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Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Iceflame// Chapter 7: The Family's All Together

by SalisRuinen


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Streams of electricity, bursts of red fireworks, ice shards and spheres of bright yellow flames erupted in the highest amount among the devas released in the police precinct area. The reason?

The clash between Yuki, Hikaru, Seiren, Saya, the ones who protested against them, the ones who supported them, the ones who were trying to get an interview and the police officers who were trying to restrain everyone escalated further.

While fighting, the baby doll looked at one of the reporters who was trying to give a commentary on the current events and was standing too close to the spiky-haired and golden-haired rivals who were fighting battles of their own.

(Random reporter) ‘-We’re coming to you live from Deckstoru’s central police precinct where as you can see everyone is fighting everyone! And our main celebrities are …’ (that’s when Hikaru hit him from the one side of the face and Seiren – from the other, both of them looking rather irritated)

(Hikaru, Seiren) ‘-Just shut the hell up already!’

Simultaneously one of the protesters had managed to land a hit on Saya’s neck, smiling with great confidence and probably believing he had turned the tide of the battle in the protesters’ favor with that single strike.

Rather than that, he had awakened a second Summerbolt beast.

Veins protruded on the fiery mom’s face who smashed a mighty right uppercut in her latest assailant’s jaw, grabbing him by the leg after he had been lifted off the ground by her attack and throwing him on her back, starting to spin and form more and more of her specific flames in a circle around her.

Yuki had been around one destructive member of this family long enough to know what Saya’s current actions meant – evacuate her vicinity as fast as possible if you want to live.

(Yuki) ‘-Everyone, run!!! Get away from her!! She’s gone insane and she’s very scaryyyy!!!’

The fiery mom had formed a typhoon of flames around her, causing it to explode and sending the man she had given a nice tan with her deva, while carrying him on her back, some distance away.

Many other protesters, fans, reporters and police officers were caught up in this, of course, parts of the body of each person affected by the blast being set on fire.

The white-haired beauty herself was thrown aside by the attack and the shockwave it had led to, an arm made of the same bright yellow flames coming out of the risen smoke and pulling her back in. Fortunately Iceflame responded fast enough by enveloping the part of her body coming in contact with the flames in her ice or she would’ve been toast, too.

As she was pulled back in, she saw Saya was waiting on the other side of the smoke with a confused expression.

(Saya) ‘-Yuki, where are you going? We’re not done yet! Get back here!’

(Yuki) ‘-How did I even get involved in this?!?!!’

As the baby doll was thrown right back in the fray, she saw that mobs of protesters had now crushed Hikaru and Seiren in each other, the rivals having smashed their foreheads together and roaring at the other with faces almost comically twisted by anger.

(Hikaru) ‘-When are you going to stop getting in my way?!’

(Seiren) ‘-I was gonna ask the same thing! We still have a score to settle about what happened in the boys’ dorm but I haven’t had a change to crush you yet!’

(Hikaru) ‘-Why don’t we do it now, then? Might as well settle up before the ordinari kill us!!’

A sudden gust of wind split the air as Hikaru and Seiren were getting ready to hit each other and Yuki was getting ready to go and stop them, several people being lifted off the ground by the sheer strength of the wind.

Something passed through the ordinari protesters who were up in the air with great speed then, smashing a hit in each one and sending them flying tens of meters away to fall back into the ranks of the crowd they had come from.

Finally the ground started shaking and a wall of large rocks clustered together rose between Saya and Yuki and some of their opponents. Seconds later one silhouette landed on top of the wall while being carried by a gust of wind, the superfast silhouette who had taken care of those ordinari protesters landing next to the wall and a third silhouette coming out of the wall itself.

The fiery mom smiled decisively upon seeing this trio, Yuki being confused by their arrival at first, soon enough seeing all three had skin with the same tone – a few shades darker than Seiren, all of them also having the same black hair.

While the girl that looked no more than 9 years old and the man that looked in his late twenties had brown eyes however, the woman, who had used a gust of wind to move around, had blue eyes, her hair also being shoulder-length while that of the girl equaled the length of Saya’s hair.

(Saya) ‘-So you three made it.’

(Yuki) ‘-Are they … on our side?’

(Saya) ‘-Oh, you don’t know each other yet. Meet the rest of the Summerbolts, Yuki. That blue-eyed vixen on the left is my younger sister, Iziya, the mindless brute on the right is my younger brother, Graid.’

(Yuki) ‘-And the girl in the center, is that Iziya or Graid’s daughter? I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring a child into all this.’

(Rose) ‘-No, silly girl! I’m Rose, these three hot heads’ mom and therefore Hikaru’s grandma! It’s great to finally meet you!’

The night seemed to hold more surprises than Yuki was prepared to take.

She was already convinced that Hikaru’s family was insane but the fact that his grandmother looked like a little girl next to the fully-grown man and two women who were her children … was simply baffling beyond compare.

(Yuki) ‘-Um … how does that work exactly? I mean … is there a rational explanation for this?’

(Rose) ‘-Yeah, but we’ll have to postpone that explanation until we’re out of this pinch!’

Hikaru had also seen the other members of his family arriving, jumping up and down with the widest and most joyous smile his face was capable of producing while Seiren seemed to be overwhelmed by emotions just as strong but with a focus on misery and disappointment instead.

The protesters looked like they had been discouraged by the trio’s arrival, the fans being excited, the reporters – confused while the police officers seemed to have given up all hope of surviving or even preserving their sanity at this point.

(Hikaru) ‘-Ha-ha-ha-HAAAA!!!! The Summerbolt Five is assembled! We’re bound to win now!!’

(Seiren) ‘-But what about me? No one from my family came for meeeeeeeee!!’

While Iceflame was trying to make sense of the situation she had found herself in, Iziya sent gusts of wind to many of the protesters, throwing them around, Graid going through the ranks of others on the ground with very high speed and beating them up with a single hit for each target given his great strength. Only now did the white-haired beauty notice his body had burst in green and red energy simultaneously while doing this.

Rose was providing cover for those two from the attacks of the anti-deva arsenal the police were using to stop them with her rock walls as Saya incinerated a crystal shell aimed at Yuki with a wave of her flaming hand.

After seeing the shell had begun transforming into a gigantic bull head with a mad expression before crumbling, the amnesiac and Hikaru’s mother looked at each other.

(Saya) ‘-They’ve got our back, Yuki. Don’t worry.’

(Yuki) ‘-So all of Hikaru’s family members have very strong devas? (Saya nodded while Yuki sighed) And I guess you’re all insane …’

(Saya) ‘-Better get used to it because you’re a part of that family now.’

(Yuki) ‘-W-What? What does that mean?’

(Saya) ‘-I talked with Seiren’s family before coming here. Since my son’s the one who found you, you’ll be staying with our family for the time being. It’s the least we can do to repay you for saving that runt’s life.’

(Yuki) ‘-But I’m the one indebted to him! And to Seiren! And to your whole family now!’

(Saya) ‘-Better stay close to the ones you owe a debt, then, right? A deviant without a family can’t last long here. And if a naïve amnesiac like you is going to be joining any family, might as well join the craziest one! You’ll fit right in!’

Rose stepped closer to those two then.

(Rose) ‘-If you two are quite finished, I think I see our back-up on the horizon so we better get ready for the last stretch of this madness!’

(Yuki) ‘-Back-up?’

(Saya) ‘-You didn’t think we've been fighting all this time just because of the protesters’ taunts, did you? The plan right from the start was for the Summerbolts to come here in two waves in order to focus the attention of everyone in the area, especially that of the police, on us. That way our back-up could move freely and reach us without anyone noticing.’

Seiren had started jumping up and down with a most happy expression himself, Hikaru looking in the direction his rival was looking to see a mass of people that had stopped the traffic on the nearby bridge over the river just next to the police precinct area. All these people were led by a trio, consisting of a man, a woman and a boy in his mid-teens, all having traits and wearing outfits of a similar color scheme to Blackscale’s.

(Seiren) ‘-There they are! My folks and brother are here, too!’

(Hikaru) ‘-Looks like they’re bringing a lot of deviants with them, but … there is something behind them. What is that?’

The ‘thing’ was a number of what appeared to be military ground vehicles in between which hundreds of men in special uniforms with angry expressions were running, tens of military hover- and aircrafts coming at Deckstoru from the horizon, Seiren’s family and the other deviants actually running away from them.

The hot heads back at the precinct couldn’t hear everything the coming group shouted as they were still far, but one word stood out among all the others: ‘run’.

(Seiren) ‘-The ordinari brought the army?!’

(Hikaru) ‘-Now this is going to turn into a civil war!’

(Iziya) ‘-Not if we can help it, brats!’

Iziya went past Hikaru and grabbed him with one of her wind gusts, Graid going over to Seiren and throwing him on his back, Saya’s younger brother and sister going to where she, Yuki and Rose were holding off the enemy.

Once they had done that, the fiery mom sent a shot of bright yellow flames from her fist above the precinct, where it released a marvelous explosion.

(Saya) ‘-Over here!’

The other deviants cleared a path for them and although it was hard, the pervert’s family found their way to him, the Blackscales also being brought together, just then the soldiers combining their forces with the police, surrounding the rebels on all sides, the protesters being mixed in their ranks with triumphant smiles.

The fan-group members were angered by this turn of events but stood their ground next to the Summerbolts, Blackscales and their deviant allies, the reporters having fallen silent and looking with great concern at both sides of the conflict, the rays of the sun reaching everyone as it started rising over the bridge.

Saya and Seiren’s father stepped forward to speak with the police commissioner and the general leading the army forces that had just arrived while Yuki wound up between Hikaru and Seiren in the midst of all the chaos.

The three started talking with each other in a low voice as the representatives of the opposing groups started talking as well.

(Hikaru) ‘-So you met all the members of my family. What do you think?’

(Yuki) ‘-I’m not all that surprised, considering they’re related to you.’

(Seiren) ‘-My family’s just as crazy, so I’m sure you’ll like them more. You’re welcome to stay with us if you want, Yuki.’

(Yuki) ‘-I may take you up on that offer, Seiren, but for now I’ll be staying with the Summerbolts. Hikaru’s mom told me earlier that’s the decision your two families have come to. I’m the one most directly responsible for everything that’s happened here, so I don’t really have the right to question your parents’ choice.’

Those words brought a jubilant smirk to the spiky-haired teenager’s face.

(Hikaru) ‘-Guess I win this time, Blackscale!’

(Seiren) ‘-Don’t get too thrilled, Summerbolt. We may all be dead soon enough, so you won’t be able to enjoy your triumph for much longer.’

The trio’s attention then turned to the adults who seemed to be negotiating with the police and military elite at the moment.

(Saya) ‘-I see the ordinari have not sat idly by and have gathered a considerable force.’

(Serego) ‘-We formed a rebel force of our own in response to the violent treatment of the deviants from Deckstoru after this last incident.’

(The commissioner) ‘-And what do you plan to do with that rebel force now?’

(Saya) ‘-We only wanted to send a message. If you brand a single deviant, all others will rise to defend their kind. That’s how unified we are. And you’ll have a civil war on your hands if you keep this up.’

(Serego) ‘-But there’s no need for such things. Neither side will profit if the violence escalates further. As I understand it, these three kids even offered to take on all the punishment you had in mind for us just to avoid the possibility of the conflict between ordinari and deviants growing any bigger.

Although they knew what had happened was no fault of theirs. They cared for protecting the ordinari as much as protecting the deviants. They cared about protecting the very people who had condemned them for crimes they didn’t commit.’

(Saya) ‘-All we came here to do is to defend those three and what they’re fighting for.

To defend the peace between our species. For both sides’ sake.

While using extreme measures to protect the brats, that was meant to further demonstrate our resolve. We would kick ass any day to avoid deaths, as weird as it may sound.’

(The general) ‘-So you’re suggesting we just let this slide?’

(Serego) ‘-Would you prefer to go with the other option over something so petty?’

(Saya) ‘-We’re not saying the latest events shouldn’t be investigated. But wait until you find actual evidence implicating any Deckstorian deviant before you start judging us while we’re trying to protect everyone.’

The commissioner and the general sighed and looked at each other and then at the people around them.

It felt as if an eternity had passed before any of them spoke again and the tension in the air became that much more palpable during that strenuous moment.

(The commissioner) ‘-You’re free to go. But we’ll be calling on all deviants in the city for questioning in relation with the incident from yesterday.’

(The general) ‘-And things won’t go smoothly at all if we find anything on any of you.’

(Serego) ‘-Much appreciated! And about the protesters who are still here …’

(The commissioner) ‘-We’ll deal with the hostile elements in our ranks. Do the same with the ones in yours.’

(Saya) ‘-Understood. Thank you, sir.’

The deviants started cheering, the protesters getting ready to attack them again as the police and army split the effort of holding them back, the reporters continuing their reports of the situation.

Seiren turned his triumphant grin to Hikaru then, while the overly happy Yuki sighed when she saw the next confrontation between the rivals was already brewing.

(Seiren) ‘-I guess we won’t be dying yet, mad bastard! That means Yuki’ll have all the time in the world to decide which family she prefers to stay with! Our battle is far from over!’

(Hikaru) ‘-I’m ready for a rematch any time, damn pervert! And so is my family!!’

That was the first instance in which Yuki responded in a manner she would expect one of the Summerbolts to react in – she hit both Hikaru and Seiren on the head and held them down as they reached for the other with an angry face even while on the ground.

(Yuki) ‘-Will you two give it a rest already?!!’

The old dogs from the Summerbolt and Blackscale family laughed while watching this scene with satisfied smiles.

(Rose) ‘-Yep! The three of them are getting along just fine, I see!’

The white-haired beauty had been in Deckstoru for only a short while but already the temper of the local deviants and most of all – that of the Summerbolts – seemed to be rubbing off her. What was going to happen as she spent more and more time with them?


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Tue May 24, 2022 1:10 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ok I'm back!

I like the description in the beginning of this chapter. We've had a lot of action and speech recently so this feels like a good point at which to change it up a bit.

I also have to agree with Forever below about refering to Yuki as the baby doll throughout this. I'm not personally a fan because although that might have been how the boys thought of her before, she's somewhat their friend now and I think we've moved beyond that. She has a name and we know it, so I don't see a need to refer to her as anything else unless it's by a character who hasn't met/interacted with her yet. This is the same for when you refer to her as the 'white haired beauty'. For a few chapters, it was more confusing than anything.

The fight here seems to be escalated by the boys which leads me to be more sympathetic to the ordinari. No wonder they all know who the two families are if they always cause this much chaos!

There's a lot of characters in this chapter so I hope they all come back when the pace is a bit slower so we can get to know them better. The dynamic with Rose is one of particular interest and I hope we get to explore that one a bit more.

This turning into a war also seemed a bit sudden but I think part of that is to do with the pacing I mentioned in previous chapters. We never really slow down so it feels like the whole novel is happening at top speed and as such it means that things (like the war) seem sudden where you would expect more of a build up.

I feel like there must be some consequences for this but nobody seems to be as concerned as I would expect. I guess as usual I'll just have to read on to find out more!

Icy




SalisRuinen says...


Thank you for the review!!
The matter with Rose will be addressed in the very next chapter, so fear not. And about the pace, the next two chapters are quite a bit slower, so I hope you'll be able to catch your breath with them.
The main consequences of the events at the precinct are that the suspicion toward deviants, which is already pretty high, will further increase.



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Wed Mar 02, 2022 4:29 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Well to the minor things first: Maybe it's only me but I do sometimes feel a bit thrown off when Iceflame is called as the baby doll amidst actions. When you imagine a baby doll, it's really really hard to imagine that she is fighting, attacking and injuring other people. Referring to her as the baby doll is okay when they are in a normal situation but when it is done amidst actions, I just don't like it. It's completely upto you though :)

(Hikaru, Seiren) ‘-Just shut the hell up already!’

I am sure they didn't say the same thing together. I would recommend to make one of them say it. It's nkind of very unlikely when they say the exact ditto copy of one another.
The fiery mom smiled decisively upon seeing this trio, Yuki being confused by their arrival at first, soon enough seeing all three had skin with the same tone – a few shades darker than Seiren, all of them also having the same black hair.

Well, I would just say to recommend Seiren from the picture. See, first of all comparing with Seiren sets an opinion among the readers that these people are relatives of Seiren but that was not the true thing. We already have three new characters to deal with, misleadings are to be avoided when they have nothing beneficial to do with the plot.

Now to the main elements. We already have quite some characters to deal with. I didn't realize that we have actually come to chapter 7 until this point. Okay so three more Summerbolts. Hm... it interests me. What about Hikaru's father? Is he there? I don't know, this chaptr kind of made me feel that he is not there. There was that line which said about that Summerbolt Five. I guess these 'Summerbolt Five' are the only people who go to tolerate and calm wars. Oh this grandma is an exceedingly interesting character. I do indeed wonder about her. Heights can of course be a reason but I don't think it was because of the height. Something else is there. Some gene or something. I am waiting for the explanation that the person will hopefully give to Yuki. Talking about the other characters, I really like how these characters are consistent throughout the story.

Jumping into the plot, nothing really good is going to happen to them. One thing I should tell and that is these police or army or whatever, they are kind of supporters of these deviants. Maybe they don't really *support* the deviants but their actions are really very supportive. Like they should be using their power to control the deviants but they seem to be not working.

These deviants are tirelessly fighting the ordinaries but I am more than afraid about their health. I don't know how much harm they are exactly doing to their health.You could add a bit about their health condition in between the gaps. It would just make the readers worried even if they are reading very fast and not analysing the chapters. The normal readers are the best judges, after all.

There's one thing which I would really like to tell and that is the flow. You seem to kind of summarise the last chapter in the beginning of each chapter. One one side, that is a very good thing when the reader is reading the text slowly and like giving a gap between two chapters. However then there are the crazy readers who aim to finish a book in one or two sitting. For those readers, it can break the flow. I am not sure whether to rank it under positive or negative... I do think it's a positive thing though.

And now the Summerbolts. Well, they are indeed one of the most powerful deviant families. They have simply got crazy powers and now putting Yuki in is going to make them even crazier. Yuki has got too much at once. Poor thing! She will probably get crazy if they stay with them for even longer period of time..

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




SalisRuinen says...


Thanks for the review!
Apologies for calling Yuki a 'baby doll' during the fight. I just have a number of expressions describing each character that work as a substitute for their names and my focus was on not repeating the same expression too often instead of looking at the context more. I'll keep a watchful eye for such things in the future.
Hikaru and Seiren saying that line at the same time is a typical example of the genre I have in mind when writing the story, which is a light novel (possibly to be translated to manga/anime at a certain point), where such things happen from time to time, mostly for a comical effect, and sometimes not just two, but more characters say the same thing simultaneously. I won't often use this approach but sometimes lines will be spoken like this. I hope it won't be too much of an issue.
You're absolutely right about the comparison of the skin tone to Seiren's. I should've just used a particular color to describe it.
The situation with Hikaru's father will be addressed later while the explanation behind Rose's appearance will be given in the next chapter, so fear not!
More descriptions of the characters' health state will be added from now on, I promise.
I do indeed sum things up at the beginning of each chapter, which I meant to keep as a method to avoid confusion because as time passes, more and more characters will be involved in simultaneously occuring events. I'll keep using opening lines to set the scene but maybe I'll limit it to chapters where there's a change of scenery or a longer period of time has passed.




Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly.
— Francis Bacon