Werewolfing. 8

by AnarchyWolf

Published August 23, 2016

16+

In Werewolfing

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Chapter Eight

Seb stared from the stranger - Elliot?? - to the shopkeeper, and back again. Elliot backed away, shaking his head, until he bumped up against the shutters.

“Werewolves sell for a lot… Werewolves live in communities… Werewolves are unholy…” Seb watched the man mutter to himself, feeling his hackles stand up like someone was running an electric current through him. A growl burst from his throat. His lips ripped up into a snarl.

The harsh wolf-rasps made the man smile in a way that made Seb’s spine go cold.

“Let us go!” Tanvi demanded, folding her arms. She let her backpack fall to the ground, having probably realised asking to be freed was fruitless, and she adopted a more defensive position.

“Not yet, she-wolf,” the man said, pulling what looked like various glinting tubes from the cash register.

“Seb,” Tanvi whispered urgently, “that’s a microchipper. I watched Cody get microchipped… That’s, that's what they used on her…”

The man picked up a long, thin gun and brandished it alongside the microchipper and a chunky weapon that resembled a machine-gun. Seb had seen that kind of gun a nature documentary a long time ago. Something cold and afraid recoiled in his gut as he recognised the tranquilizer gun, and what would happen if he was shot with it.

Seb gave one coarse warning bark, raising his tail like a flag raised for battle. He surged forwards into a run, claws scrabbling for purchase on the polished floors as he zig-zagged to throw off any darts. The man’s hand closed on the doorknob as Seb pushed up and sailed through the air.

He flung his paws out, opening his jaws for a bite. This was it. He could feel wolf surging through his blood. He could smell grain and bleach, as well as old, male, alcohol, and clean. He tucked his hind legs up to clear the jump, waving his tail out to the side to balance. Everything - the man, the gun turning - was moving in slow motion - this was it!

His back half slammed into the corner of the countertop, sending Seb sprawling into the wall with a dull, bone-breaking thud. He heard Tanvi’s sharp intake of breath, along with her footsteps coming forwards. He looked up - the shopkeeper was just a stride away, and aiming at Tanvi.

Seb made a final push, inching his jaws closer to the man’s leg before he bit down as hard as his jaws would let him. The taste of foul, metallic blood drowned his tongue for a moment before the hunter flailed out and bought the butt of the tranquilizer striking down on Seb's skull at the same as he shoved a knife toward Tanvi and opened the door behind the till.

An alabaster-coated pitbull tumbled out of the room, thundering around the man’s bleeding legs and toward Seb. Its mouth opened, showing off its yellowing teeth, lined up like daggers. Oh no, oh no, no, no no!

Seb was too dizzy to move in time. He howled as the pitbull bit down hard on the mane of fur around his neck. It didn’t let go. The hunter threw Tanvi onto the floor, onto his tail, and kept her in place by holding the tranquilizer to her head before he found a more substantial handgun to subdue her with.

The hunter pointed the blockier weapon - was it a gun? A big baton meant to knock victims unconscious? Seb dreaded the answer - at Seb and whistled. As soon as the pitbull had let go, the hunter pulled the trigger and Seb shut his eyes.

A weighted net fell over him, trapping him instantly. When Tanvi moved to help untangle him, the handgun went off and scraped her thigh. Startlingly red blood wept from the gash in her uniform, the stench of it staining Seb's nose and mind with terror. She stayed absolutely still as the pitbull watched her and the man crouched down and started to check Seb over, pulling back his lips and checking in his eyes like a rough vet.

He reached behind him for the microchip machine, pinching a bit of the fur around Seb's shoulderblades to get ready to inject it. Seb jerked away uselessly, earning a painful jab to the nose. This is bad, so, so very bad... He waited for the pain, peeking out of the corner of an eye.

Behind the hunter, Elliot seemed to have found his confidence again. Come on, come on! Seb watched, hopelessness twisting in his stomach. Seconds passed like minutes as Elliot crept over. The pitbull growled, turning away from Tanvi for a moment.

It had made a mistake.

Her hand snapped out, around its neck, as Elliot pounced and knocked the hunter away. Another kick send the syringe spinning across the floor. One more left the hunter clutching his wrist. Elliot untangled Seb with shaking hands, messing up once or twice and having to redo his progress. As soon as the net was off of his back, Seb wriggled out.

He held the squirming pitbull down, watching the chaos unfold. His hopes came tumbling down again, replaced by that awful feeling of impending doom, as the man reached for the tranquilizer, aimed, and pulled the trigger. There wasn't even time for a warning bark.

Elliot cried out and fell forwards, working out what had happened and ripping the dart out as if it were nothing but a bee sting. Tanvi had grabbed the remote control to the door and shutters, and had thrown it to Seb, before she went back for round two against the hunter. Seb and Elliot fumbled with the remote as they tried to keep the pitbull occupied.

Tanvi grappled with the man, who'd come to resemble a furious, hulking bear. They tussled for a while longer - long enough for Elliot to punch the right buttons - and stepped away once she'd kneed him in the groin and kicked the weapons away as best she could.

“Seb. I-I-I…” her voice shook as much as her body did. Blood still wept from her leg. She looked like she was about to cry. “I’m going to pretend you’re my dog - no, no, don’t look at me like that, not now, please. It’s all we’ve got…”

Seb nodded, getting to his feet. They were weak, as if they were made from kindling. C’mon. Tanvi set to work fashioning a collar and lead out of Seb’s discarded uniform, keeping an eye on the man as they went. It took less than half a minute to complete, before they were running out of the door like deer from a forest fire.

She dragged Elliot behind her like he was a ragdoll, groggy from the little of the drug that he got from the dart, sprinting forwards and taking the closest sidestreet. They vaulted over the wall and ran flat-out by the canal, earning judging glares from the people they pushed aside. They averted their gaze once they saw Seb loping alongside.

All three of them fell to the ground panting when they got to the abandoned factories. Seb lay on his side, flanks rising and falling and tongue lolling out over his lips. Tanvi haunched over, breathing heavy and on the verge of vomiting. Elliot curled against the side of the factory, his breathing erratic and almost not-there.

Sebs eyes rolled in his skull, gazing unseeingly at the sky. Everything was so quiet. He wished the concrete would liquefy and drown him right then and there. Drowning in concrete seemed better than being hunted down by a deranged man with a pitbull.

Tanvi recovered first. Seb took a little longer. He sat up and inhaled deeply, stomach turning slightly at the scent of the snare, covered in his blood and little flecks of his flesh, that lay on the other side of the factory yard.

Elliot still hadn’t recovered. Seb’s ear twitched and his head followed it around to see him still breathing badly, knees drawn up to his chest, and arms wrapped around his legs. He was trembling like a badly-build house in an earthquake.

Seb made an uff to get Tanvi’s attention, and motioned to Elliot. She followed him over and crouched down beside him, rubbing his back in soothing circles. Seb sat down next to Elliot, brushing against his sides to reassure him.

“Hey, Elliot,” Tanvi said softly, “it’s okay now, you’re safe. It’s all fine now.”

Seb watched her pull Elliot away from the panic attack. That was another thing he loved about her - she could go from teasing to protective and caring in a second. A long time ago, she’d helped Seb adjust to urban life as a werewolf.

Elliot calmed down a little, unfolding his limbs into a more comfortable position. He looked at Tanvi, and then Seb.

“Elliot, how do you know that man?”

He looked up at the sky, and then around the yard. No response.

Tanvi shook his shoulders, and then let go of him abruptly, guiltily. “Why do you ignore us? We’re trying to help!”

Elliot dropped his gaze to his lap. He was still shivering. “I can’t hear.”

But it didn’t sound like that. It was a mess of noises that took a little bit of deciphering. His voice was gravelly and unused and didn’t sound right coming from him.

“Oh.”

“It’s fine. That man is a werewolf hunter.” Elliot spoke slowly, annunciating better, “he microchipped me to get me to… word… find! To get me to find other werewolves for him to sell.”

Seb whined.

Tanvi continued, “so he’s here to kill us?”

“You’re lucky if he kills you.”

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Megrim
Review
Megrim wrote a review Review · Sep 7, 2016

Same deal - reading and typing at the same time.

Werewolves sell! I didn't anticipate that. I thought he'd be out to kill them just to be rid of them. Come to think of it, I bet werewolf pelts, teeth, hearts, paws, would make valuable commodities. Oooh you've got my mind working.

Michrochips aren't given by a machine, technically. It's just a syringe mechanism with a really big needle. Injects the tiny little capsule under the skin. Instead of "microchip machine" maybe just call it a "microchipper?

I feel like the man hasn't really done enough to secure/subdue them. He used some mojo on Seb, which worked great, and then he locked the door. But the other two are just standing there, and now he just lunges at them? How about some more traps/spells/whatever. I feel like he'd be really competent at catching werewolves, and things should feel more dire for the characters. Telling them to "stand still" is kind of silly :P

A note on this bad guy - he's a little stereotypical. Especially with the "alcohol" and "unclean" part. Just because he's the antagonist doesn't mean he has to be thoroughly detestable and irredeemable. He's the owner of a vegan shop, remember? What if he's deceptively nice, clean-cut, charming? (Or any number of other archetypes)

Pet peeve - while Seb's lunging, why is Tani just standing there with a sharp intake of breath? And Elliot? In fiction we aren't focused on them so we sort of ignore them. In real life, they'd be doing stuff, and lots would be happening at once. (I ESPECIALLY hate when women do nothing but stand there and be helpless, which happens all the freaking time in SF/F tv shows lately)

"Crashes echoed around the shop before the shutters started to open again and the door lock clicked open." - what's going on here?

I THINK Tanvi pummeled that guy, but it's pretty vague. Maybe show a little more of what happens? They're suddenly rather calm, fashioning a leash and collar and all (love that idea lol)

"Tanvi recovered first." - talking about them recovering would feel even stronger if the guy had used more spells/traps on them and really given all 3 of them a hard time or a big tussle.

Deaf! He's deaf! I LOVE YOU. Okay so I was totally going to speculate that he had a disability, but I was thinking couldn't speak, or didn't really have a great idea, which is why I didn't mention it before. But I LOVE that he's deaf. That's great. It's really fun, explains a lot, and adds diversity to the cast.

Personally I'd maybe shorten how much Elliot explains, so it's not giving away too much at once (leave it for more showing, less telling. I'd go with something like, "It's fine. He microchipped me. To... find. To get me to find other werewolves for him to sell." And I'd leave it there. The stuff about being beaten is kind of a sinister implication, that we can learn more about later (spread out your breadcrumbs).

Ok so you simply must tell me when the next chapters are up! Good luck and happy writing!

Thank you for reviewing :)

Yeah... my only excuse is that I wrote this in a rush, so it's pretty sloppy. I shall tidy it up, though, before I post chapter nine. I really hate that trope/stereotype, too, and I'm sorry Tanvi came across that way - she's meant to be the power gal. I'll also change the antagonist a little bit, to make him something other than a simple archetype. Amends will be made.

-AnarchyWolf

User avatar
BluesClues
Review
BluesClues wrote a review Review · Sep 7, 2016

...okay, so he can't hear, as in he's deaf? Can he read speech? I assume not, based on the evidence: his constant silent staring. I'd think, if he could read speech, he would've picked up on something they'd said before and responded, if his whole reason for not responding was that he couldn't hear. Yet when Tanvi says, "So he's here to kill us," Elliot responds as if he knows exactly what she said.

Which is like fine except that, as stated, it doesn't seem like he can speech read.

On that note, his voice is gravelly and practically incomprehensible at first, and he needs time to figure out the word "find" (if I interpreted that correctly), but he can come up with words like "microchipped"? That seemed a bit odd.

I'm hooked, though. I'm so curious about this, and I'm glad we've got a name for Elliot now and a bit of backstory.

Oh, I also forgot to mention in that last review I left--I like that Seb went to find Elliot without even really thinking about it when Elliot went missing at the restaurant. Reason being, we got to see Seb complaining (fairly reasonably, too) about having to share his room with this weird kid who didn't speak and stared like a demon and BIT him when they first met. So he could've easily morphed into a whiny, melodramatic character who made too much out of it, but instead we saw him complain a reasonable amount and then saw him act contrary to how we might have expected. It just showed him as a decent person who isn't going to let someone get into trouble--even if he doesn't much like that someone. It was a really nice characterizing moment.

P.S. Can you tag me or something when you post more of this?

Thank you for reviewing :) And I'll tag you when I post the ninth chapter.

Gah I have so much to redo when I edit this. I'll try to make everything clearer in chapter nine. Elliot can lip-read, but refused to talk before because he's insecure about how he sounds (and he was terrified of Seb and his family, although that hasn't really been made clear yet).

-AnarchyWolf

Oh, okay. I can see that.

User avatar
Arouet
Review
Arouet wrote a review Review · Aug 28, 2016

Hey there again!
Decided to do this one out of convenience since I did the last one as well. Just keep in mind that I haven't been following the storyline line and I am only here to give my opinion on grammatical, punctuation and story error.
My Critique:

-"Seb stared from the stranger - Elliot?? - to the shopkeeper, and back again"
You cannot put a thought in a middle of a sentence, it is very disorientating to the reader.
Try rephrase it to something like: "Seb stared from the stranger to the shopkeeper and back again. "Elliot?" he thought."
Also notice that I only put in one question mark. As much as we like to emphasise like that via texting, it isn't allowed in the writing world.

-"Tanvi haunched over, breathing heavy." It should be written, "Tanvi haunched over, breathing heavily."

-"He was trembling like a badly-build house in an earthquake."
Should be written, "He was trembling like a badly-built house in an earthquake." (Built, not build)

Other than that its fine, not much else to say other than keep it up and good luck!

Sorry for the late reply. Kinda forgot this was here. Thank you for the review and pointing out the errors! I'll redo them when I start to edit the story properly :)

-AnarchyWolf



The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling.
— Fabienne Fredrickson