z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Yellow Roses

by Smuggg


The yellow roses harvested

In couples by the road

And the speckled deer stand by the pond

Eating grass by the mouthful

And the slapping of their tongues to their lips

Is aggressive enough

To frighten the fish

Whom are being hunted

By the men of the village

That are worshiped

When they return home

For bringing dinner

To their wives and children

Along with Yellow roses

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386 Reviews

Points: 27684
Reviews: 386

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Sun Feb 24, 2019 5:20 am
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi @Sumgg I am here to do a review on your poem.

What I like most about it

I really feel like this, I feel like this could be a son.

what lines are the best

The yellow roses harvested
I really like how you started this of so much to one line, I like the the sound of yellow roses.

In couples by the road
This just sounds really sweat I feel, I love this line and the first, they just go so well to gather.

And the speckled deer stand by the pond
Oh I love this, some grate imagery here,

And the slapping of their tongues to their lips
Well that's some good description here, this line just gives me so much i dear's.

Description

I feel like your description it is really good I like how you describe stuff, also I am getting really good images in my head right now, every line is some thing new I feel.

So this is all that I can say about this, So keep up the real good poem writing here I hope to read more of your stuff.

@EagleFly out to Seek and Kill

Happy Review Day




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61 Reviews

Points: 4338
Reviews: 61

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Sun Feb 24, 2019 12:16 am
OofOof1 wrote a review...



I love this beautiful thing.

I just thought that this would be a good poem about flowers, but I got proven wrong. This is a piece of art. I loved the second last line of this poem, and love that this is one stanza long. Though, when you said eating grass flby the mouth full, the was kind of confusing, maybe if you make another line telling the readers what it means, then that would be great.

That is my only feedback on this for now. Have a good day.





Your hesitation suggests you are trying to protect my feelings. However, since I have none, I would prefer you to be honest. An artist's growth depends upon accurate feedback.
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