My hair was cut, my wounds were healed and I got new clothes. I even got my own room. But these things didn't come for free, in exchange for all of this, they get to experiment on me to find out what kind of spirit beast I am, and then I'll train to be a knight for the man who owns the house. I still don't know his name.
"B-47, time to go." Leo said through the door
"Alright." It was these times that I dreaded. I hate going there.
Me and Leo walked silently, side by side, down the hall. The inside was just as magnificent as the outside. there were plants, maids, butlers, and rooms too big for any use. When we reached the end of the C-wing, there stood a big white door. The door that leads to the lab.
"Are you ready?" Leo looked at me
I nodded. Leo went up and opened the door.
"I'll be waiting out here." He said
I walked into the room and looked around. The entire room was white, except for all the machines.
"Ah, B-47," Professor Lynn said, walking up behind me, " we'll be doing a different type of test, so go wait over there." She pointed at a bench next to a new looking machine. It looked like an over sized shower.
I walked over to the bench and took a seat.
"Ah, B-47. Here for the test?" I turned around and saw the master
I nod shyly,
"Mh, say I've been wondering, why were you at the auction house?" The master took a seat beside me.
"My father and brother thought that I killed our mom." I mumbled
"What was her name?"
"Araine."
"Ah. I know her." He nods
I stiffen "Do you know how she died?" I asked
He nods "sure."
"How?"
"How dare you," He stood up " I feed you and put clothes on your back and a roof over your head yet you still dare to ask questions of a life that should be meaningless to you?"
I flinch back, "s-sorry."
"Sir, the machine is ready." The professor came up to us, indicating to the big shower machine.
"In you go." The master said
I tentatively walked into the machine. Taking a look around, the inside was a all gray, except for the front which were windows. Just then, the professor pulled a switch and what seemed like blue electricity came out of the walls. When it touched me, it didn't hurt. Instead it felt like the sun's rays when they beat down on you on a nice day. Just as I smiled in relief, I heard the alarms go off.
"Error! Error! Machine malfunction! Error!"
I stiffened and looked at the professor and master. The professor was clicking away at the computer and the master was staring at me intently.
"Ugh!" I felt a jolt of pain in my spine.
The blue electricity turned black and it hurt. It felt as though every part of my body was on fire, but I couldn't breathe, like I was underwater.
I gasped for air, falling onto the floor as my knees gave out. It felt like my body was being ripped into two. My vision was becoming hazy and I couldn't think straight. I felt my consciousness fade away.
"Hold on kid!" I didn't know who yelled that but that was the last thing I heard before blackness engulfed me.
End of chapter
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137,562 Literary Works • 672,043 Reviews
Hi. Just popped in for a brief review.
A solid follow-up chapter. Better than the first I would argue. The pace is quick but not too quick that it feels rushed. It seems master does seem to have a hint of consideration for your main character (just a hint though).
I do wonder if the error in the machine will change our main character somehow. I am intrigued and I like the atmosphere you are building.
You did well in conveying a sense of panic/tension when the experiment when wrong. Looking forward to what comes next.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayy....soo...this was quite a mixed chapter. There were certainly undercurrents of bad treatment and something that could make this a rather horrific experience for our protagonist, but at the same time, there was also a distinct air of things being not so bad, and some sort of almost kindness, it certainly leaves you asking some questions this one.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm, this seems like our protagonist here has completely accepted their fate with regards to what they will be doing within this place and it certainly looks like a rather tough deal there. It doesn't seem like it would be legal in a normal world to be running tests like that, but I suppose at least he does get to be in relative comfort.
Okayy...well...this is off to a much more pleasant start than what I was initially expecting. At one point it seemed like this testing would go in a much harsher manner given how it was introduced, but this seems oddly nice, almost like a doctor's appointment of some sort.
Well that's our first sign of hostility. I do feel like maybe you should try and make that a tad bit more consistent. There's no inherent coldness at the start and there's an oddly caring vibe to things, but then we finally do transition to what we expect to see, but at that point it comes a bit too suddenly. I think if you want to have that harsh reply there, you've gotta first have this scene start out with a less friendly tone.
Okayy....well, that was something...I guess perhaps that goes someway to explaining what this title is all about, so that's something good. I am still wondering what that could possibly mean but well that's a nice touch, adding a bit of mystery like that certainly makes things a lot more interesting. The ending with a man's voice also makes things very interesting, it seems something has certainly gone down there when the machine was somehow changed as a result of the error.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, this is a pretty solid followup chapter I think. The pace of this is going along fairly quickly too...and I think so far, it has managed to prove rather interesting here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
HEYO! Nox here for a review!
This will be a good one I assure.
I love the idea, its nice. (I don't know anything about this story but anyways.)
Its formatted nicely. easy to read and understand for people have a harder time. So it's prefect for me (lol dyslexia).
The way its written fits what you've written and stands out in a lot of things. And the genres its under works well. Honestly its worded in a way that's galvanizing.
I don't really point of anything that might seem bad to others to encourage everyone to write more. Mostly when the writing's very good with a promising future. Which is what your writing is. With much appreciation thank you for writing this amazing piece and sharing it. I hope to review more of your works and continue to tell you what's good about your works.
Thank you.
~Nox
Thanks for the review!