Young Writers Society

I agree with Nikayla when I write that there's not much this poem is really saying. While there's nothing wrong with that, it doesn't change the fact that this poem has a certain level of untapped potential.

When you say, "I hope it is good," there's so much more to that phrase than it might initially suggest. There are feelings of longing, anticipation, anxiety, and desperation in that phrase that are hidden from the reader.

Dig around and explore those feelings. Find out just what getting older means to you. You might find a new version of this poem, or maybe even another poem entirely.

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

So it seems that haikus are popular in your writing lately. Interesting. I can see why as they're short and usually minimalistic, usually only focusing or only able to focus on a single topic or set of lines. That's why those three lines have to be quality ones if you're wanting to win your reader over. In a longer poem, there's the chance of redemption with having more content for the reader to go off of, yet at the same time there's more of a chance to make faults in a lengthier poem.

Putting that thought aside, this is a pretty straightforward poem, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. The theme is clear since you've said this happened to be written on your 16th birthday, and in the lines this shows. The title gives enough context to this too, so I believe that the central idea of this haiku can be figured out without reading the description before clicking on this poem. That's what I enjoy about this poem. How easy it is to get behind.

At the same time, I felt this to be very...standard? There's nothing that makes this poem particularly stand out to be to be better than other coming of age haikus (I don't believe I've personally seen an abundance of them but I'm sure they're out there) or just poems in general that regard growing up. Give the reader something to think about or a reason to care. Those are the two basic ways you can win the reader over. By making them think or by making them feel something. Not a bad poem by any means, just not one that's of great merit.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.