z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

This is our song

by RebelWriter


We are water. We flow like a river,our bodies are one. If centaurs are real then we are proof. He is my legs I am his mind. I predict his every move and he performs with grace like an Angel and ease like a leapord. We dip our heads in unison like. One. Being. We float,no,we fly over the ground, his hooves touching air. He digs his back hooves into the ground and begins dancing in a circle. I merely sit on him while he works. He tucks his front legs under him and rears back on his hocks. We sit like this, then, like a spring unwound,he leaps forward. It is beautiful to watch. To know. To do. It is us. We are one. I am Grace and He is Titus. I am beauty He is power..this is the dance of royalty..this is Dressage. 

The beating of my heart matched the sound of Titus's hooves on the ground. Sweat dripped into my eyes but I didn't blink. I couldn't blink. Wouldn't blink. 

We trot over the ground, he's moving forward on the bit and his steps are even and like elastic. My hands remain soft on the reins and the bit is gentle in his mouth. My posture is straight and erect. Smooth and quiet. His moves are subtle and elegant. I am Grace He is Titus. 

His neck is stretched forward and his withers are arched upwards. His hocks are well-engaged and keep an energetic impulsion as we dance to our song. His shoulders move with great ease and his steps are short as we dance to our song. We dance to "The Firebird" by Stravinsky for I am Grace and He is Titus. And this, this is our song. 

His movements become rounder and his uphill balance strengthens. He moves forward more and his thrusts have more reach. He remains on the bit but I soften my hands and allow him to lower his head and neck. We prance and glide across the arena. I am his princess he is my prince and we dance to our song. Oh, we dance to our song, for I am Grace and He is Titus. 

Our song quickens and so do we. His forefeet touch the ground on the spot towards where they advance;his fore and hind legs are parallel in their forward movement of their extension. He carries his head high, higher, like a king. He knows he is royalty....knows he dances the dance of a king. For this is our song -I am his Princess he is my Prince-and this is our song. For I am Grace and He is Titus. 

We move as one into a canter. His hooves dance to the beat of our song. His head is high his neck is arched as we dance and twirl across the arena. All people and noise disappears. It is as though no one exists. It is just myself and Titus. He moves freely in circles and twirls,like the dance of fairies. His hooves, my heart, we match each other.. complete each others song. His beat is mine and my beat is his. THIS is our song. 

Our song slows to an end and so do we. Titus and I come to the center and halt. We lower our heads in unison and I drop my arm. The judges merely nod and the crowd begins to applaud wildly. Our dance was worth gold and they know it. For this was THEIR song and that was our dance. The dance of royalty. For I am Grace and He is Titus. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Titus's black coat glistens with sweat. Once again he has worked himself and done outstanding. "What have I done to deserve this handsome beast?", I wonder, "For truly he is wonderful to me". I brush him down until he is shiny and dry. A carrot appears in my hand and I feed it to him. He nuzzles my cheek and nickers into my neck. I allow my fingers to entangle themselves in his black mane. The Andalusion in him makes him want to cuddle. They are a beautiful breed from Spain. Lovers of people and tamers of bulls,this is my mount. I was there when he was born all the way up until now. He has just had his tenth birthday and we celebrated with champagne and carrots. 

I am in the midst of braiding roses into his mane when I hear our name being called. I finish my work and ride out to the arena. The smile on my face isn't fake. Our score is exceptional and the gold is mine. I accept the medal and laugh as Titus eats the flowers being wrapped around his neck. 

This is what we strive for. Excellence and glory. I can feel his approval and he can feel mine. For this is our song. I am his Princess and he is my Prince. We are one. I am beauty and he is powerful. 

I am Grace and He is Titus. 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
75 Reviews


Points: 708
Reviews: 75

Donate
Sat Apr 08, 2017 12:54 am
ChieTheWriter says...



Makes me think of the Lipizzaner stallions.




Random avatar

Points: 635
Reviews: 1

Donate
Sun Apr 19, 2015 7:59 am
SadieKane wrote a review...



Hi! :)

You have done an excellent job with this piece of writing.

I just want to point out that there are a few run on sentences at the beginning which may or may not have confused me just a bit. Rather put full stops or commas instead of always writing "and".

Otherwise, you have done a really great job and I love every single part of the story.

I like how you have transformed the beginning to a reality at the end - it was fantastic.

Also, of course I would love it since I absolutely love animals, especially horses. :) Keep up the great work!




Random avatar

Points: 4091
Reviews: 118

Donate
Tue Apr 14, 2015 2:44 pm
Reet3103 wrote a review...



Hey there.

I really enjoyed this piece of perfection :) really it was amazing. I liked the concept here, how you made it sound so realistic. I found a few glitches, small ones, just wouldn't point them out, because I'm sure they were just typos.

And your imagery- hats off!! I loved loved loved it :D

Kudos

Keep writing and stay blessed.

xoxo




User avatar
13 Reviews


Points: 360
Reviews: 13

Donate
Tue Apr 14, 2015 3:19 am
captainearth wrote a review...



This is great! I enjoyed it completely. I too like horses, and so this short really got me.
The grammar you used is well accomplished, and you've got your point out loud and clear, which I always look forward to when first reading any short story, and I think you've just about mastered the skill of creating shorts!

I hope to see more of your work, and I'm sure the rest of us who've read this agree as well. The idea of being sync with your horse is a great one to capture in words, it's hard to describe such things, but you've seem to have no problem with capturing the idea at all.

Again, this is great! Hope to read more from you. Thanks! :D




RebelWriter says...


I'm like, gushing. Wow. I didn't think my writing was that good, but thanks soo much. I'll be writing all about horses and riding and such. I really appreciate your reviews all of them when they come. I always try to do research before a story is written. I also ride a horse and have watched Dressage competitions and I have tons of books describing Dressage too. :D



captainearth says...


Your welcome! :D



User avatar
14 Reviews


Points: 348
Reviews: 14

Donate
Tue Apr 14, 2015 2:58 am
grandpaslippers wrote a review...



Wow! I'm gonna say it right now - as soon as I saw the word, "Dressage" in your short description thing, you had me. I was like, "Ah! A horse person! Someone who speaks my language!"

So anyway :). This is beautiful. And I mean that. You completely and utterly captured the feeling of being in sync with your horse, the exhilerence of simply being in the saddle and becoming one. It was gorgeous. Your imagery is amazing; really, your entire piece is based off of it. You use repetitive wording well, working it back in over and over again and really getting your point across.

I honestly don't really want to criticize your actual writing, just because I'm so happy about the imagery :). You might be able to shorten it a little bit - sometimes this makes it more impactful - but I don't think that's really necessary, if you feel you don't need to. One more thing - I get the feeling that this is a first, maybe second draft. You might want to do a couple proofreads. I noticed a couple little grammar mistakes and such that aren't awful, just a little distracting from the wonderful flow of the story.

Well thank you so much! I loved reading this :)




RebelWriter says...


Thanks!!!! This is my first writing. I'll go through and look for any errors. Yeeess, I know. There aren't enough horse people or writers out There! I plan to fix that. I ride(Western) but I watch Dressage sometimes and Jumping too. I'm glad you liked it so much and appreciate the abundance of compliments.... :)





Awesome! And you're totally welcome!!!! :D




'The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy