The Darkness is here.
Clouding my mind.
Shoving at,
ideas of all kinds.
Erasing them.
Killing them.
The Darkness blocks.
Another name?
Writer's Block.
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Canary word: Present
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141,462 Literary Works • 674,479 Reviews
Wow! That's amazing! I never thought of something like that
it's true!
Thank you profsize. I do agree with the commas. That actually was a conflict for me and I had changed that multiple times.
You definitely have very good imagery and emotion. It's a very well poised poem and I agree with the shoving comment before, but after all it is your work of art. I would also say maybe to use commas instead of some periods. For example in these lines, 'Erasing them. Killing them.', it may flow better to put a comma rather than a period. I love though, that it has almost the same sort of feeling as a haiku only something very different altogether. I applaud you for having such deep emotion in such a short poem.
Keep up the good work!
Yes, suppose I agree. It was my first poem and it was a bit rushed. Thank you.
Ok! Well I guess I'll be the first to comment
It's very short, but i think that adds to the point. The only think I would suggest is changing shoving at to shoving off, but that's just my opinion lol