Young Writers Society

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”

If there's one thing my Aunt Teresa taught me, its that death is inevitable,no matter what you do to avoid it you can't. This is what angered me the most about being plagued by cancer. People get all weepy,run away relatives suddenly return and the medicine sucks. My Dad barely has dry eyes anymore and Aunt Teresa has taken to quoting Gandhi and Mother Teresa quotes. It makes me sicker to be honest. Oh, yeah, and mom suddenly popped up. I woke up one morning and Dad was studying his feet while this woman with tight lips studied me. She introduced herself as mother. Apparently word of my inevitable illness spread around and she decided to be polite and visit. Thank you facebook. While I was being filled with useless drugs that would supposedly prolong my fading life;Luna is struggling with her blindness that suddenly occured. My Aunt took her back to her place and is helping as best she can but Luna is a basket case. The doctor told me last month, I have cancer everywhere in my body. There isn't a place that's not covered. The doctors use these big words, Dad sobs more than he talks and my horse needs me, but the bottom line is I'm dying and there's nothing that can be done. So please, just stop saying it's ok and to smile because God loves me. Don't sugar coat the truth and please quit saying sorry. Try to understand because guys: I'm DYING. 

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The doctor came in again today smiling as usual. He always smiles when he walks in, as if that'll distract me from the fact that my hair is gone, my nails don't exists and I'm skinnier than your average model. I don't really eat. I see no point as I throw it back up again anyway. The doctor, Dr. Parks, hums as he changes my fluids and gives me more foul medicine for my body to attack and reject. I keep telling Dad to stop these treatments,they don't help and I'm dying anyways. But he just starts crying and gives me this heart felt speech as to why we need hope. I don't care though. I just want to see Luna and die. See, the one thing no one understands is that it's tiring to keep up this fight. The constant vomiting and losing hair and always needing new medicines is exhausting. I'm tired of fighting to live longer when I'll just be more miserable. I can barely stay awake anymore. I just want to close my eyes and drift off to a better place......... but then I remember Dads tears and Luna and Aunt Teresa and find myself awake to another day. When will I get to say good-bye and mean it? 

Mom walks into the room without knocking. I can't help to feel offended that she intrudes like this as though she never left. My glare broadcasts all this to her as she sits on my bed. She purses her lips and studies her hands with intense fascination. I roll my eyes and take a bite of my oatmeal. Sugar free to help my insulin and keep me alive longer. Yay. Mom looks at me quickly,stands up, and leaves. Makes sense. She always leaves during these 'visits'. Why she comes I don't know or care. 

Aunt Teresa is coming to get me today so I can see Luna. I'm not supposed to be off my meds or I could die, but I need to see my horse and I'm dying either way. Dad was mad when he heard I was taking this risk for a horse, but I hung up before he could make me feel guilty. She arrives at one and we leave at two.  I'm not sure if I'm excited or nervous or both. Aunt Teresa chats about her horses but I don't hear any words. Luna is all I think about. Will she recognize me and be comforted or will she feel abandoned and be angry? These thoughts follow me even as I walk out to pasture to get her. 

The walk isn't far but I feel out of breath and tired. Luna is just up ahead but I feel as though I won't make it three feet. I stop and whistle a familiar tune and Luna lifts her head high. A smile spreads across my face as she trots to me. Just four more steps and I fall. Luna is just feet from me. I gasp her name, "Luna! Luna I'm here",and watch as she comes to me. Her nose nuzzles my hand and soon she is lying beside me. 

I wrap my arms around her neck, pull myself up to her and cry into her mane. She's so skinny now and I'm dying. Literally dying right now. Aunt Teresa must have known because in a matter of minutes the EMTs are loading me onto an ambulance. My mare is left alone in the field while I'm being rushed to the useless hospital. Already I can see my life fading. I can tell that when I arrive, the faces I see will be my last. Again, Aunt Teresa knows this too. For when I arrive at the hospital,mom and Dad are crying and my Luna, my precious Luna is in my bed. How I don't know, but I don't care either. Aunt Teresa is a saint,my mare lies in my bed and my parents are together. This will be a happy good-bye.

I curl up beside her, wrap my arms in her neck. Dad, Mom and Aunt Teresa all hug me and Luna, its like this, all wrapped up in warmth and tears, that I slip away. 

Luna died of depression a month later. The Angels said the funeral was beautiful. I know because I watched seated on Luna, in my Heavenly Kingdom. 

I never liked saying 'good-bye' as though you'll never see each other again. I always said 'see you later'  because I will. We all will see each other later at some point in our lives, it just may take a bit longer than what we prefer. And as I galloped through the Heavenly fields astride my Luna, I smile in anticipation to when I'll see you again. Because I never say good-bye,only see you later........... 

The End