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140,218 Literary Works • 673,046 Reviews
A
juvinileJuvenile game of seek and find.Juvinile,Juvenile yes,but then...
let's play a round.
Just a test of joy.
I spy with my little eye...
a boy.
A hint?
He is cute.
Ruggedly handsome.
Soon enough the game has ended.
Long since, a finished memory.
But why?
Why I ask,
is he still on my mind.
In my thoughts.
Sometimes
completlycompletely clouding my mind.Sometimes disappearing almost completely.
Still though,
who knew
what a tiny game of seek and find leave an impression such as this?
But
mabey,Maybeit was the boy,
MabeyMaybe the boy is the one who left the impression.Who knows.
It's something to ponder.
This was really cute! I loved it.
Keep Writing
Anger
Hey there! This was very nice and very good. The title caught my eye, nice use of many dots I might add =). As for any mistakes, it seems like the others have got that covered and I wouldn't want to just repeat them =P... So all I have to say is that I liked this, and keep writing!
Your poem had a very rythmic flow to it, it was very personal and expressed t's meanings very well.
Nice.. Yet you have some lapses in your spelling. See this one:
Oh well, despite of the spellings, its very very cute.. and I like it,,
Hi Brooklyn! This is really cute and it made me smile. :]
Just a couple of errors...
Spelling error! It is spelled "juvenile". Remember to use spell-check!
I hate to be picky but I'm not liking this huge jump in time. You're going from the first hint to the end of the game. Try to fit a couple lines in there.
The second "why" isn't needed here.
Spelling! Errors like this distract the reader from the poem. Remember to read through your poem before submitting it.
This line isn't needed because the line following this isn't contrary to the line before this.
This sentence is a bit jumbled. Try...
Spelling, spelling....
Other than that, I though it was a cute way to talk about a boy who's on your mind. Don't forget to run spell-check and slow down when you're typing. It'll help with the tiny mistakes. PM me if you've got questions.
-Ace :]