Young Writers Society

Hello there 1nspire!

This is a poignant little short you have here. I like how this is from the POV of the elderly George, how he's reminiscing on the rocking chair and his beloved wife. It's sweet and cute, but sad, in a way.

Though the fact that this story does center on the rocking chair and what it means to George doesn't seem to fit quite right under the story's title. "Those Were the Days" leads a person to believe that this story will be about how the past was so much better than the present, and while your story did hint at that (Even so, he was thankful for all the great times in his life.), it was just a hint and not the point. The point of the story is the rocking chair, and for that, I think the title is kind of misleading.

If the story is going to be about the good old days, I think you should talk more about those "great times in his life". (I am a little curious about the kids, I'll admit - what they were like, and such). What made those days so wonderful in contrast to now, when he's sad and alone. </3 But if it's centered on the rocking chair, then let it be so! :p How much it means to him (we saw what it meant to his wife), how it stuck with their family after all these years, and conclude the story with a statement or thought on it. Your ending line was sentimental and sweet, but I didn't feel as if it really related to the rocking chair...?

Anyhow, that's all I'll say for now. This was lovely but I felt as if there's a lot more that could be said about his wife, about George himself.

Thanks for sharing this story, and have a great day!

~rosette <3

Really good short story. Enjoyed every second of it!

This might be a weird comparison, but in a strange way this story reminded me of "Of Mice and Men". However, only in the way that it was so impressively concise and straightforward - you clearly wrote this story with one intent in mind, and did a great job setting up the story simply because of the one goal you had in mind. I am very impressed with how quickly you were able to create an entire story and world.
My only criticisms come down to wording and the way you write the sentences. At times, they can sound a little awkward. For example, when you say "money had been tight for them then", reading this out loud to yourself you would've noticed it sounds a little awkward. Perhaps "Money had been tight at the time" would sound better?
Also, like I learned from an English teacher once upon a time, sentence starter variety goes a long ways. You seem to start a lot of sentences similarly, with "him" or "he" or "it." This is definitely not always a bad thing, and it actually works here, but I would like to caution you in future writing that it can get boring - it's one of my own faults in writing.
Very touching story! Keep up the word.

Heya, 1nspire! It's erilea here for a quick review. Let's get to it!

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The sight of it sent memories careening through hiss head, forcing his eyes closed.

All the kids had graduated and gone on to do great things in the world, but the chair remained.

His wife had passed nearly 10 years ago, and the kids rarely visited. Even so, he was thankful for those great times in his life.

Just a quick short story, I don't actually know what I just wrote