Young Writers Society

Hey! RowenaLynn here for a review...
I wanted to say that I like the poem! You use similar rhymes throughout the poem, and that's different and cool. That being said, it really stands out when you switch from words that rhyme with 'rain' to not rhyming at all. It almost seems like you ran out of ideas that fit the style you started with. I like how repetition of 'The rain, the rain;' starts each new stanza. It adds to the tone and ties it all together, applying to every part. Some parts were difficult to understand with the wording, but after re-reading it a few times I get it a lot more, so I'd say that it's not a huge issue.

"The rain, the rain;

The wind with gain and gain

Farmers gain, the crops again

Exploring the fresh paint again.

-

The rain, the rain;

The wind with pain and pain

Broken nest and lose of blood vein

And the tears of homeless brain."

I like the contrast between the good and the bad, positives and negatives of rain.

Overall, I'd say that this is a great poem!
Thank you for writing this! Stay motivated!

Hi!!! B here for another review. I gotta get seven points to post.

First off, I want to say that this shows the images perfectly.....


"The trashed roofs and the tore woods

The washed land and the swallowed house

Fresh odor and fresh life."

this shows the images of perfection, and it is a great use of words...

PROBLEM #1 :

Repetition....

You kept repeating words in the same line....and i got a little lost....

What I liked....

I liked..... I loved your way of formatting....


That is all i have time to say.......

This was good.
Keep writing.
~B.