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E - Everyone

Missing One

by 1nspire

“Cream or sugar?” “No, thank you.” He had already known the answer, it hadn’t changed in twenty years, but he would always ask just in case.

   He set the cup on the table beside her plate before planting a light kiss on her head. Her eyes remained on the table in a blank stare. With a deep breath, he took his place, reaching a hand across the table for their morning prayer. Out of habit, he extended the other to the now empty chair. She had done the same. There eyes met in silent understanding, both leaving their hand  in the space as they said grace. 

   They ate breakfast in silence, neither sure of what to say. Ella has always been the talkative one anyway. It was only appropriate for them to listen, even if she wasn’t there to talk.

  Every once and a while he would let his gaze return to the chair, it was easier than looking at his wife. Easier than seeing the pain that lied in her eyes and easier than seeing the reflection of his daughter’s face. They had looked so alike. 

    It was times like this that hurt the most, knowing how much pain they were both in and feeling powerless against it. Without a word, he picked up his plate, collecting hers as well, and carried them to the counter. 

“I love you.” He said softly with a kiss on her cheek.

She tried to smile, but her face fell almost immediately. “I love you too.” It was barely a whisper.

   Slowly, he made his way to the outside, glancing over his shoulder before leaving. It wasn’t until the door closed that he allowed the tears to fall.

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42 Reviews

Points: 8
Reviews: 42

Tue May 07, 2019 6:43 pm
seekingthetruth says...

very good at setting the scene made me feel like I was watching this play out. just a few tips to help.

its good but I think you need to do more on the story because we have no idea what happened to their daughter and I know this may seem like I am intrigued because I am but because it suddenly jumped in like that I felt like I was half way through a book and just skipped the whole plot. this is the only criticism I could find it was a really great idea just think , does it need a backstory so the readers don't think they skipped a whole book.

spelling , punctuation and grammer great, next time use different sentances.

well done 8.9/10

1nspire says...

Thanks for the review!

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42 Reviews

Points: 8
Reviews: 42

Mon May 06, 2019 8:04 pm
seekingthetruth wrote a review...

ok just skimmed read this because too me this has no prospects no emotive lauangue it does not speak to me like some others I have read because their is no great feel of a dramatic plot hole and the title does not make sense. I can see you have potential but don't write a romance story if you use no emotive lauague then it is just plain boring. I however did like how you set the scene that was great I felt like I was their but it lacked a ceartain magic I did not feel the love that I have read in other books. I did not even get the plot. the title was great that's why I chose to review it but left me utterly disappointed.

well done
3/10 , not reccomend

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99 Reviews

Points: 48
Reviews: 99

Mon May 06, 2019 9:59 am
Tawsif wrote a review...

Hi. It's Tawsif here for a review.

I liked the story pretty much. It was brief, emotional, and touching. You reflected the emotions of the characters nicely.

But probably more details on how the couple lost their child would grab more attention and sympathy from the readers. Maybe You can elaborate this a little more.

Here's one thing I'd recommend:

'Easier than seeing the pain that lied in her eyes and easier than seeing the reflection of his daughter’s face.'

Here you can omit the second 'easier than', you'd repeated it a number of times already.

Decent job, 1nspire! Keep writing.

1nspire says...

Thank you

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Points: 25
Reviews: 4

Sun May 05, 2019 3:48 am
tupa42 wrote a review...

A quick typo to note: I'm sure tears should be years in the first sentence.
I appreciate the unsaid that is left in the wake of the actions of the parents. It is hard to encapsulate grief in such few sentences, but I think you did so well. I can really feel the heartbreak of them. Overall a very touching piece.

1nspire says...

Thank you, I really appreciate the review

You can not put the entire Bee Movie in the quote generator.
— alliyah