RJ

Hi BitterRosemary, Shauzer here reviewing
This poem was very powerful, it had nice imagery, it told a story as well as having a very nice flow and finishing very strongly. One of my favourite poems of the day, well done. I'll have trouble picking out flaws, and forgive me if I'm nit-picky but i'n in a hurry. The end was defo my favourite part,

You look at the challenges life throws you and greet

Them with open arms, You dare it

To tell you that you CANNOT

This was a powerful finish, beautifully done. It showed that even though he can cry, he can confide in you, he is stubborn and will not take the world's s**t. Lovely idea for an ending, well executed. One thing I didn't like was when you said 'You tell me about them, the voices' I don't think you should have said ', the voices' at the end. There is no need and it sounds better without it. Um... I think you could have said something about how you feel about him, it started off with that and it would've been nice to bring it back in at some point. But other than that, and that's really REALLY nit-picking, this poem was excellent. No really noticeable flaws, no problems in the sweet, smooth flow. It started strong, it kept strong and it finished stronger. Keep writing like this, rhyming, long lines, it's your style. You own it, after that poem. Plus i really like the character, seems like a cool guy, well done building him up throughout the whole poem. Felt like I knew him as well as you did at the end and that's a great accomplishment on your behalf. Extra kudos for you!!!
Keep writing, tragedy if you didn't.
Yours in ink,
TS.

Hey there! Purple here to give you a review! Let's get started.
One of the first things I noticed is the simple rhyme scheme. Don't feel so restricted by the rhyming that you have to use unpoetic words and making every few lines rhyme (Also, if you're going to have a rhyme scheme it should have a consistent pattern like AABB or AAABBB, not by random)
Another few things are like your other poems, punctuation and slashes. You don't need to capitalize every single line because that implies every line is important which it isn't. To emphasize certain aspects of a poem, you need proper punctuation or at least some uncapitalized lines so the ones that are capitalized then stand out. Punctuation is the author's choice, but if you're going to capitalize then it makes things much clearer.
"And You take my breath away"
Don't capitalize you. Even though the subject is important, this isn't needed.

"Hello! Here's a person who didn't burn

His values to fit the life he didn't earn"
I would edit this to

"Hello! Here's a person who didn't forget his values

just to fit the life he didn't earn"

..because that flows better and ending at burn interrupts the flow. Try reading some of your poetry out loud.

"How do how stay sane with the voices in your head?" I think you meant the second 'how' to be 'you'

"You look at the challenges life throws you and greet

Them with open arms, You dare it

To tell you that you CANNOT"

Again the flow is interrupted. Maybe

"You look at the challenges life throws you,

And greet them with open arms.

You dare it to tell you that you cannot."

Cannot could be italicized if you want, but full caps lock is a different tone than you were intending (i assime)

I hope this helped. Have a nice day kiddo!
~Purple

Okay! I am Chuck and I'll be doing your review today.

Let's start off with punctuation. You need full stops.
Also. Every sentence doesn't need a capital letter but then again that is entirely up to you.
I liked the poem and I think with some little changes to punctuation you could make it much better.
I notice in a few places you have put slashes those are not needed.

Anyway, great stor. Keep up the good work!

This is awesome! Review coming soon xD