Draining away the aches of the day
I hardly hear the echoes of sound
slipping through the sweet scents of May.
.
Eyes closed, the sun heats my face as I lay
soaking in rays of golden tonic, downed
for soothing away the aches of the day.
.
Next goes thoughts, they barely stay
in my head, as peace comes around,
filtering through: sweet scents of May.
.
Flushed finally down, my nerves un-fray.
I rest, lost in my paradise, not to be found,
fracturing away the echoes of my day.
.
I stay, relaxed as I splay
across this sun-warmed mound
exposing the sweet scents of May.
.
Lights play, and my thoughts obey
to avoid wandering towards the profound,
instead, they drain away, just aches of the day
slipping through to the sweet sense of May.
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140,137 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hello, Aley! Raven here for a review as requested. Now I am sorry if this does meet your poetry reviewing standards; I do not review much poetry. So... let's begin.
I love the rhyming scheme that went on right there. The endings of "day" and "May" never really got old in my opinion. However, with the ends of ending lines being the same, I sorta expected the ends of the beginning lines to be the same too. Also, the closing of the first line was "day", so I was to believe (for only a few seconds) that, that was how to poem was going to be.
The way the pictures were painted was lovely. Not too much and not too little. Just enough to let me see what was going on. I feel like there is a lot more to this work that I am missing. It's so beautiful. It seems like there is someone laying in the grass, taking in the sun beams, while smelling the flowers that bloom in May. Which makes it very peaceful and relaxing.
I'm not sure what else I could say about this. To me, it was executed wonderfully. So, I hope this meets your expectations. Sorry for such a short review.
~Rae,
Hello, pandabear7 here to do a review. I like this poem, except for the fact I don't see much imageries. But then again, you might not have wanted it too. I like the rhymes though
I don't see any grammar problems! I just love it when people know how to spell. 
Keep up the good work Aley!!!
Sincerely Panda
Good Evening! A Demon here to give your piece a fair glance
First and foremost; It was a good poem! I like the sweetness in it and it put me in this soothing mood, even though it's not the happiest poem I've read it doesn't have that many dark shades as to how the mood was affected. Something I could've done without it the repetition, I assume it was done on intension but it makes it a little dull to read and doesn't add much new imagery to the piece which makes a lot of lines unnecessary. Altogether I enjoyed this quite much though, as any piece of art it can always be improved but it works just fine as it is
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
Nice job with the poem! I also love poetry so I am great at analyzing the meaning of lyrical statements. The statement "Lights play, and my thoughts obey" really touched me. I could sense every bit of emotion put in to the poem. The first thing that really impressed me was how delicate the words seemed. I can relate a lot to every meaning of the poem. Which is great. Having the ability to connect with the reader is a rare aspect that authors tend to not understand, but you seem to fully assess the process of connecting the reader with your own situation. The poem was beautiful and I could basically picture your emotion while reading this! Well done my friend, well done!