Young Writers Society

I love how this poem manages to say a lot through little. It also does a very well job of describing the political climate of what I assume is the states.

I think the reference to the wall was very well put, and really lent a deeper understanding to your stance on the matter. The 'mongrel' part was also perfectly understood - and I just have to say, I agree.

I also enjoyed the narrative of the poem, the evolvement of keeping peace with those you disagree with to revolting against their hatred. The part about the nuclear power is also very clever, alluding to the threat of nuclear war the U.S always seems to be facing or creating. The line "nuclear power. We hit the button." struck such a chord with me, the idea of taking something fearful and full of hatred and turning it towards the oppressors for our own gain.

Also, I had to look up what an acrostic was, but I really enjoyed coming back and reading the first letter of every line. "I'm sorry for the pain" perfectly sums up a lot of the U.S's politics right now.

This was a joy to read and I'm glad you wrote it.

Keep writing!

- J.

Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Congratulations on writing an acrostic poem. It definitely isn't easy. You certainly do have an ability to write down thought-provoking concepts in very vivid ways. I like the reference to fellow Terrans since it adds a certain Sci Fi charm to the poem and opens up certain interpretations that were hitherto not possible. It dovetails nicely with the use of nuclear weapons in self defense.

Not sure what the poem means by "mongrels" or "mutts". Both terms refer to interracial or interspecies mixing. Care to explain?

Suggestion

I would remove the reference to building a wall and to mongrels since they will connote racism for certain readers who might imagine that the poem is using innuendos to convey current political agendas involving illegal immigration.

BTW

The prior review was deleted because it isn't relevant. I misunderstood the poem. My apology