I'm giving up, giving up now
I've let go, I'm done riding out the storm
I've never been in the eye of the hurricane
I'm always in the vortex, screaming, screaming
---
This fascination with blood I have,
It's really starting to scare me
Whether it's mine or another's, I don't mind
I'll take that knife, slit the skin
---
So you see I've lost hope
No one sees that for me, what's done is done
So I'm finished with the shrinks, the friends, the parents.
They all think they can save me, but I'm long gone
---
He looks me in the eyes
Tells me, best he can, I'm worth saving.
He doesn't know I can see the lie
Behind his eyes, I always can.
---
My parents tell me they love me
That they only want what's best
But what they really truly want
Is their own happiness
---
My psych, she tells me too,
God loves you girl, it's true
Then why am I so alone
I have Faith, but no light has shown
---
Tell me, tell me, tell me
If the light would pierce the veil
Would I die a screaming death
Or would I rejoice and live to tell the tale
---
If I am truly good, worth saving to the end
I'd be recognized as of of them, the righteous among the men
But if I truly am what I believe, a screaming demon alone
I would die from the wrath of God, that is what shakes me to the bone
---
I HAVE A HOLE IN MY SOUL
I scream atop my lungs
Nobody seems to hear me
Yes, I truly am alone
---
The dark that feeds inside me
Becomes me with a flourish
Now I am a cold, hard bitch
Above all, now I am a killer
---
They cross me time and time again
But never would they guess
That somewhere deep inside me
Lurks this terrifying unholiness
---
I may not be strong or tall
I cannot mug or beat you
But running on adrenaline
Without hesitation, I would shoot you
---
I am afraid of the black hole
That is the rubble of my heart.
I am and forever will be
Broken
---
So now I stand here on the brink,
Beaten by the Vortex of my sins
I pull away for awhile
But every single time, I eventually give in
---
Pulled violently away,
I cease to even care
I am drowning inside myself
In the waters of my blackened, charred soul
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,622 Reviews
This is almost like the epitome of a psychopath's minds. All that rage, self-loathing, deprived of healthy emotion-it really fits the criteria for someone a little mentally messed up. I loved this. It made a lot of sense to me. You took a firm grasp on the idea of pain, alienation, misunderstanding and suffering and melded it all together to form brilliance. This really rang true for me, excellent excellent job.
Thanx.
Wow. I really loved this, it's amazingly powerful, and quite blunt in places, which makes the emotion so raw. The rhythm is really good as well, everything moves at kind of the same pace. I like the irregular rhyming, it adds a little flare to the poem, and kind of emphasise certain stanzas, which i think is really important.
The only thing i could nitpick is punctuation, there needs to be a lo more full stops, commas etc. in the right places, and punctuation can really emphasise parts of a poem and add effect to certain words that you want to be seen.
Awesome work, keep it up!
Thanx so much! Thanx for understanding the off rhyme- scheme. Lots of people don't. I agree, it adds a certain flare
~Bitter
Hi, BitterRosemary!
I feel like the speaker in this poem sometimes. Anyone who relates may think so too. Good use of imagery, too. 
Keep writing!
Through your work, I can feel some emotional quality attached to it. Is this based on a personal experience?
May I know why you capitalized "I have a hole in my soul"? Was it for emphasis? I think the capitalization is unnecessary because the words you used in that line would somehow emphasize it anyway.
I don't pay much attention to details, so I guess that's it.
I have a hole in my soul was capitalized because the narrator (yes, it is based on my personal experience) is shouting this phrase, but nobody can hear her. Yes it is emphasis, but mostly it is to convey shouting or screaming.
Thanx for the review!!
~Bitter