Clouds show their underbellies and the grasshoppers scream
They become mute
Like someone is silencing them
We anxiously await to be swooned away
By the subtle wind
And to be blinded by the bright stars that bring life to our hearts
We are children of the universe
The sun shines mutely through parchment paper air dehydrating our skin
making our hands like those of a ghost
Cracked with the static of a lost connection
A break comes in the sky
Leaving our eyes squinted
Watching the rays arch over our greyscale bodies
This is how we survive
By Not a dance but a fight for
Those rainbow vibes to melt hearts
That belong to the Children of the Universe
Okay so the lines gave me a clear image of the story, which is good because that is what all poems have to have. So, overall, on that topic, it is good so far.
The last line of the poem or story was a great idea and imaginative way to end a story or poem, so that is good too.
Overall, your story is amazing, and there is a word that used to describe that.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...
Anyway, have a good day/night
Wow lovely first work! You've got some very unique pieces of imagery in here. Looking forward to reading more of your writing. 
~alliyah
Hiya! Ima review this. Okay so first I’m going to start off by saying that the lines gave me clear images of what they might look like. And I think that’s a pretty great element to have in a poem, which you executed perfectly. I really liked the repeated line of “children of the universe” because it gave more of an impact and really added to the poem. The only critique I have for this poem, which was probably just a typo, but you capitalized the word “not” in one of the last sentences. Which of course isn’t a big deal whatsoever, just thought I’d let you know. Anyways! I really enjoyed this poem and the images it gave to me, I’m surprised no one has reviewed this yet because it was actually pretty good! I liked how, no matter how long the line was, you managed to be able to stay in flow with the other lines. I think that’s pretty amazing in itself. Anyways, sorry if this wasn’t much of a help I couldn’t really think of any critique for this. Anyways! Have a goooooodddd day and keep writing amurzing poemz!
~CAKEEEEE~
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