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To Kiss A Rainbow

by Smuggg

Clouds show their underbellies and the grasshoppers scream

They become mute

Like someone is silencing them

We anxiously await to be swooned away

By the subtle wind

And to be blinded by the bright stars that bring life to our hearts

We are children of the universe

The sun shines mutely through parchment paper air dehydrating our skin

making our hands like those of a ghost

Cracked with the static of a lost connection

A break comes in the sky

Leaving our eyes squinted

Watching the rays arch over our greyscale bodies

This is how we survive

By Not a dance but a fight for

Those rainbow vibes to melt hearts

That belong to the Children of the Universe

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61 Reviews

Points: 4338
Reviews: 61

Sun Feb 24, 2019 2:17 pm
OofOof1 wrote a review...

Okay so the lines gave me a clear image of the story, which is good because that is what all poems have to have. So, overall, on that topic, it is good so far.

The last line of the poem or story was a great idea and imaginative way to end a story or poem, so that is good too.

Overall, your story is amazing, and there is a word that used to describe that.


Anyway, have a good day/night

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948 Reviews

Points: 123381
Reviews: 948

Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:15 pm
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alliyah says...

Wow lovely first work! You've got some very unique pieces of imagery in here. Looking forward to reading more of your writing. :)


Smuggg says...

Thank You so much! I hope you enjoy my page!

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64 Reviews

Points: 733
Reviews: 64

Sat Feb 02, 2019 2:06 am
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Aliceinhorrorland wrote a review...

Hiya! Ima review this. Okay so first I’m going to start off by saying that the lines gave me clear images of what they might look like. And I think that’s a pretty great element to have in a poem, which you executed perfectly. I really liked the repeated line of “children of the universe” because it gave more of an impact and really added to the poem. The only critique I have for this poem, which was probably just a typo, but you capitalized the word “not” in one of the last sentences. Which of course isn’t a big deal whatsoever, just thought I’d let you know. Anyways! I really enjoyed this poem and the images it gave to me, I’m surprised no one has reviewed this yet because it was actually pretty good! I liked how, no matter how long the line was, you managed to be able to stay in flow with the other lines. I think that’s pretty amazing in itself. Anyways, sorry if this wasn’t much of a help I couldn’t really think of any critique for this. Anyways! Have a goooooodddd day and keep writing amurzing poemz!


Smuggg says...

Wow! Thank You so much for this kind review. I am still very shy and awkward about people, especially strangers, to read my work and was extremely nervous to have someone review it for sure. It really means a lot and i appreciate your words. I hope you check out some of my other pieces when i get them up :)

xx Smuggg xx

Yeah I sometimes also have that feeling ahahaha, but I think it just shows that you care about your writings

The heavens laugh with you in your jubilee; my heart is at your festival.
— William Shakespeare