Leo~
It was silent. Too silent. Normally the lab was loud with scientists. I decided to peek inside to see if anything was the matter. When I looked, everyone was crowded at this one machine, looking quite surprised. Coming up silently, I took a quick peek. What.The.Hell.
There was a black nine tailed fox, who had a light cyan colored paws and chest fur. Each tip of his tail was also a light cyan color, but his eyes were a ghostly white.
"Leo. This is his spirit form." Master came up from behind me.
"T-this is B-47?" I stammered, still in shock at his beauty.
Master nodded proudly "he is a nine tailed spirit fox by the looks of it."
Nine tails are quite rare to find, especially one so young. They are extremely powerful and have a really long life time. If you contract with an nine tails, then you get not only a taste in their power and lifespan, but you also get some other extra benefits. Since B-47 is still extremely young, he has plenty of life ahead of him, and plenty of chances to get stronger. It weirder because most spirit foxes start with one tail and work their way up, but B-47 has nine tails off the bat. Though, the downside of a nine tails is that they're very violent and they don't trust so easily, so its hard to make any kind of contract with them.
"Now that we know of his true form, the only thing left to do is to name him." The master mused, scratching his neck.
"Sir, has he even attacked anyone yet?" I asked tentatively
"No, but he might, so we're keeping a distance." He said
"Then allow me to try and communicate with him." I offered
"Mhh,"
"I am a spirit beast as well, so I am the only one who can talk to him, since he isn't contracted yet." I reminded him
"OK, fine." The master nodded
Taking a deep breath, I walked up to B-47.
"Hey buddy." I used a form of telekinesis that only spirit beasts are known for using.
"Who? Where?" Inside my head, he sounded very confused.
"You are B-47, and you're inside the lab." I informed
"No! My name is not B-47, It is Tsuki." He seemed to growl that in my head
Of course. Most foxes go by ancient names from times before we were created. From my studies, the name Tsuki means 'moon' or 'lunar'. It suits him.
"Sorry Tsuki, but can you please calm down?"
"I'm not angry, just confused."
" I see, well don't be. For now, I will train you and prepare you. Then you will form a contract with the master." I explained
"Form a contract with him? Why?" He sounded surprised
"Since he saved you, it's the least you can do."
"Mh, maybe. We'll see about that."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing."
He didn't say anything afterwards.
"Well?" The master prompted
"Well, he says his name is Tsuki, which is an ancient word 'moon' or 'lunar' and he will be cooperative, for how long, I don't know." I said
Master nods, "will you train him?"
"If I'm allowed, sir."
"Then, Leo, from this day on you will be B-47 - I mean Tsuki's- mentor." Master said
I bowed "thank you, m'lord."
Walking up to Tsuki, I realized just how small he was. Normally, nine tails are a lot bigger and taller than humans, but Tsuki only went up to maybe the middle to the top of my legs. I bent down and scratched his ears.
"I'll be training you from today on wards, if you're fine with that."
"okay."
Backing away from me, Tsuki bowed his head "I'll be in your care."
End of chapter
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137,476 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
Hey, Reaper here. Just a quick review.
Well, that escalated quickly. I can see you were inspired by Naruto. A good concept only I wish you could've dragged out the reveal. You could have the fox wreak some havoc or spiral out of control so there is a necessity to calm him down just to enhance the build-up.
Be sure to drop information in measured amounts. Maybe have your MC find out this information while training Tsuki. I like the workings of the relationship thus far. It seems Tsuki is going to be more resistant to Master than his trainer currently is. We could have a spirit beast rebellion on our hands here xD
There are some minor grammar issues but those aren't something to get a headache over. Some excellent world-building here and lore, so that is always a treat in a chapter. Overall, it is a good chapter. Not as good as the second but an improvement over the first. Looking forward to more soon. It is a promising concept and I hope we get to see Tsuki and his 'trainer' relationship grow (like a puppy and their owner).
Over and out
Reaper
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayy...this is a fun moment here. I didn't expect a literally different form when you mentioned spirit beasts and the like, but well, this is certainly quite something here. I think it can make for a pretty interesting tale here.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayy...so that was a rather quick reveal there. I was expecting this test to go on for a lot longer than this. Hmm, at any rate, this whole fox situation is proving itself to be a rather interesting one here. I'm excited to see where this will end up. Its a good start although I must say the description up there is a tiny bit too infodumpy I think. You should probably look to reducing that just a tiny bit.
Okayy...that dialogue there felt a bit too forced I have to say. Upto this point the dialogue has been pretty good but the whole telekinesis thing feels like its only for the benefit of the audience there, I find it hard to believe that these people wouldn't already know something like that.
Hmm, so the boy appears to have taken on a totally different personality as a result of all of that. That is pretty interesting, although once again, this whole explanation about the name feels a bit too on the nose and a little forced. I think you have to find a way to make it just a bit more subtle.
Hmm, I think that point was a much better way of getting across the name's meaning and perhaps you could work the whole needing a name thing into it somewhere as well. Its a lot smoother there.
Okay...well that was kind of easy, I was expecting this fox form to be a lot more aggressive going off that first meeting we had, but it seems this one calmed down really fast, oh well, I suppose I don't know how these creatures behave so I'll assume this is normal enough for these beasts.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, we're off to a pretty neat start to this whole fox arc in this story, and so far this is proving to be quite interesting. I am definitely looking forward to seeing more of this story here. It seems like this is going to be an interesting story.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry