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Iceflame// Chapter 12: Meet the Elite

by SalisRuinen


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Most of the crowd in the inner yard was still too shocked to respond in any way.

The members of Annabel Xea’s class weren’t among them, though, roaring triumphantly as they ran towards Yuki, their newest classmate who had just defeated the high school's tyrannical queen.

Eventually many other students also started cheering, an exception to that being Ulura’s class who had gathered around the fallen queen.

She had covered her face, sending one of her classmates who had leaned closer to her in the air with a green laser shot and not a single word spoken.

Meanwhile Hikaru and Seiren pulled Yuki to them before Annabel could reach her to perform her duties as the class’s chief medic, the battered ice maiden leaning on both for support as the hot-headed three looked at each other and smiled.

(Hikaru) ‘-You did great, Yu. But try not to scare me like that again.’

(Seiren) ‘-We were hardly able to keep this bastard from intervening even after what you said. A bit longer and he would’ve lost control completely.’

(Vega) ‘-As if you were any different, Seiren.’

(Yuki) ‘-Thanks, guys. Thank you for letting me do this on my own.’

(King) ‘-That was one hell of a fight, Yuki! I didn’t know you could teleport with a static deva like yours!! You surprised all of us there!!’

(Yuki) ‘-Huh? That’s not a normal thing? (she paused only for a moment because of the confusion before the bright smile returned to her face) Well, I don’t know how it happened exactly, but thanks, King!’

The girl with flowing dark brown hair, hazel eyes and a complexion just a tone darker than the average saw Yuki was surrounded by the boys at this point and none of them clearly paid any attention to her state because they were so impressed by the battle. The initiative needed to be taken by someone if Miss Iceflame was to be stabilized, so Annabel shoved her way between the boys along with the rest of the girls from the class to reach her.

Annabel: ‘-Step aside, you brutes. (finally she reached the wounded warrior) You got pretty roughed up during that fight, Yuki. Let me help you.’

(Yuki) ‘-You can do that?’

(Annabel) ‘-Your hands, please.’

Miss Xea stretched out her hands, Yuki putting her hands in those of her classmate, cyan energy starting to spread from the one girl’s body to that of the other, the wounds starting to heal wherever that energy passed through.

Upon closer inspection, the hot heads’ medic realized she had never seen someone who had been wounded worse. A number of cuts across the whole body, some of those on the upper half of the right arm and the right thigh being quite deep, the deepest being across the left side of the middle trapezius. Alongside that, puncture wounds that were a bit shallower were spread throughout the torso.

She was covered in so much blood that there wasn’t an inch of her underwear that had preserved its original white color. Something definitely wasn’t right with this picture. Anyone else who had sustained such damage would not be able to fight actively enough to take down the strongest female in Sunbird, let alone talk and laugh after that. The girl’s stamina was beyond even supernatural levels.

(Yuki) ‘-Wow. That’s a great deva. Thank you … um …’

(Annabel) ‘-Annabel. Don’t strain yourself with trying to remember my name now. We’ll have plenty of time for that. And I’m the one who should be thanking you. As should probably everyone else in this yard.’

(Yuki) ‘-Why?’

(Exo) ‘-Ulura has been terrorizing most people in school, including some from her own class, for a while now. Everyone hated her, but no one could stop her.’

Tokura jumped straight at Yuki with a dreamy extrawide grin at that point, his arms spread so he could hug her.

(Tokura) ‘-But things changed today because of our queen right here!’

Annabel smashed an elbow in the pseudoknight’s gut before he could reach his target.

(Annabel) ‘-Back off, Tora. She’s in no condition for your bullshit right now. And neither am I.’

(Tokura) ‘-B-but why …? She just showed everyone that she’s hot like hell, she’s strong and is willing to risk her life to protect our school! Now that Yuki’s been accepted as Sunbird’s white goddess, I just want to give her a hug as a sign of my fealty and appreciation!!’

No one of the class had paid much attention to the fact Yuki was half-naked up until then, the white-haired beauty immediately being overtaken with shame when she heard Tokura’s words.

Hikaru then took off his uniform’s blazer and gave it to her so she could cover herself while he and Seiren stood between the medic-patient duo and everyone else around.

(Hikaru) ‘-Don’t any of you bastards look!’

(Seiren) ‘-That’s right! That honor’s reserved just for me!’

A lightning-clad fist smacked the pervert across the jaw then, his rather angry rival being responsible for that.

(Hikaru) ‘-You’re forbidden from looking most of all, Blackscale!!’

As a fight was about to break out between those two and between the students who insisted on talking to the amnesiac and her classmates who had formed a defensive wall around her, a mixture of pale red and orange flames burst from the tallest central part of the main school building.

Out of those flames came a big fiery bird that descended upon the yard, a deafening sound coming out of its mouth as the flapping of its huge wings caused the forming of gusts of hot wind, many students screaming in terror and running back inside the building.

Exo was the one who screamed the loudest but who at the same time could move his body the least because he was gripped by fear. Annabel couldn’t blame him, because she felt some of that fear as well while the phoenix landed before the hot heads.

(Random student) ‘-It’s the headmaster! Find cover! Run before he incinerates us all!!’

As usual, headmaster Zoran Lawell exuded enormous amounts of both light and heat, the power emanated by his deva echoing probably even beyond the school grounds although it was limited to just 30%. Annabel or any of the others had never been this close to him, however, so all of them started sweating, some – quite profusely. Whether it was because of the heat or because they were afraid, the hot heads’ medic couldn’t say.

Another burst of pale red and orange flames led to the replacement of the creature by a man in his late 30s – early 40s with very long and shiny straight black hair, black eyes and warm ivory skin, who wore a black coat over a suit that consisted of a brighter red waistcoat and trousers and a darker red shirt, his belt and formal shoes being black, having a rather stern expression right now.

(Hikaru) ‘-Headmaster, about what’s happened here …’

Mr. Lawell raised a hand to interrupt the hot heads’ negotiator.

(Zoran) ‘-Hold it, Hikaru. I saw everything. (his gaze focused on Yuki now, which immediately made her look away with a guilty expression, Annabel letting go of the amnesiac’s hands to stop the healing process and standing in front of her) I must say this is not the sort of behavior I was expecting when you enrolled in our school, Miss Iceflame.’

(Seiren) ‘-Yuki acted the way she did to protect the school! If you were watching, you should know most of the damage you see around you was done by Nightsong! If it wasn’t for our baby, a whole lot more of Sunbird would’ve been destroyed!!’

(Yuki) ‘-Annabel, move away. (the medic turned with shock to her patient, the new student looking very serious now) I carry some of the responsibility for what happened here, so I will accept the consequences.’

Annabel felt she should respect what the warrior who still had quite a few injuries left unhealed, so she stepped aside.

(Zoran) ‘-If that’s the case … (he leaned closer to Miss Iceflame and put his hand on her shoulder with a warm smile) … it’s OK. Don’t worry.’

There had been few times in the young medic’s life where she had felt her jaw might literally fall off her face from shock as much as she felt it now. Looking around her classmates, their expressions were as full of bewilderment as her own.

(King) ‘-So that’s it? We’re cool?’

(Zoran) ‘-If I have to be honest, Ulura was a problem for me as well. Her family makes a number of donations to our school every year and it would not be an overstatement to say Sunbird has survived as it is because of the Nightsongs. There aren’t many deviants who want to financially support our school and much fewer who have the resources to do so, which is why I was forced to accept the contributions from Ulura’s family all this time. While relying on that money, I couldn’t really take any measures to punish her in spite of the fact she tortured everyone. (he turned his attention from King back to Yuki) If one of the students was able to take care of putting her in her place however, I could say it was out of my hands. That’s why as soon as I saw someone was able to hold their ground against Miss Nightsong for as long as you did, Miss Iceflame, I thought a perfect opportunity had presented itself. I ordered the teachers and staff to stay alert but not intervene in the fight unless absolutely necessary. While there was more damage than I expected, I would still like to say I’m very grateful to you, young lady. And I want to apologize for exposing you to such danger on your very first day here. You’d be well within your rights to leave Sunbird after what happened and I will make no objection on the matter if that’s what you wish.’

(Yuki) ‘-It was quite an extreme first day, I’ll admit. Then again, every day since I arrived in Deckstoru has been extreme, so it’s nothing new. If I leave Sunbird, I’ll have to attend a high school in another city and be separated from everyone here and I don’t want that. Moreover, I’m not sure another school would accept me with the troublemaker name I seem to have made for myself. I’d like to stay right here, if that’s possible.’

(Zoran) ‘-It’s more than possible. I would welcome it, Yuki! (everyone around the class’s newest troublemaker took a sigh of relief as all the tension in the air finally disappeared, Yuki herself beaming with joy) It appears you will need some additional medical treatment, by the way. Annabel can’t heal such wounds at 50% output.’

(Exo) ‘-We’ll be taking her to the nurse’s office, then.’

(Zoran) ‘-Do that and get right back to class. Today’s schedule has been ruined enough as it is. Yuki’s excused from classes until the end of the day, of course, so she can get proper rest. (he looked at the baby doll again) And since you’ve decided to stay and contribute to the school’s future, Miss Iceflame, I expect you sharp and ready for work tomorrow!’

(Annabel) ‘-Work, sir? What work would that be?’

Zoran’s smiling face turned back into his stern frown.

(Zoran) ‘-I said not to worry but I didn’t say there won’t be any punishment for Yuki’s actions. Enough school rules were broken today to leave this scene without reprimanding the students responsible.’

(Seiren) ‘-Reprimand Ulura, then! She’s the one who’s most responsible here! I told you!’

(Zoran) ‘-As I already explained, Seiren, I can’t punish her. Ulura’s parents will not be happy with what happened here and will claim their daughter was the victim. They’ll insist someone be punished for what’s been done to her.’

(Tokura) ‘-So you’re throwing Yuki under the bus after she dealt with the most troublesome person in school for you? Sounds to me like all your problems are solved while someone else who’s completely innocent will take the blame, sir.’

The phoenix shifter smiled awkwardly and scratched his head upon hearing that.

(Zoran) ‘-It does sound quite bad when you say it like that, but that’s why I told Yuki there’s no need to worry. The punishment won’t be anything severe. It’s just a formality to appease the Nightsongs.’

(Yuki) ‘-And what will the punishment be exactly?’

(Zoran) ‘-You’ll have to fix all the damage that’s been done to the yard and the main school building, clean the pool, the gym, the bathrooms and some of the rooms. Nothing much.’

(Hikaru) ‘-Excuse me, headmaster, but even with Yuki’s abilities, that sounds like a whole lot of work for one person!’

Zoran now turned to Hikaru, patting his shoulder with an encouraging wink.

(Zoran) ‘-Right you are, Hikaru! That’s why you and the rest of the class are going to help her out with all the cleaning.’

Another unprecedented jaw-dropping moment.

(Seiren) ‘-We can’t possibly do all this today! We’ve still got classes! And what about our club activities?!’

(Zoran) ‘-You can get to work when you’re finished with today’s classes. And as for the club activities, I’ll excuse all of you from those until the week’s end.’

(King) ‘-But why until the week’s end?’

(Zoran) ‘-Because you’ll be doing this all week long. Our cleaning staff members have been exhausted by having to clean up the aftermath of each mess the students make and this newest one would definitely be the end of them, so I’ll let them rest this week while you do their job. Now that the attention of Ulura’s class will be focused on her and they won’t be causing any trouble, you won’t be fighting them at every turn and will have more free time on your hands. Might as well use it to repair some damage rather than cause it for a change.’

(Tokura) ‘-Are we gonna get paid for this, then?’

(Zoran) ‘-No, Tokura. This is punishment.’

(Vega) ‘-That’s just straight-up criminal, sir! Can’t we …’

Zoran’s expression had become even sterner, now appearing to be borderline angry as his eyes were engulfed in his two-color phoenix flames.

(Zoran) ‘-Do you have an issue with the punishment, Vega? Or maybe one of your classmates does?’

(Exo) ‘-No, no, no, sir! No issue at all!! We’ll do all the things you’ve told us to! For the whole week! Even for longer, if needs be!’

(Annabel) ‘-Come on, Yuki. I’ll take you to the nurse while these suckers get back to class.’

Annabel knew the way to the nurse’s office better than anyone as she often assisted her when some student got hurt too bad. It was in the same part of the main school building as the canteen, only on the second floor. And since she knew nurse Neana Ilre better than any of her classmates, she thought it best to personally prepare Yuki for her first visit with Sunbird’s main medic.

On the way there she could tell the ice maiden felt very guilty as she avoided eye contact with her classmate and as a whole looked at the floor while walking forward.

(Annabel) ‘-Yuki, are you …’

(Yuki) ‘-I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me, Annabel. Anywhere I go, I get in trouble. And what’s worse, I get those around me in trouble. This time around, it’s my classmates that will have to pay for my mistakes.’

A whole-hearted laugh came out of Annabel when she heard that, confusing the new student.

(Annabel) ‘-That’s what’s bothering you? I don’t think you quite yet realize what a class you’ve become a part of, girl. We’ve been getting ourselves in trouble like this and worse long before you came along. That’s just who we are. I for one am actually relieved you have a penchant for getting in trouble yourself! That means we’re bound to get along really well!’

Those words succeeded in bringing some happiness to the baby doll, judging by her expression, just then the duo stopping in front of a pink wooden door that had ‘NURSE’S OFFICE’ written on it with dark purple metal letters.

(Yuki) ‘-Looks like I made the right choice by staying in Sunbird, then.’

(Annabel) ‘-Absolutely. We’re here, by the way. (she knocked on the door and then turned to Yuki) Now, about our nurse. Neana is also the deputy headmaster of Sunbird, so she’s very strong. She looks a bit weird, but is a really nice person, so long as you don’t say anything about her appearance. Just a piece of advice from me: focus on all the other stuff she’s put in the room to not look at her too much, don’t say anything bad about the headmaster and you’ll be fine.’

(Yuki) ‘-I’ve seen all kinds of weird stuff for the last couple of days and have been around quite a few dangerous and unstable people. I think I’ll be fine.’

Neana partially opened the door then, sticking out her long scrawny neck with a pale-skinned bald head attached to it that had a number of stitches on it, mostly on the pate, deep dark circles under its icy blue eyes and some black cracks on the skin around the lips wearing dark blue lipstick.

The white-haired beauty was clearly not prepared for such a sight despite her words.

(Neana) ‘-I was wondering when the famous queenslayer of Sunbird would find her way here. Come in, then. We have a lot of restructuring to do.’


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Tue May 24, 2022 4:13 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi again, I'm back for chapter 12! I feel like I should be further through, but I'm determined to at least get up to chapter 14 today so that means another review after this one. I'll keep this one quite short as it looks like you have some reviews already and I don't want to repeat their feedback.

I like how we're having more and more glimpses into how Yuki's deva might not quite be the same as everyone else's. It keeps getting brushed past but I'm sure it will come back in a big way later on in the novel.

I can't believe it's taken until now for the headmaster to show up (given that there was already a fight before this one at lunch that started the whole thing) but I like the idea that he wanted Yuki to put Ulura in her place, though did he actually think she would win?
His character is a bit all over the place at the moment with punishments and thankfulness. I almost...don't like him? I'm not sure if that's what you've intended but I'll try to reserve judgement for later on.

There's an awful lot of characters now, so you'll need to find time to develop some of them and (presumably) let others drop more into the background. At the moment we have a lot of acquaintance type characters with some defining aspects but they're largely forgettable. I need more interactions with them to remember who they are. I like Annabel so far though.

Icy




SalisRuinen says...


Really appreaciate the review!
Zoran was just quietly observing the fight to see how it went, being ready to step in at any moment should the need for that arise, but just when he was getting ready to intervene after the school building was hit, Yuki went and defeated Ulura. So no, he didn't initially know if she was going to win, but having seen her performance on the news, he had high hopes.
My intention is to have mixed emotions about the headmaster, yes. His actions are often contradictory and seem confusing (if not scary) to his students, which makes his character quite a mysterious one %u2013 one whose mysteries will be uncovered much later on in the story.
Acquaintance type characters are inevitable in any story, but don't worry. The focus will shortly return to the main three with the others getting their moment to shine later on.



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Mon May 16, 2022 8:56 am
VengefulReaper says...



Hey, just here to leave a quick review!

This was a good aftermath chapter here. One thing you have done really well is giving us an explanation of the absence of the teachers. I certainly didn't expect the headmaster to purposefully withhold the teachers from intervening so that Yuki could put Ulura in her place. At this point, I'm getting the feeling the headmaster is being blackmailed by Ulura's family to deal with her behavior. But it is a sticky situation to be in. He'd rather put up with her than lose the funding that goes into running the school.

So, we have a medic (Annabel) and a flame phoenix (Zoran) added to our cast. From the initial reaction of the students, Zoran is quite the powerhouse even if he's just at 30%. You certainly do a great job of conveying the fear he strikes into the students when he unleashes it.

As for some aspects that need work:

Another burst of pale red and orange flames led to the replacement of the creature by a man in his late 30s – early 40s with very long and shiny straight black hair, black eyes and warm ivory skin, who wore a black coat over a suit that consisted of a brighter red waistcoat and trousers and a darker red shirt, his belt and formal shoes being black, having a rather stern expression right now.

This sentence is way too long. There are too many things being described here. Try to break it up into two sentences. The first is his physical features (eyes, hair, age) and the second is what he's wearing (waistcoat, shirt, shoes etc.). Also, I know we usually indicate 30 to 40 as 30-40 but when you write, if I recall correctly, you need to say "Late 30s to early 40s". If you don't, people think you're using a dash or misusing a hyphen which isn't what you're going for (I think).

Annabel knew the way to the nurse’s office better than anyone as she often assisted her when some student got hurt too bad. It was in the same part of the main school building as the canteen, only on the second floor. And since she knew nurse Neana Ilre better than any of her classmates, she thought it best to personally prepare Yuki for her first visit with Sunbird’s main medic.

This is a good time to add a little more description. Yuki has never been to the nurse's office. Take a break from dialogue to briefly explain what she sees on her way there. You can also describe what the interior of the nurse's office looked like. Yuki has never been to a nurse's office. Think of the smell of sanitizers (does she like it? Does she cough when she inhales it?), or perhaps she catches a glimpse at needles and it freaks her out? Describe the room even if it is just briefly.

Nevertheless, those are just nitpicks. One round of editing will do the trick. There's not a lot to change. It's good to see Yuki has found a class that accepts her and is just as much of a troublemaker as she is. Looking forward to finding out who Neana is and what she can do in the next chapter hopefully. I can feel these past few chapters building to something greater and rivalries forming that will be entertaining to read in the future.

Thus far, I am really enjoying the novel. It has strong characterization and the setup is being handled really well. Overall, your pacing has been on point for the content of the chapters. I'm hoping to see things slow down a little. See how the fight has affected the character interactions on a normal day of school and hopefully see some quality time with the class as they clean up the mess caused by the fight.

As always, take what you find useful and discard the rest. Keep writing!
The reaper sends his regards.




SalisRuinen says...


Thanks very much for the review!
I was pretty sure I split the description sentence for Zoran in two, but I guess I should've checked again. Also, I had no idea there was a rule like that for writing ages, so a big thanks for informing me!
I was already told I need to add some description of the school's interior, but I haven't got to editing this chapter yet and that's why I haven't fixed it. As for the nurse's office, the next chapter begins with a description of it. I deliberately wrote Neana only partially opened the door in ths one, so that no clear view of the interior of the room can be seen and what is hidden inside can remain a mystery.
The pace will definitely slow down for quite a few chapters, so you'll be able to catch a break from all the action, I promise. I was initially planning to write a chapter about the class repairing the damage done from Yuki and Ulura's battle, but I was told my story is losing focus, so I skipped that to go for a more plot-heavy chapter. Maybe I'll add a chapter like that at some point in the future.



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Mon May 16, 2022 8:56 am
VengefulReaper wrote a review...



Hey, just here to leave a quick review!

This was a good aftermath chapter here. One thing you have done really well is giving us an explanation of the absence of the teachers. I certainly didn't expect the headmaster to purposefully withhold the teachers from intervening so that Yuki could put Ulura in her place. At this point, I'm getting the feeling the headmaster is being blackmailed by Ulura's family to deal with her behavior. But it is a sticky situation to be in. He'd rather put up with her than lose the funding that goes into running the school.

So, we have a medic (Annabel) and a flame phoenix (Zoran) added to our cast. From the initial reaction of the students, Zoran is quite the powerhouse even if he's just at 30%. You certainly do a great job of conveying the fear he strikes into the students when he unleashes it.

As for some aspects that need work:

Another burst of pale red and orange flames led to the replacement of the creature by a man in his late 30s – early 40s with very long and shiny straight black hair, black eyes and warm ivory skin, who wore a black coat over a suit that consisted of a brighter red waistcoat and trousers and a darker red shirt, his belt and formal shoes being black, having a rather stern expression right now.

This sentence is way too long. There are too many things being described here. Try to break it up into two sentences. The first is his physical features (eyes, hair, age) and the second is what he's wearing (waistcoat, shirt, shoes etc.). Also, I know we usually indicate 30 to 40 as 30-40 but when you write, if I recall correctly, you need to say "Late 30s to early 40s". If you don't, people think you're using a dash or misusing a hyphen which isn't what you're going for (I think).

Annabel knew the way to the nurse’s office better than anyone as she often assisted her when some student got hurt too bad. It was in the same part of the main school building as the canteen, only on the second floor. And since she knew nurse Neana Ilre better than any of her classmates, she thought it best to personally prepare Yuki for her first visit with Sunbird’s main medic.

This is a good time to add a little more description. Yuki has never been to the nurse's office. Take a break from dialogue to briefly explain what she sees on her way there. You can also describe what the interior of the nurse's office looked like. Yuki has never been to a nurse's office. Think of the smell of sanitizers (does she like it? Does she cough when she inhales it?), or perhaps she catches a glimpse at needles and it freaks her out? Describe the room even if it is just briefly.

Nevertheless, those are just nitpicks. One round of editing will do the trick. There's not a lot to change. It's good to see Yuki has found a class that accepts her and is just as much of a troublemaker as she is. Looking forward to finding out who Neana is and what she can do in the next chapter hopefully. I can feel these past few chapters building to something greater and rivalries forming that will be entertaining to read in the future.

Thus far, I am really enjoying the novel. It has strong characterization and the setup is being handled really well. Overall, your pacing has been on point for the content of the chapters. I'm hoping to see things slow down a little. See how the fight has affected the character interactions on a normal day of school and hopefully see some quality time with the class as they clean up the mess caused by the fight.

As always, take what you find useful and discard the rest. Keep writing!
The reaper sends his regards.




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Mon Mar 28, 2022 1:09 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Characters

Yuki can sti be called that 'normal' person. To me, these people do not appear to be normal but rather crazy to some extent. It's true that whatever they do can be called normal according to their own esteem because their esteem itself is normal. I do wonder sometimes if Yuki too will become this. I hope not, she presents to us a difference other than them and I really like it.

Jumping into Zoran, I guess you tried to portray him as the funny headmaster of a school who pretends to be serious to the students. That while not being a very unique character development might be okay for what you wish to do with this novel afterwards. Children will enjoy it.

Talking about the other characters, I do want a bit more of character development. Like you summed up one or two character traits of the people and at every step, you are using those traits. That's kind of okay but it's not very fun to read it as a novel. It's quite fun when we can discover and rediscover the characters in a novel.

Plot

Those were very predictable consequences. However, I indeed wasn't expecting that development about Ulura's family. I didn't really think about Ulura's family's contribution to school. That also sums up why none of the teachers could punish her. Okay, that is a bit normal now. That's quite a sad thing though. I really hope that someone is going to do something with this matter. I don't think anyone knew of it. Now, pretty much everyone does. Also, the students have got some courage to fight against Ulura. She will have a hard time creating mess in the school from now on.

And now comes Yuki's deva. Sometimes she appears to me the ultimate deviant who literally can do everything. I should sometime make a list of all the devas she have, the list is going to be quite long. The deviants do things after knowing their devas and Yuki does things even without knowing them.

The nurse's office now. I am not sure what is going to happen inside the nurse's office. From what it seems to me, Yuki is not going to tell the nurse anything about her appearance. Yuki appears to be quite a decent person. I guess Ulura too is going to come to the Nurse's office and another storm will start. I just hope the nurse will not be in between them.

Also, the cleaning thing. I don't know why but it appears to be a very easy thing to do for the deviants to me. But eh perhaps, this will be hard. Easiest things are sometimes the hardest.

Flow and pace & description

I don't have a lot to say about the flow and pace. I think these were pretty good. I could actually pretty clearly understand the scene transitions and all.

One thing which I would like to say about is the description. You do need a bit more descriptions here and there. Yuki is still new to the school and hasn't explored the whole school, so some descriptions when they were going to the nurse wouldn't really. That's all, hope you find the review helpful.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




SalisRuinen says...


Hey! Thank you for the review!
Concerning the characters, I'm very pleased with the impression you've been left with about them so far. It is precisely what I wanted. I deliberately introduce most of the characters by one of their flaws often represented through a comedic situation, so the reader will think they don't have a lot going on. But trust me when I tell you, each member of the main group has one or more dark secrets in their past. Zoran is also among those, despite the vibes he was giving off here. As time progresses, more will be revealed about everyone, but given the number of characters, it will take a while for such revelations to be made for each one.
Not to worry about Ulura's family. Their involvement in the story is just beginning. Keeping all of Yuki's abilities in mind is a good thing as well as the fact than not all of them are of the deva-type, because there is a direct connection between them and her true identity. About the teleportation she used (if that's what you were refering to when you said she does things without knowing them), up to this point she just assumed that it was something everyone can do and it should be possible for her as well. The reason why her classmates were amazed by her teleportation will be revealed in the next chapter.
The cleaning duties Yuki and her class will have should indeed not be something difficult to do, at least if normal people were doing it. But given these hot heads' aptitude for getting carried away, one never knows how things will go.
You make a very good point about the descriptions and I'll be sure to work on that.



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Sun Mar 27, 2022 3:17 pm



Defeat has its lessons as well as victory.
— Pat Buchanan