Flee, A Haiku

This is entirely off-topic, but I've now come up with an incredible idea, and I had to share it with you, considering the fact that your work inspired me. I will create a character that only speaks in Senyru/Haiku. Yay :3

Regarding your haiku, I don't think many people could relate to it, considering that not very many people have had to flee from something or someone with that sort of desperation. I agree with a post above me suggesting that you should expand this and create more stanzas. Well, there's an interesting idea for you - you could write a whole poem, with six or seven stanzas and have each stanza as a haiku.

Nowadays anything passes for poetry, so I'm sure you're not going to get shouted at for doing something different.

- Jai

It's hard to realy review a haiku, since they are SO unbearably short. I didn't quite get it, but then there wasn't much to get. I think you did do a good job of getting your point across, which was, essentially "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!"

This is called a "Senyru", a Haiku that isn't about nature. It is the same type of poem in all categories excepting that.

I do like this one.. very simple, obviously, and there's an element to it that's fun to play with in writing. Nice job.

-Coral-

For a haiku this was not a real one. Mostly haiku's are about nature, for the mystery concept it wasn't really a mystery for me. This would be better if this was a short poem, with more stanzas and more words than just a haiku. Sorry if I'm being rude but I don't mean to be. This would be great with more imagery. Good luck and keep writing!

The mystery is the whole point.

what am I running from?