Hi there Beast! You posted this chapter in the General Review Repository a few months ago, so I figured I'd add another review to it ^^
Of all the foods he had ever tasted he found sushi one of the nastiest, still, he had to order something so as not to be rude.
Before I get into general comments, I wanted to make some small grammatical suggestions. Be careful about writing comma splices! In this line, I've bolded the section which is a comma splice, where you separate two independent clauses with a comma instead of a period. The issue with comma splices is they can really mess up the reader's flow, since they're expecting the sentence to full stop, but it doesn't. This is only one instance of it showing up in your writing, but they occur fairly frequently in your descriptions, so be on the lookout.
Another thing I notice is a lack of a comma where there should be one. Here is an example:
Kay glanced at her making her look away.
Here, there should be a comma between "at her" and "making her", since the first part is its own sentence that can stand on its own (independent clause) and the second part relies on the first one to make sense (dependent clause). I know this can seem nitpicky, but it really does mess up how the reader is reading, since the grammar mimics how we speak and read.
The other thing I would suggest is to take a quick look at your dialogue punctuation. It's really hard sometimes to get it right, so you can look at this link to a YWS Knowledge Base article for some tips and tricks!
Character wise, I think you did a good job characterizing them throughout this part! I'm sure you also spent some time in the first chapter establishing them, but throughout their actions, their voices, and the way they speak in dialogue, it's clear that Kay has a bit of a soft spot for Julliete, even if he is typically more brave and bold, while Julliete is more practical, level headed, and a bit stubborn at times. It very clearly comes through!
My only complaint is that this chapter feels very short. Not a whole lot happens, and I feel like you could spend a little bit more time expanding it. While you don't need action in every single chapter, there should be some element of moving the story along somehow. You could give Kay and Juilliete some time together at the sushi place, giving us more character and showing their dynamic. You could expand more on what they do together to show their chemistry. Or you could even launch into what is going on in the alley, because right now I'm wondering what this chapter's purpose is. If it's just to transition, you can easily do that in a couple of paragraphs without needing its own chapter.
I also agree with Icy that you have some strong descriptions in this chapter I think it would be beneficial to just expand on those a little. Hope this helped!
Happy writing ^^
~ Wolfe
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