They Don't Speak For Us

Whilst I also have autism, I cannot exactly say I have sympathy for you. Also, as a literary work, it lacks subtlety and focus. Of course, there are instances of good writing. Take, for instance, the use of italics on "how WE feel", or the lack of punctuation on some lines. It's a breathless rant, and in doing so, it is naked and honest. However, like all things naked and honest, it cannot hide from criticism or dispute.

Once again, I share autism with you, the author. I just do not share the sense of entitlement you do and sense of "being different in a neurotypical world", though I will admit to being alienated from time to time. Hey, at least people are trying to understand you.

This is ZeldaIsShiek leaving a review here on another beautiful piece of poetry from the Literary Spotlight this week. I would just like to make a note here before we begin: I LOVED this poem! I really understand this because one of my best friends in the world is autistic, and they are very far from stupid. In fact, they are one of the most intelligent people I know.

Now onto the poem in general. I really loved the meaning behind this, and I could tell that you really felt like this. Either you yourself are autistic like you implied, or someone you know who is very close to you is autistic. Overall, the style was very nice and the prose was very appealing. I usually make a new paragraph for the errors, but I couldn't find any! This is a very rare thing in poetry to be so 'perfect' in prose and grammar. All I can say is good work.

@bookishminecrafter
@AlexOfLight
@ZeldaIsShiek

To start, I haven’t seen a poem with this exact central idea, so that adds to my appreciation for this poem. The grammar and spelling in this work is correct throughout, as far as I can tell. I like how the idea and word choice flowed well and properly explained your thoughts – the poem was clear to understand. While the poem looks fine the way it is, if the word choice was a little more descriptive, it would have advanced the poem a bit. All in all, I do like this poem, good work.

This is Kaos here for a review!

So the first thoughts that I had about this poem was that it was alright and that it does have a valuable theme to be told and I think that that's one of the strengths of the poem. The thing is with theme-based poetry is that it tends to ignore other aspects of poetry such as imagery and subtlety in sacrifice to making the message of the poem clear. I'm not saying I don't support the message because I do to a large amount, it's just that it lacks in the fact of acting like a poem. Theme-based poetry has the problem of ending up like this and I think that's what happened to this poem as well.

Presumably it's talking specifically about Autism $peaks but doesn't outright say it, and I wanted more of a focus on that sort of subtlety. You don't have to say everything outright in poetry and the message can still be gotten across. It's not that you have to make everything vague, it's just that it's rather blunt in what it's trying to say and it lacks being a poem. My favorite part of the poem did happen to be the lines of being compared to a missing piece of a puzzle. This is something that I find to be a valid statement and it's something that I wanted you to expand on in terms of imagery. Tell your message through more than just outright speech, tell us through metaphor and tell us through imagery that can be associated with this theme.

This isn't taking away from the theme, but giving it a stronger outlet and giving it more power and emotion than it does if it's just said. There are more possibilities that you can use and expand on in the poem as with the cure and expanding on how they're wrong about that. Give the reader more insight into that. Truly, the poem works for what it's trying to get across with the message being a strong one, so embrace that while at the same time, using poetic devices to tell that message.

I hope I helped and have a great day! Keep rocking.

OKAY.

So now that I've read a few of your other poems and reviewed "#trapped," I feel better prepared to review this. I didn't want to do so without reading some of your other stuff, partly because I don't often review poetry anymore and partly because this is a topic that I know very little about and don't want to be insensitive to.

My main thought when I read through this poem is that it's incredibly straightforward. Which seems to be your style, generally, although I felt like "#trapped" had a lot more figurative language. You never came out and said "kids these days are addicted to their cell phones," but that was clearly what the poem was about, and then there was that delicious bit of irony at the end which revealed the narrator was just as addicted.

So my gut feeling is, "This needs more figurative language/subtlety/call it what you will," but obviously this is an important topic, and maybe you just wanted to be more blunt so people would get the point, and no flowery language or sugar-coating.

But definitely the line about "they compare us to a missing piece/of a jigsaw puzzle" packed the most punch for me. Actually I had to look it up before saying anything about it - I knew it was associated with Autism Speaks (which I've been hearing not-good things about in recent years), but I didn't realize it was used a symbol of autism. ANYWAY the point is it was the most, well, poetic line but *also* related to autism.

Okay, wow. I feel like I'm saying a lot and not actually being helpful at all. So, well, my suggestion is just to use more figurative language or at least be less blunt, more subtle, but then at the same time I can see why you would WANT to be blunt and just make people understand the frustration and the failure of organizations like Autism Speaks to actually serve the people they claim to represent.

I understand. I'm autistic. You're talking about Autism speaks, right? I HATE them! I can't say that name without feeling hate, much less even think of it! There is no stupid cure! (please excuse my ranting)

If it is about Autism speaks, please say it somewhere in the poem.

Great poem by the way! Keep writing!

-Alex

Hello, bookishminecrafter! Artemis here for a shiny new review three days before Christmas!

First Off: I loved your title. It's just great for a poem like this one. Keep it, please.

Negatives: I don't think there's anything subtle about this poem. It has a lot of blatant statements that show the reader what you're thinking, but doesn't hold as much meaning as it can.

Also, there's a grammatical thing right here: point of view. When you say "actual autistic people," you're actually referring to the narrator of this poem, who is basically talking about him/herself in the third person. If that's something that you want to keep, then keep it, but it's a bit jarring for the reader.

"But they never once

Ask actual autistic people

How we feel—"

Positives: Really nice word choice in the last line. I had to search it up and figure out what it meant, but it fit perfectly. Kudos to you.

I can feel the emotions in this poem, and this narrator is getting really fed up with those "advocates" who have no idea what autism is like. Emotions are a huge plus in poems.

And the part about the jigsaw puzzle? It's good. Keep it in, whatever you do.

Overall: This poem was pretty good. I mentioned some stuff in the negatives part, but it was pretty hard since I liked your piece a lot. Keep writing like this, bookishminecrafter!

XOX,
Artemis28