Lord of Lies

Hey there ^^

I liked this one a while ago, but now I decided to come back and view it after all. I figured, after reading it again, it deserved my amateurish review (not being a poet or close to one, that is).. So here I am.

Really, I don't have anything bad to say about it. It's just marvelously (I like that word) dark and everything can be imagined so easily. In some almost concerning way, one can feel the connection with the narrator/main character/you (?) in the poem.

This is one of those poems with which I imagine music. Not in a way that I see it as lyrics, but as if I can hear some not quite present notes as I read the words. Does that make sense at all? The music, or whatever it is, stops as the poem ends, and that kind of makes me sad, or mad at you for not making it longer, but the way you ended it was just awesome. Without hope, without light, happy ending, answered questions.. Very much at my liking.

Also, I love the Vanity thing, the way she (for some reason, it feels like a she to me) is called at the beginning of each verse..

I would tell you to let me know when you post something new, but I stalk you anyway, so I will know, haha
Keep writing and I'll keep reading *bows*

Sincerely yours,
Aria :3

Hey there, Ita!



Where did that come from? Erm... Anyways.
When I read your poem, I was honestly like

for some weird reason.

Okay, I'm over it-

Hey! I didn't think that! Okay.... Maybe I did. Just for a sec.

Right, let's get down to the sh*t already. Lord of Lies is a very moving piece. I love the fantastical imagery, the questions of a purring monster, the intellect and madness. Love love LOVE it. It kinda creeped me out the first time, but -like with Gorgonzola cheese- you like it the more you read/eat it.
No grammatical errors as far as my eye can see, so good for you. Great job with the verse/stanza style. Usually I don't read poems that dont rhyme, but this one just grabbed me.

So... That's all, I guess
Great job, love you, yadda yadda yadda and-

What. The.
I'm not even gonna ask.

Cheers,
Alpha

This is a very moving piece of writing on how in depth you go and you show great skill writing your work.

Love it.

Errors that i have found are listed below.

1.NONE!!!

Iffy's that i have found.

1. Maybe at every little coma make a new stanza, i think its called? a new line? something like that...

Good things i found.

1. Would be an amazing song.
2. Has good flow.
3. Good understanding of what you wrote.
4.Good experience.
5.Good word choice which i dont find very often.
6. Good way to separate it every new subject.

Other than that amazing!
Keep writing! Hawinay