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The Definition of "Her"

by Avian


Anxiety: that feeling that chains me to my bed,

Makes the lights look wrong and bright,

Shakes my body until it is jumbled into a labyrinth,

Fills my nose with sickly nostalgia and reminds me of

    

Childhood: when everything was easy and fun,

Playing pretend in my backyard with ponies and horses.

Springtime with the big, flowery, happy tree,

But memories always tainted by that one

   

Friend: laughter and growing and jokes and reminiscence,

Somehow always by my side even when I turned my back,

Always grateful for those who stayed,

But always reminds me of

   

Second Grade: when I was best friends with her,

And everyone hated us, and I hated us too,

Because she always made me feel sick, and I think a part of me died when she said,

“Kiss me.” And I had to because if I didn’t, she said I’d

   

Die: that word she used to threaten me when I didn’t want to oblige,

It means I’ll never open my eyes,

But I was dead every time I was with her,

Because oh my, was I

    

Blind: how I followed her around day after day,

Like a dog on a leash, a slave to a master,

All that following lead me to worship at her feet,

A god-fearing child who bowed every time she looked at

     

Me: it was never about me, always about her.

And those lies she made up so I would do her will

Always revolved around her her her.

And now it seems she’s all I think about, even when I

     

Write: how I express this wandering soul,

Who writes letters in code and puts them in a bottle,

I am the interpreter, these words are not mine, but the spirit’s,

But must every single message be about

    

Her: a story locked inside, a pronoun that

Has always had a distinct name.

A lingering particle floating in my mind,

Cracked and shattered because I can never quite remember

    

Everything: something she didn’t take from me.

But surely, she took something,

Because lately every syllable holds her voice,

And often I’ll lie awake and just

   

Wonder: what she did to me. Why she lied to me.

Did she ever have a hold on me? I have no lasting trauma,

Only questions residing in this labyrinth of a body.

What was her

   

Meaning: things I hold close, connotations and memories,

Feelings and words, all attached to something.

It seems she was a part of many things,

And all I want to do is take her meaning

   

Away.


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User avatar
5 Reviews

Points: 48
Reviews: 5

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Fri Feb 23, 2024 1:13 am
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RandomLady33 wrote a review...



Utterly beautiful. I love the way you use such every day words and attach your own meanings onto them, constantly reminding the reader of the definitions. It's truly brilliant.

I also love how you slowly reveal the story behind it through subtle but open ended lines, it's really imaginative. Can't wait to read more of your work!




Avian says...


Thank you for the review! I'm glad you liked it! smt:051



Avian says...


woops I wrote the emoji thing wrong.... uh well it was supposed to be this at the end of the sentence: :smt051



RandomLady33 says...


Haha glad you liked it my friend %uD83D%uDE1D



User avatar
34 Reviews

Points: 35
Reviews: 34

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Mon Feb 19, 2024 12:24 am
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herbalhour wrote a review...



Hello avian! i'm here to review your work with the YWSeption review. Lets get into it!
Image
Register On To YWS
huh...? what's YWS?
So, first impressions. There's quite a lot of pattern in this, with the 4 lines and the last line of each stanza leading to the next. I also noticed how the term "she" came up a lot (obviously, duh herb.) but it really evoked some strong emotions! good job!

Hop On To Forums
woah! this is really fun!
Welcome Mat
Something that stuck out to me was definitely these lines:

Because she always made me feel sick, and I think a part of me died when she said,
“Kiss me.” And I had to because if I didn’t, she said I’d

Die

this turn was definitely what set the "tone" (which was very interesting, as normally you see the "tone" in the first lines.)
The Lounge
The flow was amazing! the stanzas the set this were definitely:
Everything: something she didn’t take from me.

But surely, she took something,

Because lately every syllable holds her voice,

And often I’ll lie awake and just



Wonder: what she did to me. Why she lied to me.

Did she ever have a hold on me? I have no lasting trauma,

Only questions residing in this labyrinth of a body.

and especially describing how you still hear her echoing in your mind (as every syllable holds her voice.)
Art & Photography
The imagery was really interesting, especially
Shakes my body until it is jumbled into a labyrinth,

Fills my nose with sickly nostalgia and reminds me of

which definitely brought in feelings of childhood, no?

First Review
huh? whats a review? how do i do one?
I don't have any major critisisms!
however:
connotations and memories,
Feelings and words, all attached to something.

maybe make it instead:
connotations and memories,
feelings and words, all attached to something.

or
connotations, memories,
feelings, and words, all attached to something.


Read Some Works
hmm... I like these poems by alliyah... and these stories by Spearmint!
If you want to read some poems that have this more somber feelings i recommend either my age gap or maybe envy's thepastistheprey

Staying On YWS
I think I like it here!
I hope this helped you! I really liked this-- and I hope you aren't friends with this person anymore. Have a nice day/afternoon/night~!

regards,
herbert




Avian says...


Thanks for the review, Herb! You've got a unique and fun format going on here, I like it! (I wonder if it's a submission for the contest... hmmm... I'll have to check later) Also, thanks for pointing out that one stanza. I didn't notice the capitalization inconsistency until now... heh.



Avian says...


hold on, I used auto caps on this poem... well uh... that made me realize that I in fact did not want auto caps.... huh.




France... doesn't exist?
— WeepingWisteria