the border between waking and dreaming blurs like rain on the window,
and the dull pang of thunder only hurts my head.
I lie here, drowning in an ocean of silence,
my dreams floating through it like a school of fish
(but i have not learned anything, have i?
for what does consciousness accomplish except rhetorical questions?)
I am lying still, soaked in regret and sadness,
(or was it joy and acceptance? my former self would say either "yes" or "no")
i am a sponge that i cannot wring out. i am bloated with contradictions.
i'll drown myself in baking soda, to wash out my acid.
All I have is your love (an empty void),
although i'd much rather have your attention (a bountiful harvest).
Perhaps i prefer attention to affection (i am a cold-hearted rose)
attention I can put on an excel spreadsheet but love is unquantifiable (dangerous)
Do I only love what I do not know?
Do I only know what I do not love?
Maybe I love everything and know nothing, or love nothing and know everything.
the sun is rising, or maybe finally setting?
And my pain demands to be felt.
so i guess this ocean of emotion shall suffice.