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Beauty of seasons the rain

by Chinku


The rain, the rain;

The wind with gain and gain

Farmers gain, the crops again

Exploring the fresh paint again.

-

The rain, the rain;

The wind with pain and pain

Broken nest and lose of blood vein

And the tears of homeless brain.

-

The rain, the rain;

Happiness with thunder chain

Dancing feathers for the female peahen

And the tune of droops & anklets again and again.

-

The rain, the rain;

The wonders with real scene

The trashed roofs and the tore woods

The washed land and the swallowed house.

-

The rain, the rain;

Fresh odor and fresh life

Giving something and snatching something,

That’s the gain, that’s the pain!

Called, the beauty of seasons “The Rain”. 


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18 Reviews


Points: 1609
Reviews: 18

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Sun Nov 11, 2018 2:59 am
RowenaLynn wrote a review...



Hey! RowenaLynn here for a review...
I wanted to say that I like the poem! You use similar rhymes throughout the poem, and that's different and cool. That being said, it really stands out when you switch from words that rhyme with 'rain' to not rhyming at all. It almost seems like you ran out of ideas that fit the style you started with. I like how repetition of 'The rain, the rain;' starts each new stanza. It adds to the tone and ties it all together, applying to every part. Some parts were difficult to understand with the wording, but after re-reading it a few times I get it a lot more, so I'd say that it's not a huge issue.

"The rain, the rain;

The wind with gain and gain

Farmers gain, the crops again

Exploring the fresh paint again.

-

The rain, the rain;

The wind with pain and pain

Broken nest and lose of blood vein

And the tears of homeless brain."

I like the contrast between the good and the bad, positives and negatives of rain.

Overall, I'd say that this is a great poem!
Thank you for writing this! Stay motivated!




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87 Reviews


Points: 44
Reviews: 87

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Fri Nov 09, 2018 3:13 pm
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Bellarke wrote a review...



Hi!!! B here for another review. I gotta get seven points to post.

First off, I want to say that this shows the images perfectly.....


"The trashed roofs and the tore woods

The washed land and the swallowed house

Fresh odor and fresh life."

this shows the images of perfection, and it is a great use of words...

PROBLEM #1 :

Repetition....

You kept repeating words in the same line....and i got a little lost....

What I liked....

I liked..... I loved your way of formatting....


That is all i have time to say.......

This was good.
Keep writing.
~B.




Chinku says...


Hi Bellarke, glad to see your another review. Thanks a lot for the nice review. Yeah, there are repetition, but i seriously don't have any explanation for it. This is the way how the thought came in my mind while sitting in a rainy night.
Definitely I'll write some good thoughts, but, you need to give such friendly reviews to improve my writings.
Thanks again. Keep reviewing "B"




The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances.
— Unknown