You tell me it will never work
But you never even tried
I don't know how it would feel
To have your heart entwined in mine
---
No scratch that, I have
That one fateful night
You told me you were leaving
That you'd come to say goodbye
---
I told you I couldn't accept that
You said to let it go
I said stop quoting Elsa
You said my heart was just as cold
---
But the truth is that's not true
Though I am rather good at lying
I tell you, my heart can't be ice or stone
If so, how could I feel it breaking?
---
So I took your hand in mine
Pressed it to my lips
And I cried one last time
And I haven't cried since
---
You have always been the only one
Who can make me really cry
You'd tell me that you hated the porcelain drops
And I'd stop, but whisper why?
---
Why did my heart choose you?
Because it certainly wasn't me
I would have never held you
If I hadn't felt incomplete
---
And here's the honest- to- God truth
I can't stay away
And every time you leave me
A piece of my heart is torn away
--
So tell me now, as we stand here
Can you put me first?
Will you release my hand forever?
Or will you free me of your curse?
---
I stare out over this cliff face
Maybe this truly is the only way
So silently I determine
If you leave again, I'll simply fall away
---
The tears fall down my cheeks
For the first time in awhile
As I watch his tires squeal away
I let go of the railing, and
I finally wear a smile
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139,616 Literary Works • 672,627 Reviews
Wow! This is… shockingly awesome. I guess that's the only way I can describe it. All the words are perfectly put, and everything is just… wow. One part that kind of made my poem-sense tingle was the 2 "aways" in the 8th paragraph. Other than that, there is absolutely nothing I can correct. It's just… (*wipes away tear*)… so beautiful! :' D
~Curiosity(killed the)Cat ( :
Thanx that's so kind!
Hey!
I love this piece. I've going through a lot of stuff at the moment and the poem really spoke to me. The use of personal moments makes the poem so much better and I love the use of the Disney quote as it makes it so relatable to me and I can feel the pain in the poem.
I love the deep mood in the work and love how human it feels.
Hey! It's joallover here for a review!
First of all, I LOVE that you put a Disney reference in this. Not only because it's Disney, but because it puts a sense of personality in the piece. A sense of appreciation for the sweet girl who's heart is breaking. I love your word choice, they add so much of an understanding of the senseless love going on and makes us feel as if we are the girl. Everyone with an ex or even anyone in general has felt the sting of someone leaving them, so this is relatable to everyone. I honestly don't have any nit picks about anything. It was extremely well done and I loved it so much! You have talent! Keep writing!
-joallover
Thanx!