Always watching and waiting
By the sea for news of their lovers—
Cruel is the mistress of war.
Day by day those left behind stare at the sea,
Ever hoping for word, and ever
Fearing it in equal measure.
Gone are the glory days, before the call.
Happiness left with the last departing ship.
In the night, they are forced to return to empty houses,
Jars of preserves line the shelves, but there is no one to appreciate them. The
Kings and queens of these foreign lands must have no heart, the women think as they
Linger on the shore, waiting for their
Martyred brothers, husbands, sons—who
Never come back.
Of course, they lost. The enemy was far more
Powerful, with troops upon troops and countless weapons. The
Question is, were all those lives wasted? The ones back home, were they
Ruined for nothing? Their
Small cottages seem so huge, now
That the warriors are gone.
Understanding is impossible, and there is a note displayed on the wall in one house:
“Victory will be ours, dear
Wife, my beautiful
Xandra. Don’t worry,
You will see me again soon.
--Zacharias.”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hi, J here for a review.
I picked this out of the green room because I had no idea what a Abecedarian poem was. After looking up what they were and reading your creative dose of Abecedarian I am equipped to review.
First of all there was a lot of creative imagery popped in the poem that added flavor like here "Jars of preserves line the shelves, but there is no one to appreciate them."
Nice imagery. And here "Small cottages seem so huge, now, That the warriors are gone."
You made me sad with this line.
Over all really nice poem good job being creative with the first letter of the lines those had to have been tricky with some of the harder letters.
Good Job and Keep Writing!!
Hi BeTheChange! Becca here for a quick review.
I loved this poem (and your use of the word abecedarian)! I'm super impressed with your ability to write a poem using every letter of the alphabet in the first line, and even more impressed that it isn't contrived by hose specifications, as is wont to happen. Specifically the creativity in using names for those tricky letters X and Z!
I love the lines "cruel is the mistress of war" and "jars of preserves line the shelves" (great image).
Keep up the great writing!