Your hand intertwined with mine,
My head against your shoulder,
My worrisome torments
and your consoling reassurances.
Your face—
Evergreen, ethereal, heavenly, divine
once again has that tender smile,
it rests under my gaze
and pulls me toward you.
It pervades me with a purpose,
to run no more from the world
but rest and adore you.
You're breathtaking but you're real,
the one who's kinder,
when the world is harsh.
You love me more you tell me,
but you'll never comprehend,
how special you mean to someone
who doesn't allow herself
to have good things.
But you, my dear, are unparallel—
the best in ineffable ways,
and I just can't let you go away,
it's that simple.
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138,733 Literary Works • 672,262 Reviews
EYES
(Talking about descriptions)
A painting of love, very vividly done! But that's not all. There are also colors of feelings of unworthiness shining through, aren't there? A short summary of this poem would be that you love that person (forgive me if it isn't you, I just thought it would be you) and can't let go.
EARS
(Listening to the dissonants, because nothing is ever truly a mistake but dissonants are bad. And when I look at dissonants, it'll mostly be spelling mistakes because I suck at other dissonants.)
No dissonants as far as I see, but maybe in 'it rests under my gaze' you could change 'it' to 'that'. Feel free to ignore my suggestion, though.
HEART
(Saying something nice! And giving fun reminders!)
This poem feels like it was written with one hand (the other intertwined with the beloved's hand) in a sunny meadow, in the shadow of a huge tree. It's light. Filled and fed with happiness.
Unlike other poems I've read, yours doesn't feel like you tore out your heart and put it in paper, and while I usually like it more when they do that, with yours it makes the poem even more impactful, because you have no heart to tear out anymore since you already gave it to them, and I doubt they would let go. (I also like how you managed to write a lovely poem with a lot of emotion without having to rip it out of yourself. That's also a skill.)
Through writing this, you've made me very happy.
And your reminder is that you're enough. You're strong, I'm sure you can protect the good things that come to you.
One day you'll be known for your kindness, your poetry and love as deep as the Mariana Trench.
- Someone who liked this poem very much,
Darlet
That was so sweet of youu thankyou so muchh
Well *coughs* I always have to pull out my musty old dictionary because of you, even for one word atleast
since she doesn't feel deserving of it.Anyways--- this had me awing ^0^
This poem feels like the way of the narrator to pour their feelings out, because they feel too heavy for her--
But then again, the adoration and love for the person has a greater pull then the narrator's desires to push away. So, she just stays, adorning forever-- you know.... Evergreen XD
You just made my day, thank you for writing <3
PS: I have no idea why there were no reviews for two days 😭
This one is too good too go under the rug 🚶♂️
Ahhhh tqsm for reviewing!!!