city rooftops and too-bright skies
grant courage to those who leap.
soft cradle below of beautiful lies,
silenced wings from the darkness rise,
and gently land in a heap.
Note: NOT an emo suicide poem.
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140,573 Literary Works • 673,519 Reviews
Thanks, Areida!
Yeah, I think that pretty much describes its intentions.
-Sophie
I like this. It's so easy to go overboard in poetry, but I think the simplicity and brevity of this little poem suit the topic.
None of the imagery is particularly original initially, but I like the idea of gently landing in a heap, like feathers, which fits with the "silenced wings."
So nothing life-changing or earth-shattering, but a nice little poem. I like it.
Wow, I'd almost forgotten about this poem! Thanks for critiquing, Sunny and quiteloud!
As for the "darkness rising" part, I was actually picturing the wings rising in the dark, not so much the darkness itself rising. (Sounds like Susan Cooper's "The Dark is Rising", doesn't it?)
But I agree, it's confusing, not only that line but the whole poem. It's more of an image than anything, I guess... I pictured a person standing on a rooftop, looking out over a big city, with big angel wings coming out of his or her back. The wings represent skills people have that are not considered valuable ("silenced"), not respected, hidden away. The longing to join a community, or the notion that there might be other people like them in the vast city below, gives them courage to try to fly. They don't succeed, but there's something out there that eases them down slowly, some hand of God that takes pity on them and lowers them gently to the ground. They still fail, but its gentle.
As Sunny said, it can be taken however you want, that's just how I pictured it. I suppose it's probably not such a good poem if I have to explain it, but oh well.
Anyway, thanks again for reading/reviewing! I really appreciate it!
I'm not the best critic in the world so bear with me
I like the how the poem flows in one story but I just have one question
When you talk about the darkness rising, what does that mean?
I was thinking about it and I came up with a few things that I seriously doubt are right
If you just cleared up that one line I think it would make more sense
Other than that though, it's a beautiful poem
*sighs contentedly* I don't think this needs meaning. It means whatever you want it to. That's what I love about your poetry: it adapts and changes to mean something beautiful to every person, something different every time. I can't help but sigh after reading your work. Wonderful job.
~Sunny
It sounds very nice, and the rhyming flows well, but . . . what does it mean? Sorry, but poetry isn't my forte, and I found this rather confusing.
Yours in ignorance,
-ST