Autumn Kissed

Thanks, Rodhead! I agree, punctuation is goooooood. People say you can write poetry without it, but there are very few famously good poems that don't have even erratic punctuation. I'm glad it made you feel sad (no, I don't want you to be sad!) because I want it to evoke emotion. Thanks again for reviewing!

Sophie

W O W.

That was a very nice read. I liked it a lot. It made me feel kind of sad though. But I don't think that that is a bad thing. I think that you got your punctuatuion dead on. Today I have been reading poems that have no punctuation at all, and I must say that I do not favour them as much as poems which do have punctuatuion and your poem is a wonderful example. When you read it aloud it flows. Also I thought that there was great descriptions in this poem.

Well done, you get a gold star=]

Thank you, live.laugh.love! Thank you, Moonlit Mystery! I think every poet longs to be understood, so I'm glad that could happen here (with the help of some good readers, of course!).

Thanks again, everyone!

-BFG

very nice,

the true meaning of the poem is fully understood

hope you do well

I love how the words painted a picture in my head as I read your poem. The words you used were fantastic. I didn't really notice many grammar errors so there's really nothing more to say except that it was beautiful!

Thanks, Madel! It's nice to have things reaffirmed. Glad you liked it!

-BFG

i think i agree with KNS012.......

you have nice choice of words which

made the whole poem so AWESOME!!!

you may have a little problem with some

of the lines but all in all you did great!!

keep up the good work...

Thanks, KNS012!

Grammar's actually really important to me, so I'm glad it flows smoothly.

Again, thanks for reviewing!

-BFG

great imagery


i like your choice of words it flowed well

i didnt notice any grammar mistakes so i guess your good.

Thanks Sunny!

I agree, that should be a new stanza. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to make that work with the meter... it's such an awkward location... but if I find a way I will definitely at least experiment with making the poem four stanzas.

Again, thanks for the review! I really appreciate it!

-Sophie

When furled leaves glide on blue sky wings, and land
In whispering, watercolored heaps; when sharp
The tongues of frosty air that lick the grass
To ashen gray; when in the sighing breaths
Of wind the maple waves its bony arms;
I shuffle, brown and shriveled, to this place.

Where once we wandered in the quiet light--
Your freckled face, these same soft hands--and kissed
Beneath this lasting tree, its silver bark
Still smooth--I stand now looking back through years
Of sliding seasons, changing dreams, and reach
For slipping memory of tender days.

And though the crumbled leaves form dust that flies
Far from your grave, and apple cider spills
From lips too old to kiss your face, the fall
Still comes, before the lonely winter months,
And sweeps us close once more. *So underneath
A clear blue sky, while love-red leaves drift down,
And walnut shells, a poison-green, begin
To split, the echoes softly float through the air
Of laughter here: we’re autumn kissed again.