When I was little, I was playing with my sister in a pool, I was three at the time…I think, I’m not sure. Anyways we were playing around and just as I jumped into the water I felt heavier than normal I shook it off. My sister jumped in after me and I swam so I wouldn’t be under her. I was swimming faster than I had been in previous days. I looked down at where my legs would be and what I saw wasn’t legs. I screamed and my parents came rushing out of the house and ran to me.

“What happened?” my mother asked. She looked at my legs and screamed too. Then my father ran out of the house to where my mother had fallen on the ground.

“What happened?” my father asked. He then looked at my legs. He helped my mom up then helped her into the car. He send my sister over to a friends house grabbed me and put the seat down in the middle and laid me down on top of a towel so I wouldn’t have gotten water everywhere. We drove to the Emergency as fast as we could. Once we got there dad had gotten me a wheelchair and put the towel over my bottom half. Once we got in we got to check in, and once I lifted off the towel. We went into a private cubicle. Our doctor came in a few minutes later, I was laying on the bed. He was… I don’t know if it was shock or amazement.

“I don’t think I’ve seen this in all of my medical experience.” The doctor said.

“Well what caused this?” He had asked.

“I jumped into the pool.” I replied.

“I don’t think you can get a fish tail from a pool in your backyard.” The doctor stated.

“Then how did my daughter get this thing?” My father questioned.

“I’m not sure, just make sure that she stays away from water for a few years just to make sure this doesn’t happen again. If you as the parents want to homeschool her now, she can’t touch any liquid type materials.”

It’s been fourteen years since then. I am 16 years old and I’ve never been able to touch or be near water. But today I get to go to a public school for the first time. New start right? Mom and Dad have told the teachers about my tail, so I get a pardon from P.E. and I get to do homework for that period in the library. We live three blocks from the school and I get to walk to school. I was told I have a small class, and I’m fine with that because then I’m not having to make too many friends and or enemies (Hopefully).

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(Next Day)

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I am so nervous. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach string their hardest to get out. I’ve never been this nervous for anything really. My mom dropped me off she told me to go to the “Front Office” how in all that is beautiful in the world am I going to find the “Front Office”. Never mind it is right in front of me.

“Hi!” A cheerful voice filled the tiny space. “How can I help you miss?”

I replied “Hello, I am new and i have no clue where I am going. I’m in the grade ten class.”

“Ok,” She started typing on the keyboard, and printed off the schedule, a lock and told me: “Just go down the hall till you get to some stairs on the left…… No that’s wrong sorry dear it’s the right. My old brian is getting harder to use. Go left once you get to the top of the stairs and your homeroom will be there. Now don’t be late. Go on now!” I fast walked around the maze of a school and finally found the room that the old secretary told me about.

“Hello.” a younger teacher had said. “I’m guessing you are the new girl that all the students are talking about. I’m Mr. Smith.” He’s the Math teacher.

“I’m West Tremblay.” He Showed me where my locker was.

He whispered in my ear as we were walking to my locker which was only a few feet away from the cafeteria.

“ I know about it, you’re parents had a meeting with all the teachers. Don’t worry you will never be near any water in my class.” he nodded sympathetically.

“Ok,” I knew that he felt sorry for me because I never get the opportunity to be a normal teen.

“After you are done putting your backpack and binders away quickly come back to the classroom.”

“Will do!” I quickly blurted. Here I am trying to make sure that everything fits in the locker when:

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I had just enough time to grab the right binder and get in the class not too late.

“Hello West, thank you for joining my class.” he Then turns to the class “Everyone this is West Tremblay.” I waved my hand. “Say hello”

The class on cue all said “Hello West!” I took my seat near the back. Throughout that class was a “get to know your fellow classmates” class. It was like that for the first few classes. Gym was right before lunch, I followed my classmates to the Gym. I got there and the teacher waved me over.

“Hello West! I was at the meeting and I know. Anyways…. If and when you don’t have any homework you can help me run the class. At lunch after the class go and listen to what they thought of the class,” Mrs. Adams explained

“I’ll see if I can change it for a few people who are having difficulty with P.E., but for today you can sit on the bleachers and watch the class and if you need a break from sitting you can go out through the doors that you came through and the library will be on the right.”

“Thank you Mrs. Adams.” I replied. I went to take my seat and that class was starting. Mrs. Adams had gotten my 10 classmates to run five laps around the gym and then do five burpees. I watched them run and I saw a few of the girls whispering to each other and staring at me. Not weird right? Did I Say or do something wrong? Probably not. They had just started to do their burpees when Mrs. Adams called me over again.

“Hey don’t look like you want to join them cause then they will start to suspect something.” She pointed with her eyes to my legs.

“I know, I know. Can I have that break now?” I asked.

“Ya, definately! Now remember go through the door and after a cluster of lockers the library is on the right.”. She stated.

“Thank you” I whispered. As I started out the gym I started hearing my classmates complain. I wedged the door open enough so that I could hear and look like it was closed.

“Why does she get to go out of gym?” One of the girls started

“Ya, It’s not like she’s special in some way.” Cried a boy. Mrs.Adams sounded like she was getting annoyed.

“KEEP TALKING ABOUT WEST IN A RUDE MANNER AND I’LL MAKE YOU RUN FIVE MORE LAPS!” Mrs. Adams shouted. Groans followed the shouting. I then took that as a cue to start getting to the library. Once I entered memories from when I was little;

“Mommy! Mommy! Can we go into the liberry today?” I Asked non-stop.

“Sure.” she sighed. “Come on let's go!” I loved the library. I ran to the van. I buckled myself in and waited for my mom so get in and go to the library or “liberry” in my younger terms. We drove for a few minutes and we pulled up to the library. I unbuckled and helped my mom. I ran around the truck and opened up the van door for her.

“Let’s get in! It’s cold out here!” My mother exclaimed. We jogged into the library and I wandered off to the kids section. My mom went to the adult section. I found what I wanted “The Little Mermaid” and my mom found and adult book, I don’t know what it was. We signed them out on her card. We got in the van, mom was laughing.

“ Oh West! You make me laugh!” I had no clue what I did that made her laugh.

I walked into the library. The librarian waved then went back to work. I wandered over to the YA section (Young Adult) and looked at some of the books and a few interested me, but not enough to make me sign it out. I quickly walked back to the librarian.

“Excuse me, sorry to bother you but where is the restroom?” I asked.

She chuckled, “It is outside the door and to the right.” I thought she laughed at the comment but really it was just a funny cat compilation on Youtube. I walked out the door and when to the restroom. I went to wash my hands and I saw the other girls from my grade coming to the restroom for a break.

“What is it?” one of the girls whispered to each other.

“It must be the new girl in our class.” They kept whispering to each other. I left the restroom and walked back to the gym. Mrs. Adams looked relieved. I kept walking over to her. They were in the middle of dodgeball. My classmates all looked at each other like I was going to be the main target not their friends. One side of the gym became my guards and the other became the enemy. All of the guards were all hit and I kept walking through.Blasting the ball at me by my classmates. I dodged them like I was from the matrix. Not stopping them with my hand and stopping them in mid air. I dodged them like if they hit me I could die. I made it to Mrs. Adams without ever touching the ball. Everyone looked at me with astonishment in their eyes like I just avoided death.

“Do you need me to do anything?” I asked.

“N-n-no West I’m good you can just sit on the bleachers.” She stammered. I walked over to the bleachers and watched everyone had to run two more laps. The bell rang for next class and I knew where it was. In the Library. I walked over to the library and the Librarian waved me over to her desk.

“If you want to sign out a book just come to me and I will sign it out on your card.” She said sweetly.

“Thank you!” I answered cheerfully. I wandered back to the YA section again. Some of my classmates just sat in the chairs with their sore bodies. Others went to find a book to read. I was crouching to look at a few books at the bottom of the shelf. A few of the boys walked over to where I was looking for a book.

“Hey!” All the boys chirped. I turned around and all of them were behind me. I stood up and walked over to the graphic novel section, and the hoard followed me. I found The Avengers and went to the desk and sign it out along with a book and then went to go and find an empty chair and read. Guess who followed me like lost little puppies? I found a seat eventually then started reading. The guys had dispersed to go and find books that they thought I might like. The bell rang for our cue to the next class. Everyone of my classmates followed me to my locker I got my books for L.A. everyone else rushed to get their own. I got to class way before the bell could ring to signal that I was late. Although I thought that everyone would go back to their normal selves I was wrong by a mile and a half. They all wanted me to sit next to them. The class went by smoothly, I think. The next class was art. I got all my supplies and drawing pad. People say I make Vincent van Gogh and Leonardo da Vinci look like a fool. I can work with any art tools and make something cool and/or beautiful in a certain time frame. Anyways I got to sit alone FINALLY! The art teacher also knew about the tail but she also knew i wa careful and showed me if i got any water on me where I could go so none of my classmates would know. She was kind. She knew of all the artworks I had made in the past they were beautiful. The lesson in the class was just a rough sketch of a animal you liked I drew a wolf, and then to colour them in. Once I was done I brought it to the teacher and she stopped everyone to show them what level of artistic ability they could get to in her class. The class ended and it was lunch, it’s a nice day outside and there was no wind. The wind was racing the cars in no time flat.Although the leaves were crunchy the ground was still good to sit on, and no one would be outside. I grabbed my sweater without my classmates knowing, grabbed my lunch and ran outside. The wind cried with joy for someone will be outside with it.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Rodger
Review
Rodger wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2017

Hi Rodger here for a hopefully quick review

First of all l want to say well done on writing such an amazing story.
What l like about the story;

Suspense- I really like the way each sentence from start to finish keeps you keen to find out what happens next.
Imagination- I like your imagination how did you come up with this kind of scene where a girl develops a tail after swimming in their backyard pool, amazing.

Sequence- The other great thing about this piece is the flow of events or should l say the chain of events. Most people find it difficult to construct or write events in sequence and rather just jump from one scene to another so great job.

Drama- I am a big fan of dramatic situations well not really the drama involved put I am keen to find out what happens next, and this piece involves that drama where a girl finds herself in and despite this condition she is trying to live a normal life.

What l think you should have done better;
Dialogue- I thing you should have written this piece in a dialogue kind of format. That should have really ended this amazing piece.
Besides that l really enjoyed reading this.

User avatar
Radrook
Review
Radrook wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2017

Interesting story which reminds me of the film Splash but from a different angle. Wish I could have written like you do at age fourteen! What an imagination! Everything very interesting. It creates drama by describing a conflict between a child and her abnormal condition and between the child and the society that has to deal with in her abnormal condition.

Suspense is increased by telling us that she will be attending school for the first time. All these are positive points which you did well to use because without conflict and story just doesn’t keep reader interest. A reader wants to know what happens next. So our job as writers is to maintain that interest. If that interest becomes less, then we risk losing the reader. So the trick is to maintain the reader reading by having him wonder about what happens next.

How is she going to deal with that problem now? How is she going to calmly absorb that insult? How will she be able to have a normal relationship with a boy? Will she find love? Will she be forever isolated from the rest of mankind? Will others see her as a fellow human being or will she be forever considered a freak, a medical curiosity? All these issues can be introduced into the story gradually scene by scene. So the potential to develop the story is there.

Suggestions:

However, we must also be careful not to propose an idea that might seem too far fetched and almost impossible to fit in with current scientific facts. Her inability to come in contact with any type of fluid is that kind of an idea. Why? Well, because her blood is fluid and she is in contact with it constantly. Her saliva and urine are fluids.


Also, when people animals and plants don't drink, they dehydrate shrivel and die. That is a basic scientific fact and anyone reading the story will immediately start asking questions. If we as writers ignore these reader questions, then we risk losing reader interest. So in order to keep the reader interested, this has to be changed or else explained convincingly in some way. Mentioning it and leaving it unexplained will not work.

As the author you are in full control and can easily fix this problem. For example, you can allow her to be affected only when she is submerged and required to swim. That along with the shift in pressure on the skin caused by the water. All this can be explained during her visit to the doctor and after she has undergone some tests. Doctors will refer such a patient to have tests done in order to find out what the problem is exactly. Only then do they give advice. So to lend the story realism, have her undergo some tests during a brief stay at a hospital.

Also, please note that dialogue is expected to be written in a certain way:
http://www.be-a-better-writer.com/punct ... logue.html



The only distinction that makes one a hero is constantly fighting back your villain arc.
— RangerofIthilien