What will I describe?
Meaning of the dark deep blue sea;
The peace or tranquility;
The beauty or the color?
The more I dive
The more it heals my bruises.
Long ago, I used to dive into it,
Sail through it;
But somehow, some strange faces
Some racy and unusual waves,
Made the ocean unsteady-
Have created some eddies….
Eddies which have thrown me out,
Have changed my ocean.
I could not sail,
Can’t dive into it….
Hopes are still alive; one day,
It will become steady and calm again;
I will dive into it to sail by it again,
To clear out my heart,
To nurture the beauty.
Yet, how will I describe
How much I love the deep blue sea?
*
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,796 Reviews
Heyo! I'm here to review!! I really felt the passion and feelings you put into this poem, and I really like the moral of it. It's a bit of a sad poem, but the sad ones are often the best. I can see that you really write from your heart which is a really good characteristic to have in your writing, so yet again, you have a written an awesome poem! I'm glad that you put a somewhat happy ending, to show that there's always hope. I'm pretty sure I enjoyed this poem too much, if that's even possible! Never stop writing poems cause you are amazing at it, hope to see more of your works soon. Keep writing!
Hi, thanks for your beautiful review. Definitely I'll write some more, keep reviewing?
Of course
Hello Chinku!
I don't know, maybe it reminds me just a teeny bit of how people outgrow their old comforts. Like the blankie or stuffed animal they loved as a toddler. Another meaning I can draw from what I assume is this metaphor is like a lover the speaker confides in. Eventually, the lover and speaker drift apart and the speaker, even now, continues to wish that the speaker could confide in the lover again. I like it a lot, because it makes me think! 
Well well, this is one interesting poem. How the speaker finds comfort in the sea--and somehow it changes and the speaker cannot dive there anymore, but still loves it. It's a bit sad
I'm not sure how that part ties in with the rest of the poem. Maybe the speaker is thinking about what aspect of the sea to write about? Either way it kind of feels unnecessary to the rest of the poem, because it talks about the speaker's relationship to the sea.
Hmm, I'm not sure about the word choice "racy". It doesn't really fit. I think another word would fit better here...I would insert a thoughtful emoji here if I knew how to put one :p I did like how you didn't spend too much time talking about what caused it. I feel, like I've said before, that the poem mainly describes the relationship, which I'm intrigued with.
I like the bit of hope at the end, that the speaker hopes that one day it will calm down enough for them to dive back in again. Another spin on the interpretation I see here is that maybe the speaker has changed, not the sea. So maybe the speaker sees those "strange faces" and begins to notice the eddies when he didn't before.
Lots of food for thought, I suppose! Good luck and have fun with your future writing
-Ink
hello, princessink.
many thanks for the nice review, yes you are right that gives two end, one from a divers view and another from a normal persons view who had lost his/her lover and yet expecting the star to fall. Racy is bit different but it's the synonyms of naughty kind of sense.
thanks again and keep reviewing.
hello, princessink.
many thanks for the nice review, yes you are right that gives two end, one from a divers view and another from a normal persons view who had lost his/her lover and yet expecting the star to fall. Racy is bit different but it's the synonyms of naughty kind of sense.
thanks again and keep reviewing.
Nice, really great poem, a deep meaning without the need for complex wording and structure. I love how you describe the hope for truly living once again. However, i do have some advice on the first few lines. Usually as just a rule of thumb, you should try to keep descriptions singular in one line, as listing threatens to decrease flowability. I usually try, if i have more than one description i am identifying, I add a line underneath, as to put multiple words together while still grasping the same ideas. Ill just give an example of what i might change it to, "Meaning of the dark blue sea, the peace or tranquility, whose dephs have no end" (just doing this for example) All in all however, this was an amazing poem, and very relatable. I hope to hear more from you later, good job! :3
Hello,
thanks for your great response, i will look for the changes that you have suggested.
No problem, look foward to reading more
As the deep blue sea is, This poem too has some deep meanings and feeling. It is an awesome work.
Thanks a lot.
Welcome, do share some ideas on how you write. Cause I am still learning. It helps to learn from the experienced ones.
hi, truly i'm not well experienced, but i write when i feel off and alone.
it's just to write down the war of words and emotions. interestingly my first poem was of 6 lines only. so look at around you, every thing is carrying some emotions, just you need to connect it with your emotions and thoughts.
well, thanks a lot again for having an interest in my poems and ideas.